So Close Yet So Far

"With all of the struggles and everything in between, I know we can overcome it all and prove anyone that ever doubted us, wrong."


37. ❥Working Together

Two great songs that you could listen to during this chapter are:

North - Sleeping At Last

Over Again - One Direction


Sydneys POV

 That Sunday my dad and I went to church together, just like old times. Everything around the house and between the two of us was still awkward, and I didn't see him accepting our situation anytime soon.

  My mum and step family went back home Christmas day instead of staying, and again, I knew it was because my mum never wanted this for me. She was put in this same exact situation, along with my dad which is why I figured he would be a little more understanding by now, but I was wrong.

  We walked in and my dad sat in the first pew while I figured it would be best for me to sit in the back. My dad acted as if he was embarrassed of me so my best bet was to avoid him any way that I could yet he made me come to church this morning.

  Just as I get out my bible Niall walks in holding his nephew with his mum by his side. I can't help but imagine Theo being our baby he is holding. He doesn't acknowledge me considering the fact that I am to the left of him and in the very last pew. But seeing him nicely dressed in a suit and tie with his hair waxed up like it would be on tour made me smile.

  I readied myself for all of the glares I was going to get today, and accepted the fact that no one at my church put up with teen pregnancies although I was going to be 19 in the coming months. It's times like these when you could really use someone to lean on, to be there for you.

  I know I messed up by saying I was considering abortion, but Niall should know that I could never ever live with myself knowing that I killed our first born. I watched him sit in the same pew he had sat in since we were kids, and almost found myself getting up to sit two rows in front of him just as I did when we were little.

  He would always throw wadded up paper at the back of my head with a written tic tac toe board on it, which was our way of communicating during the service back then. 

  The preacher brought me back to reality when he tapped two fingers on his mic silencing the church signaling that he was about to start service for the morning.

  Niall was in plain sight from where I was sitting and was having trouble with trying to get Theo quiet. I quietly giggled at him trying to give him his bottle but Theo being his stubborn self threw it back at him while whining again.

  "Niall take him outside!" Maura whisper yells at him. Niall quietly scoots past everyone on the same row as him while saying excuse me and walks down the aisle until he sees me. We meet eyes for the first time since he stormed out of my room, and it actually felt good.

  I had a sense of relief wash over me knowing that he could still look me in the eye without being to disgusted. He has never been the one to be afraid to show his feelings towards someone or hold back his opinion.

  He turned his head away and continued walking out of the church after what felt like endless seconds of us just staring at one another. Theo was now full on throwing a temper tantrum, that could be heard from inside, and  I knew Niall was having to much trouble to deal with him alone so I quietly stepped out to go and help him.

  My belly was prominently showing through all of my shirts and dresses now although I wasn't to big yet. I walked down a couple of steps watching Niall pace back and forth trying to get Theo to be quiet. When he pulled at his hair and groaned I giggled catching his attention.

  "Need a little help?" I asked. He shook his head, "No. He's my nephew I know how to quiet him down," I sighed.

  "Niall, we can't avoid each other for forever. We too are having a baby soon." He looks at me and closes his eyes, "We can't do this here. I need to get him quiet so that I can go back in there." My eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Since when are you so determined to go to church?"

  "Since the day I- we sinned." He whispers. My cheeks turn hot and the blank expression on my face tells Niall that he's struck a nerve. "S- so you regret it now, huh." I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying now.

  Theo is flailing his arms and legs everywhere now and I take him from Niall without saying a word. "Shh.. its ok. You're ok," I sway him back and forth cooing and kissing his cheeks. The cold isn't helping at all. My cheeks are so numb I don't even feel myself crying until the tears reach my lips and I taste the saltiness of them.

  "I'm such a mess Theo," I smile down at him and shake my head. "Such a mess."


  After service my dad and I had a relaxing Sunday dinner together. No one spoke. We just ate in silence and that is exactly what I needed, silence. I needed some time to clear my head and rethink everything between Niall and I.

  I couldn't imagine being a single parent with everything Niall has told me and or done for me, but if it all came down to it and I had to take care of my baby by myself, then so be it. The only words my dad spoke to me were that the both of us were being immature about this entire thing. Because in the end it didn't matter about what we needed or wanted it was all about our baby now.

  Everything revolved around this baby, and us acting this way only delayed the process of us getting our own place and things for the baby. So after dinner I rang Niall and he came over so we could sort this out.

  I sat in my bed on my back looking up at the ceiling when there were two knocks on the door. I lift my head up to see that its Niall, and then lay back down. He sits on the bed not saying a word considering the fact that I figured he would actually have something to say.

  I sit up and look at him. He plays with his thumbs, a nervous habit, and bites the inside of his lip. I sigh and catch his attention, "We need to talk." I say. He nods and turns towards me with one leg on the bed and the other one off.

  "I- I didn't mean what I said at church this morning," Theres a start. "You sure? It seemed like you did." He looks at me and now I know he means it. "I was just saying stuff Sydney! I don't know what is wrong with me- us. I don't know what is wrong, but I want to fix it now. I can not go another night without seeing the both of you. It's killing me." 

  A part of me lightens back up at his words and a feel ten percent less stressed than I was five minutes ago. "I know I started this entire thing by not listening to what you had to say, but I just couldn't believe that you had actually considered abortion." He shakes his head at the word and frowns.

  "I am so sorry, Niall." I play with frayed pieces of my blanket and silence over takes the room again. "Don't be," He slides his hand into mine and I look up at him. "We're in this together, right?" I nod and scoot closer to him burying my head into his chest, engulfing his all to familiar scent, and feeling content with everything at the moment.

  Niall rubs his hands up and down my belly and I finally feel like our little family is one piece again.


I have been getting lots of questions as to what is going on and what I am currently doing is rewriting both of my stories but I have to obviously do one at a time because I am still planning a different outcome to this one. I am only one person and am trying to make the chapters just as long as they were when I wrote them the first time because they all needed to be badly rewritten my writing was terrible xD I am going as fast as I can so please just bare with me! Love you all don't forget to comment,like,fan,and fav <3333

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