If Loving You Is Wrong

Carrie was born in London but moved to USA when she was 7. She seems to have a pretty good life with her mom, her best friend Em, and her boyfriend John. But one day something happens that changes everything. William, her childhood love from London has moved to the USA to look for her but he realizes she has moved on past him. Will Carrie remember William?


6. Trust Me

It felt so nice to have the hot water run down my body. It was so hot because I hadn’t turned the cold water on at all. It burned at the beginning, but I didn’t care. I needed it. I needed to wash everything away. I needed to erase all this fake pictures I had in my mind of John and Tanya. I needed to stop making scenarios of them in my head and remind myself that he was with me and not with her. That if he wanted to be with her, he would. He could leave me any moment, why cheat? He knows how bad it is, we’ve discussed it a couple of times before, not for anything in particular. Now that I think about it, he was the one who would always bring up that topic. At the beginning I assumed that maybe he thought I was cheating, but with everything that is happening right now this horrible thought of him only trying to cover up his actions appeared in my mind. I couldn’t handle this anymore. I needed to talk to him. To prove that Em and William were wrong. 

I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. I grabbed my phone from my desk and called John. “Hi, this is John” he answered after three beeps. “Um hi John, it’s me.” I said and realized my voice was cracked. “Carrie, is everything all right? You don’t sound too good” he asked me. “No. I mean yeah…I just…” I said, doubting about if I should tell him on the phone or not. I decided to tell him to come to my house; my mother was still at work so she wouldn’t disturb us. “Baby what’s wrong?” He said sounding concerned. “Do you think you could come to my house, like now?” it sounded more like an order than that a question, but I didn’t care. “Of course I can, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes. And whatever it is babe, it’s going to be ok, you listen to me.” He said. I could hear him putting down the phone, and as he was going to hung up, I thought I heard a woman’s voice say something like “Who was it?” I got really scared about this thought. What if it was Tanya he was with? Chills ran through my body and I started feeling sick and dizzy. I’m so stupid! He wasn’t with Tanya; he was probably with his mum. Why did I always have to think the worst? 

I sat on the bed, not sure of what I was going to say to John. I couldn’t say that Em confessed that she saw him and Tanya, she was my best friend and I promised her not to. Maybe I could blame William. I felt sorry for him, but he did warn me about John. And he wasn’t exactly my friend; he was just someone who I think was nice. I thought about this until I heard the bell rung. I was going to open the door, when I realized I was still in a towel, naked. I completely forgot about it. I went rushing downstairs and opened the door a little bit just to confirm it was John. “Hey babe, can I come in?” he asked as he noticed I didn’t open the door more than a few inches. “Um, yes. Just wait five seconds until I go upstairs before coming in. I um, you know, I don’t having anything on more than a towel.” I said, and my cheeks started turning bright pink. “Sure, go ahead, I’ll wait.”

 I left the door unlocked and ran upstairs to my room. I quickly grabbed a bra and some panties and put them on, and put on the first pair of shorts I could find. I was about to put on a shirt when my door swung open. “John!” I shouted trying to cover me. “I’m sorry, my mind kept telling not to do it but my manhood won” he said grinning. I blushed “not now John” “Please! You know you can’t just appear in a bra and sexy shorts and then reject me” he said grabbing me by the waist. “Oh so now it’s my fault. You weren’t supposed to see me like this” I giggled and tried to push him away, but he was much stronger than me and pulled me even closer to him. He stared into my eyes and bit his lip with a cheeky smile on his face. I suddenly felt the urge to kiss him, but I didn’t want to, it wasn’t the right time. I didn’t tell him to come over so that we could have a make out session; I called him because I needed to talk to him about something serious. He slowly pressed his lips against mine, and inevitably I kissed him back. The kiss was fast yet passionate, our tongues dancing unsynchronized. “Stop it Carrie” I kept telling myself “Don’t do this”. He pushed me against the wall and I wrapped my arms around his neck. My body wouldn’t listen to me, don’t matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop, until he started pulling down my shorts. 

“John wait!” I said, a little bit louder than I wanted to “we need to talk”. “Carrie what’s the matter baby? Did I do something wrong?” he said backing away. “Yes, I mean, no. I mean, I don’t know” I said stuttering, I grabbed a shirt and put it on, and then I turned to John. I could feel a knot in my throat, but I still managed to look strong. “John, how do you feel about me?” I asked him looking right into his eyes so that he looked at me too. “I- what do you mean baby? What’s this all abou-” he said but I cut him off. “Are you cheating on me?” I said nervously. “What!? Who told you that, Carrie, I would NEVER cheat on you.” He said walking towards me. “I-I just” I didn’t know what to say. “Where did you get this from?” he asked almost shouting and I could feel tears forming in my eyes, but I held them back. “I, I can’t” I said almost in a whisper. He grabbed my wrist and I gasped in pain, and when he realized he had hurt me he embraced me with his arms in a tight hug. “No, Carrie I am so sorry. Please, I didn’t mean to.” He patted my back in a comforting way. He sat me down on the bed and he sat next to me. “Carrie, please, tell me, who told you this?” he asked, more calmed this time “Don’t be scared babe, please tell me, I won’t be able to do anything if you don’t” “It was William” I said looking down. “He told me you were cheating on me” I said more confident this time but still looking down. “That son of a bitch” John said standing up. “Carrie you can’t believe him. I already told you, he likes you. He wants you to dump me so that he can have you” he said walking around my room nervously. “I didn’t think that he could go to these extremes to have you, what an asshole.” “I’m sorry I doubted you John, I really am.” I said taking a few steps towards him. “No, its ok babe.” he gave me a hug and I could feel his lips against my hair. “No matter what ANYONE tells you Carrie, I would never ever cheat on you. Trust me” were his last words before he left. 

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