So Close Yet So Far

"With all of the struggles and everything in between, I know we can overcome it all and prove anyone that ever doubted us, wrong."

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32. ❥Moving Forward

 "Babe let me do this," I sit on my suitcase struggling to get the stubborn zipper to move so that it would close. "Maybe you have to many clothes?" He smirks.

  I roll my eyes and get up so that he can take over this job. "I will be packing some snacks for the drive then," I leave my side of the dorm and go into the kitchen area.

  "GRAPES OR STRAWBERRIES?" I yell to him.

  "GRAPES!" He hollers back. He only chose those because he knows that those are my favorite. I smile at the thought.

  Just as I am packing two plastic bags full of grapes for Niall and I, Shelby walks in.

  "Hey!" I stop what I am doing and wrap my arms around her neck. Believe it or not I have missed having Shelby around. She is one of the few people I knew here and I am definitely going to miss her.

  "Sorry if I am invading you guy's space but.." I cut her off.

  "No, no not at all! This is your dorm too. Niall and I may not have seen each other for a while, but that doesn't mean you aren't welcome here anymore. Sorry if I have made it seem like I didn't want you around.." I run my hand up and down her arm and she smiles.

  "I understand its just that I knew you guys needed some alone time so I just thought I would give you some space to do that. Are you guys by chance going home for Christmas?" She asks.

  "That is actually why we are packing now," I giggle and she nods walking to her bed. "So am I, but I am leaving later tonight. Since I live in Dublin it obviously isn't going to take me forever to get home like it will for you and Niall." She smiles and pulls a suitcase out from under her bed. I actually can't remember the last time she slept in it, but it is still neatly made with her favorite One Direction pillow placed in the middle of two bigger ones.

  "So, when are you and Niall leaving again?" 

  "In a few. We have a long drive ahead of us and we want to get home to spend Christmas Eve with our families." I retort.

  "Thats nice. I know Niall is excited to get home and see his family. He has been gone for so long.." Shelby states and Niall comes and answers for me before I can do so.

  "I have, but it is all apart of doing what I love," He smiles and slides his arm across my lower back pulling me closer to him.

  "You all done?" I ask him. "By the way Shelby, Niall thinks I have far to many clothes," I giggle.

  Shelby scoffs and stops folding her sweaters and jeans to look up at Niall. He flushes and I can tell he's becoming embarrassed by the remark he made earlier.

  "I just don't understand it. Look at you as well!" Niall points out Shelby's already half full suitcase.

  "Hey, don't start picking on me now," She grins and talks as she folds, "A girl can never have to many clothes, even if she is just going home for the holidays and coming back to Uni afterwards!"

  The blood drains from my face at her mention of coming back after the break. Through all of our banter I failed to mention that I wouldn't be coming back. We are all in such goods moods and I hate to ruin it now with bad news.

  "Hey," Niall catches on to my instant mood change and turns my chin so that I am looking up at him, "What's wrong babe?" He whispers.

  I pull my chin out of his hold and look towards Shelby making sure she hasn't caught on to what is going on. She is happily packing her things and I hate to come and ruin the mood, but I can't just leave and not come back. She will for sure either think I died or fell off of the face of the earth.

  "I haven't told her that I am not coming back yet Ni." I frown at my stupid mistake.

  As soon as she walked in that should have been the first thing I did. I should have sat Shelby down and told her everything that was going on.

  "I will go and put the our suitcases in the car while you tell her, deal?" He smiles at me and runs his thumb across my cheek. A sudden urge of confidence comes over me. That is what Niall does to me.

  "Deal." Niall softly kisses my lips before taking two suitcases at a time down with him.

  "Everything ok?" Shelby zips her first suitcase up and gets up off of her knees. "Yeah..c..can I talk to you though?" I question.

  "Yeah, of course." She follows me to the couch and I sit her down and tell her everything from the night we all got shit faced to me thinking that I was just sick but that actually turned into me finding out I was pregnant and afterwards I told her that I wouldn't be coming back to college after the break.

  "I..I.." She's at a loss for words just like I am every time I think back at all of the terrible decisions Niall and I made.

  "I'm sorry Sydney. I seriously do wish you guys the best." Shelby finally speaks up and says.

  "Thank you, so much." I sigh and Niall comes back into the dorm after taking all of our things down.

  "You ready?" He breaks the silence between the two of us and I nod. I am ready for this new change in my life. I am ready for whatever life has in store of Niall and I. We will both conquer it all together, and make it through everything. I know we can do it.

  Shelby takes me into the tightest hug anyone has ever given me and doesn't let go. "You have my number I better see pictures and everything when the baby is born," She chuckles into my hair and I can tell she's crying.

  "Don't cry," I whisper. She nods and lets go of me wiping her face and smiling. "Well, I guess this is it. I should let you guys go now," I hug her one last time before getting up and joining Niall by the door.

  I look around my dorm for the last time and take everything in. Niall grabs my hand and squeezes it. I wave at Shelby for the last time and Niall guides me out of the room and down to the car in a comfortable silence.

 We get to his car and I take one last look at this campus that I couldn't wait to be at. I knew coming here that college was going to be one of the best times of my life, but now it has to be put on hold. 

  I meet his eyes and I can't take it anymore I bury my head into his chest and cry. I spill all of my emotions out onto his shirt and he runs his fingers through my hair knowing how hard this is for me, for the both of us.

  "Sorry," My voice cracks and Niall kisses my hair. "Lets go." We get into the car and drive away from the university that I had to say goodbye to far to soon. 

 

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