I'm Trying To Be OK

Amber has worked hard to provide a great life for her little sister, Lily. When their father experiences a painful -and unexpected- death, their mother decides to choose a different life. Therefore, Amber is given no other choice other than to begin raising 3 year old Lily by herself at the age of just 16. Now Lily is going to be 5 years old and has become a big fan of One Direction, When Amber finally sets aside enough money to score tickets to a concert, the boys become very interested to know more about them. Their lives instantly change into something better than anything they could have ever imagined. Find out what happens throughout their journey of love, trust, risks, and happiness.


13. Scared To Love

I woke up gasping for air. I'd been dreaming of Noah. He had me trapped in a dark room with only a small bright window to look out of. He would check on me from time to time to make sure I was still there. Whenever I was able to escape, I always ended up where I started. It was as if the dream went on forever, but at the same time, really fast.

I looked at Zayn, who was still sound asleep. Lily wasn't in bed anymore, but I knew she was okay because I heard her and Liam arguing in the living about princesses. I smiled a little and snuggled up with Zayn. He groaned and wrapped his arms around my body. I thought about last night. The kiss that almost turned into something more. I don't know why I did it. He probably would've been satisfied with a  quick smooch. Maybe I was feeling.. I don't know. I'm not ready for a new relationship. But, who could reject one of the hottest guys ever? It's Zayn Malik. Not to mention, he's a celebrity that millions of girls want. And he's super sweet and kind to me. He saved me from a terrible relationship that could have gotten not just me, but also my little sister killed. I knew I could trust him and rely on him as a good friend. But for now... Nothing more. I'm scared to love again, even if it is someone like him. 

"What are you thinking about gorgeous?" Zayn asked. I didn't even realize that he'd opened his eyes. He must have been staring for a while.

"Nothing... Just, I don't know. Stuff."

"Hmm? What kind of stuff? Stuff you wanna talk about?"

"Do you think last night was a mistake?" I blurted out.

"Not at all. Why? Do you?"

"Maybe a little. Only because I'm not ready for this. I literally just got out of the one of the scariest relationships imaginable. Maybe I was just vulnerable last night, and I just wanted someone to make me feel safe and... loved." 

"I completely understand. But I want you to know that you don't have to be afraid of me, Amber. I won't ever hurt you or Lily. That's why I want you to stay here for a while. I want you to feel safe. And loved. I can give you that. Maybe not now, but when you're ready."

"Thank you. For all of this." I smiled. "So we aren't exactly exclusive, just... good friends."

"Just good friends." He leaned in and kissed my top lip. "With a couple of benefits." 

"Mmmmhmmmmm." I kissed him again, then pulled away. He grinned and we got out of bed. I gave him a big hug and he lifted me off of my feet as he squeezed me tighter. I giggled and walked off to the restroom. 

I don't think I can maintain this 'Just Friends' thing... 

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