I'm Trying To Be OK

Amber has worked hard to provide a great life for her little sister, Lily. When their father experiences a painful -and unexpected- death, their mother decides to choose a different life. Therefore, Amber is given no other choice other than to begin raising 3 year old Lily by herself at the age of just 16. Now Lily is going to be 5 years old and has become a big fan of One Direction, When Amber finally sets aside enough money to score tickets to a concert, the boys become very interested to know more about them. Their lives instantly change into something better than anything they could have ever imagined. Find out what happens throughout their journey of love, trust, risks, and happiness.

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17. I'm Trying To Be OK

"You alright?" Zayn asked, and I shook my head. I stood up and went to the kitchen where he couldn't see me. I prayed that he wouldn't follow me. I took another deep breath and punched the wall, not even leaving a little scratch. Then I dropped to the floor and held my knees close to my chest. I sobbed silently for a while, facing the wall. Then squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore the pain in my fingers. The weak, scared feeling inside of me was worse. I sniffled and breathed in and out loudly, then cried some more. This time, it wasn't so silent. I felt Zayn's strong arms around me, hushing my sobs. "Hey hey hey, it's gonna be okay." He said, pulling away and looking into my eyes. "She has you now. You will give her a good life Amber. You can handle this."

"I'm trying to be ok with this Zayn! I can't! I didn't even get to live my life! I don't have any friends, I don't have a social life. I'm basically a teenage mother! I love her, I do. I really love her with all of my heart but I didn't choose this. If Mom hadn't left, I could've been so.... I could've built a future for myself! I'm only 18, and I feel like a 40 year old woman."

"If it makes you feel better... You're the sexiest 40 year old woman I've ever seen." He joked, making me smile. 

"It's not funny." elbowed him in the shoulder, giggling. 

"But you're laughing." He stood up and offered his hand. I took it and jumped to my feet. He put his hands on my hips, pulling me closer. "Amber I don't know how much longer I can keep up this friend thing." He whispered. We were like magnets. My body was being drawn to his, and once we collided, it would be hard to separate. I opened my mouth to say something, but kissed him instead. He smiled against my lips and kissed back, hard and passionate. I felt his tongue sweep against my bottom lip, then into my mouth. I moaned softly and kept it going. He moved my damp hair off of my shoulder and kissed my neck. His right hand traveled down to my butt, and I squeezed his arm.

I didn't know if this was right. I mean, I loved it, but... well, I guess it did feel right. The way our bodies sort of melted together made me literally want to melt. "Zayn." I said in his mouth. We stopped and looked into each other's eyes. My hands were on his waist and his hands were still placed on my neck and butt. 

"Yeah?" he replied quickly. I looked into his bright brown eyes. I smirked as his eyes became dark and he clenched his jaw in a sexy way. My tongue was tied.

"Never mind." I choked out. Then I jumped on him, wrapping my legs tightly around his body. I crashed my lips onto his again and put my hands up his shirt. I pulled it off and touched his chest. I couldn't help but moan as he pressed my body onto his. We kept kissing and he shuffled to his room. He was about to drop me on his bed but something stopped him.

"Shit." he mumbled, slightly laughing. I looked at the bed and saw Lily sleeping under his navy blue quilt. I told Zayn to go to the other room and he obeyed as he continued to bite my neck. We got to the guest room and tangled out bodies together on the bed. 

Oh My God. Wha... What am I doing?

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