So Close Yet So Far

"With all of the struggles and everything in between, I know we can overcome it all and prove anyone that ever doubted us, wrong."

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29. ❥Changing Plans

 Although I should have been most worried about my dad and Maura's reactions, I wasn't. I can already see my dad angry as hell and wondering where he went wrong with me even though I got pregnant by my best friend and not some random college guy, and Niall's mum crying and shaking uncontrollably. 

  Maura would eventually come around but my dad is a whole 'nother story. This was not supposed to be Niall and I's plan. We had everything sorted out for our future and now it felt as if someone had snatched that away from us and ran as fast as they could until they were no longer in sight.

  "Baby stop thinking so much. Stress is not good for you nor the baby.." He sounded awkward saying 'the baby' but that is something we are both going to have to get used to now. "What our parents think of this situation has nothing to do with how we feel. I am financially stable at the moment and we planned on getting an apartment together after your freshman year anyways." In some ways Niall was right, but in others he wasn't. 

  He was not thinking that this was my last year at college like I was. He was not thinking that while he is on tour for about 10 months I am practically going to be a 'single mother' if we do end up moving to England like he says we are. My subconscious was definitely getting the best of me now.

  Our plan was for me to finish my freshman year here and sometime during the summer transfer me to a college in London so that Niall and I could share an apartment. Yes I love Dublin University and really didn't plan on transferring just before my second year of college, but it was the best thing for Niall and I both. Not just for one of us.

  He was going to have to leave Ireland to be closer to the band and we both felt it would be best since I do have a bit of income from working and he obviously has more income from being in a band that we pack up and leave Ireland together. I myself would not be able to handle living in Ireland while he is in England that just wasn't going to work. Not only that we both felt it was time we become young adults and move out of our parents houses. 

  Niall is going on 21 and I am going on 20 what since does it make for us to continue to rely on our parents? None.

  Niall grabbed my chin and held it up so I had no other choice but to look into his eyes while he spoke, "And if we can't find a big enough apartment then we can move into a house." He says and something in me shrivels up and dies.

  A house. So many things are having to change now and I just don't think I am going to be able to keep up. But right now I have to remember not to act like a baby because it's no longer about me, it's about the one that is inside of me right now.

  "Come on let's leave now." Niall says once I don't respond to his comment on getting a house.

  We walk out of the doctors office together hand in hand, the waiting room still filled with crying babies and toddlers. 

 

*

 

  After we get transferred to the OBGYN wing of the hospital and finish up with my appointment there it is confirmed that I am pregnant.

  So much has happened in just one day and I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I am actually pregnant.

  "Can't you already see our little peanut running around calling me daddy and you mummy?" Niall looks over at me and smiles while running his thumb up and down my thigh and driving at the same time.

  "I can.." I say barely above a whisper. "I..I just can't believe I was actually pregnant instead of sick Ni. How crazy is that? That thought really hadn't even crossed my mind." I shrug.

  "Mine either. I continue to ask myself how could we.. I be so careless? It was my fault.." He takes the blame and my eyes widen.

  "Niall, do not even for a second think that this was all your fault! Are you crazy? It takes two people, drunk or not, to make a baby. Please.. don't ever say that." I frown.

  "I figured you would agree. I'm the guy and a condom should have been the first thing to cross my mind, but it wasn't." He says.

  "Stop.. just please stop," I say on the verge of tears. I don't know why though there is nothing to be sad about. My hormones are seriously crazy.

  "Hey.. hey.. don't cry." Niall pulls into the campus parking lot and runs his thumb across my cheek to wipe away the trailing tears.

  I bite the inside of my cheek to keep anymore from coming since I honestly don't feel like I should be crying right now. "When are we going to tell them?" I look up at him and say.

  "Tell who?"

  "Our parents.." By the look on his face I can tell he had totally forgotten about that part of it.

  "Oh shit.. um.. I.." He can't find the words and I don't blame him. Niall runs his fingers through his hair and sighs.

  "Christmas day." Is all he says and I freeze.

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