If Loving You Is Wrong

Carrie was born in London but moved to USA when she was 7. She seems to have a pretty good life with her mom, her best friend Em, and her boyfriend John. But one day something happens that changes everything. William, her childhood love from London has moved to the USA to look for her but he realizes she has moved on past him. Will Carrie remember William?


2. Remember


I woke up the next morning, upset because of what had happened with William the day before, but also happy because I had bought the most beautiful white, pink and red short lace dress for the ball. Still, the thought of William hating me for no reason was invading my mind. I couldn’t even understand why I cared so much if I had only met him a day ago. “What’s wrong sweetie?” my mum asked noticing the concerned look in my face. I couldn’t tell her about William, I would sound too stupid so I just replied “nothing, I just realized I haven’t called John to tell him about the dress I bought yesterday” Great, worrying about that sounded even more stupid. “Anyway, can you drive me to school?” I asked. “Sure. But let’s get going because if not I’m going to be late for work” she said while grabbing the car keys from the table.

  “So, now, for real, what’s wrong?” my mum asked again. “What? I mean, I’ve already told you” I answered kinda nervous. “Oh, come on. You don’t expect me to believe the dress story right? Remember, I was sixteen once too, just like you” she insisted. “Um, it’s just that professor Druft gave us extra homework because some kid decided to play a joke on him.” I said, trying to avoid the actual reason. “Fine, we’re here. I’m sure you’ll tell me later” she said while I got out of the car “have a nice day sweetie.” So my mum knew I was lying to her, I only could hope for her to forget about it.  

I got in the building as fast as I could and went to John’s locker to tell him about my dress, but when I saw him, he was talking to that bitch of Tanya. She has made my life impossible since the very moment I entered the school. She used to mock me about my British accent, or about my hair being “too straight”, or about my clothes. She always looked for any excuse to insult me. Within time, I learned not to worry about her, at the end of the day, she was the one that would end up alone because of all her bullshit and drama. “John!” I shouted to him. He turned around and waved at me. Before I could realize, Tanya was walking towards me. “Watch your boyfriend” she whispered in my ear when she passed me. “Hey” said John trying to give me a kiss. “What were you doing talking to that whore?” I replied pushing him away. “Oh nothing, she just wanted me to give her my notes from history class” he said very confident. “Really? So why did she tell me to watch my boyfriend? And since when do you take notes in class?” I said accusingly. “Baby, don’t tell me you’re jealous. And I am actually starting to take notes this year. My parents said they wouldn’t let me go to the ball next week if I didn’t pass my history test this Thursday, and I don’t want to miss you in that beautiful dress I’m sure you bought” he said hugging me. “You’re right, I’m sorry, it’s just that I get pissed off every time I see Tanya. Oh and about the dress, it’s white, pink and red. You’ll love it” I said hugging him back. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked with me to my class.  

After school I went to the grocery store to buy some things my mother asked me to take home for dinner. Apparently we were having some guests tonight with us. When I got home I asked my mom who these guests were. “Well, remember I used to have a friend back in London. Her name was Tabitha. Well, she moved here this summer and I was so excited that I couldn’t wait to see her, so I invited her and her family over to dinner.” She said “Her family?” I asked, wondering how many people would be in my house, as I was used for it to be just me and my mum. “Yes, her husband won’t be able to come because he has to work late today, but she has a daughter that I think is thirteen, and also a son that is your age. You used to be really good friends with him back in London, I think his name was Will” she answered. Instantly, William came into my mind. “I’m going to my room to get ready” I said and I hurried up the stairs to my room. “Oh no, please tell me William Shaftwood is NOT coming to have dinner to my house.” I thought to myself “this can’t be happening to me”. But suddenly, it all started to make sense. That’s where I knew him from. Millions of memories came to my head. Playing hide and seek. On the swings. Climbing trees. Laughing so hard I would literally cry. And I also remember having a huge crush on him. I caught myself smiling at the thought of these memories. Obviously, they were good memories, but they were from over nine years ago. William probably didn’t remember any of these things. I didn’t either, until today. I went to my closet and grabbed a flowered skirt and a white shirt. Put on a nice pair of sandals and tied my hair with a blue ribbon. It was already 8 O’clock, and the Shaftwoods were going to be here at any time. I started getting nervous, so I went to my bathroom and splashed my face with cool refreshing water, when the doorbell rung. “Tabitha’s here!” my mother shouted me from downstairs. “Coming!” I shouted back. I grabbed a towel and dried my face. “Don’t worry, everything’s going to be ok” I thought to myself as I got out of the bathroom.  As I was coming down the stairs, I could see Tabitha, William and his sister already in the living room. “Oh my God you’ve grown so much!” Tabitha said while giving me a hug. “Yes, she did, and William and Emily did too. I remember them being in kindergarten.” My mom replied. I said hello to William and Emily, trying to avoid looking directly at them. I was still pretty surprised to see him, but he didn’t look surprised at all. “This night is going to be endless” I said to myself.

  We all sat down at the table, and William was in front of me. I just ate, trying to talk as less as possible and trying to concentrate on my food. I could realize that William was doing the same, because the only ones talking were my mum, Tabitha and Emily. All I could think about was that I had the most beautiful eyes in the whole world in front of me, and that I hadn’t seen them since the incident yesterday. I just needed to look at them one more time. They were just so perfect. I could hear them calling me, saying my name. “Carrie. Carrie” my mom said shaking me “are you all right?” she asked a bit concerned. “Yes, I’m fine. I just need to get some air. Excuse me” I said, then got up and went to the backyard. “What I am I thinking about, I’m with John now, and he makes me happy. I shouldn’t be thinking about my childhood crush. I shouldn’t be thinking about my childhood.” I said out loud. I don’t want to remember anything about it, but I do. Every single detail. My relationship with William. My old school. My house back in London. And the night my father died.

It was on the 5th of November. I was at home and my mum was crying. I didn’t know what was going on; all I knew was that my father wasn’t there with us. My mum kept shouting and crying at the phone, and it made me sad to see her like that. I knew something wrong was happening, so I started crying too. I woke up the next morning; my pillow was still wet from my tears. I remember we went to the police station, and that a woman told me that something bad had happened to my dad. She told me he was in a terrible car accident. That a drunk driver had lost control of his car and crushed my dad’s. And when I asked her if he was all right, she just stood there, staring at me without providing me any answer, so I started crying. I shouted at her demanding her to answer my question. But she gave it to me without saying a single word. She just stared at me, with her big brown eyes, getting into my soul and tearing every little piece of it apart. The next thing I remember I was in the hospital. No more tears to cry, no more words to be said. My mom got in the room where my father was and after a few hours, some nurses had to force her out because she didn’t want to get out. They also had to give her some pills for her to calm down, because she just wouldn’t stop crying. Then, they let me in the room she had been a few minutes before. There was a bed, and my father’s body was lying there. I just sat down next to him, and shared silence with him. I don’t know how much time I spent there with him. I fell asleep next to him really fast, because I was tired, tired of crying, tired of screaming. I was tired of being tired. I woke up in a taxi cab with my mum. “Where are we going?” I asked her. “Hush, don’t worry sweetie, everything is going to be ok. We’re going to start over.” Her voice was trembling. The taxi left us in the airport. My mum had already done our luggage. Tabitha, her husband Robin and William were there. Tabitha and Robin gave my mum a hug. I just stood there, emotionless, staring into William’s eyes, unable to say goodbye to him. “It’s time, let’s go.” My mum said, about to burst into tears again. And so I just turned around and never looked back. Never thought of that night again, of Tabitha or Robin. Never even remembered William, until I saw him again yesterday. 

“Are you ok?” I heard a voice say behind me. I turned around and William was standing there. “Of course I’m ok. And since when do you care?” I replied defensively. “Well, you’re crying, so I assume you’re not ok. And…I’ve always cared.” He answered, walking slowly towards me. “I thought you didn’t remember me.” I said. “Of course I remember you. You were my best friend. And I’m sorry for treating you the way I did yesterday, I just got upset because you didn’t remember me. But let’s forget it and start over. Hi, my name is William.” He said, reaching out his hand. “Hey. I’m Carrie” I said smiling. I shook his hand and then we went inside to finish our dinner. The evening wasn’t so bad after all. 

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