So Close Yet So Far

"With all of the struggles and everything in between, I know we can overcome it all and prove anyone that ever doubted us, wrong."

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6. ❥Killing Me To Tell You

Nialls POV

   It was 5:46 and we were loading up in the car. The entire ride to Sydney's house I was trying to figure out how I was going to word what I was going to tell her. My mum kept telling me to relax and that everything would be ok, but I knew that wasn't the case.

  I didn't even know how I was going to keep my food down. Let alone tell her in front of everyone. "Dads coming right?" I asked my mum. "Yes, he's going to meet us there."

  That gave be a bit of reassurance. My dad has always known how to calm me down in stressful situations, and this was a beyond stressful one.

  Once we pulled up in her driveway I stepped out of the car and into the rain to walk up to her front door. I stood staring at it before taking a deep breath and finally knocking. "Nialler!" Sydney happily answered the door.

  I wondered if this would be the last time, besides dinner, that I would actually see her smile. "Well come on in silly! Don't just stand out in the rain!" She giggled and let us in. "Smells nice Syd!" My dad voiced.

  "Thanks Mr. Horan, but you should be thanking my dad aka Chef Holland." She snickered. Her little jokes have always been so cute.

  "The foods hot and ready so follow me!" She lead us to the all to familiar dining room and we took a seat. I sat in front of Sydney, with my mum beside her, my dad across from my mum, and then Mr. Holland beside me.

  While everyone ate I sat picking around at my food. I got a little kick from my dad from under the table obviously signaling to stop being so rude and to just eat already. I have no clue why I was letting my nerves get to me so much.

  Maybe it was because i'm leaving my other half and i'm telling her last minute. This was eating at me, and I just couldn't hold it in anymore. I needed to let it out and that was just going to have to be right now.

  "H-hey Syd I um.. I having something to tell you," She dropped her fork and looked around at everyone with a straight face. Her eyebrows were knit together as if she was mentally saying 'what is this about?' and I couldn't have felt any worse about all of this at that moment.

  "Ok… Talk." She stated bluntly.

  "Well, you do know how i'm in One Direction and everything t-thats how we met, and I wouldn't take back that day for the life of me," She nodded and told me to continue.

  "With being i-in One Direction comes time to travel. To go on tour for about 8 months.."

  "Niall, what are you trying to tell me?!" She raised her voice the slightest bit.

  "I'm leaving Sydney. I'm leaving the country to go on tour tomorrow night. I'm leaving you, my parents, your dad, EVERYBODY!" I shouted. I don't know why I did. If anything she should be ripping my guts out right now.

  I knew I was dumb for waiting this long. I knew it. "H-how could y-you?" She said looking over at her dad in anger. "You lied to me." She scoffed then whispered.

  "Honey i'm sorry I-"

  "NO! YOU TOLD ME YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHAT THIS WAS ABOUT! YOU TOLD ME THIS WAS JUST GOING TO BE A REGULAR DINNER! YOUR A LIAR!" She screamed.

  "AND YOU," She pointed her finger at me then, "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT COMING OVER HERE AND HAVING A SIMPLE DINNER TO TELL ME THAT YOUR LEAVING TOMORROW WOULD SOLVE EVERYTHING?"

  "Syd you don't kn-"

  "Oh no, I do know Niall. I know that your a-a-a BACKSTABBING B-BITCH!" She yelled through her tears. The makeup was streaming down her face. Little droplets of tears slowly falling onto the table cloth.

  Everything felt as if it were in slow motion then. My everything had just called me a bitch, it was all my fault. I honestly don't blame her.

  "Sydney, watch your mouth." Her dad said in a stern tone.

  "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN!" She yelled sobbing. I hadn't even noticed that I was crying until I felt a tear slowly trickle down my cheek. "I think you should go talk to her." My mum said wiping away a tear for me.

  "She hates me. Why would I do that?" 

  "Sydney does not hate you son. She's just angry s'all. Now, go talk to her."

  I nodded and threw the napkin off of my lap, then slowly walked up to Sydney's room. I could hear her violently sobbing and crying from down the hallway. 'How could I do this to her? Why would I do this to her?' I asked myself the same question she'd asked me.

  I knocked twice on the door before I heard her sniff and get up to come and open it. "N-n-niall," She grabbed hold of me and sobbed into my shoulder. "Shh please don't cry baby girl."

  "Why didn't you just tell me?" She muttered while shaking her head.

  "You don't know how hard that would've been Sydney."

  "It wouldn't have been as bad as this. Now I have absolutely no time left with you! I'm such a bitch for calling you a bitch your not a bitch Niall! I'm an idiot I don't even know what I was thinking Niall!" She sobbed shaking her head in regret.

  "Hey, I understand why you did Sydney. Trust me i'm mentally slapping myself right now for doing this to you. I don't even know what I was thinking." I came as close as I could to her, and lifted her chin so that she had no other choice but to stare me in the eyes. 

  "I'm sorry for everything love." We were sat in a tight hug for countless minutes and I could've cared less because I never wanted to let her go.

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