I'm Trying To Be OK

Amber has worked hard to provide a great life for her little sister, Lily. When their father experiences a painful -and unexpected- death, their mother decides to choose a different life. Therefore, Amber is given no other choice other than to begin raising 3 year old Lily by herself at the age of just 16. Now Lily is going to be 5 years old and has become a big fan of One Direction, When Amber finally sets aside enough money to score tickets to a concert, the boys become very interested to know more about them. Their lives instantly change into something better than anything they could have ever imagined. Find out what happens throughout their journey of love, trust, risks, and happiness.

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1. Too Much To Handle

I heard his voice, "Good morning Sunshine. Time to get up for school." I saw myself as a little girl, wearing my favorite Minnie Mouse pajamas. He tickled me playfully, just like every morning, as soon as he saw my eyes open. My squeaky giggle morphed into a scream, and suddenly I heard sirens blazing in my ears. My mom crying, and machines beeping. "I love you." The vision came back of him kissing my forehead. 

"I love you, Daddy." I squeezed his neck as hard as I could, and he pretended like it hurt with a fake groan. Then everything went black and I heard the five bullets. I counted them. 1...2...3......4....5. He was dead before the fourth one even touched him. The screaming started again, this time so loud it was as if it were right next to me. Then I felt a push on my back, then another. I gasped for air as my eyes popped open, and whipped my body around to see my little sister, Lily, shrieking at the top of her lungs. Her arms and legs were swinging and kicking crazily. I removed her soft pink blanket from her flailing body and made soothing noises as I attempted to wake her up. The volume of the screams decreased and her big blue eyes opened. I picked her up and held her in my arms for a long time, then brought her into the kitchen to get her some water. She didn't say anything, just continued to breathe hard.

Looks like we both had nightmares, I thought, trying not to reveal the fear on my face. I sat her down on a stool and placed one of her little bottles of water in front of her. She sipped quietly, I could tell she wanted to cry. I bent down so that our faces met. "Come here Baby." I set the bottle down and pulled into a big hug as she cried. Her sobbing eventually turned into whimpering and she fell back into a peaceful sleep. I returned her to our bed and wrapped her little arms around her blanket.

I went outside to get the mail and read it while I assembled a bowl of cereal for myself. One envelope contained the tickets that I'd bought two weeks ago to a One Direction concert. It came with back stage passes to meet the members of the band. It was Lily's birthday present. I wanted to get her something special, and I know she loves them so I gathered enough money to order them. She barely knows their names, but she sings their songs all the time off of the album that my ex-boyfriend, Noah, got her for Christmas. Today is her 5th birthday. Five... Five Bullets. I counted them again in my head. Before the bad thoughts could begin to rush through my brain, I busied myself with washing dishes. 

When I finished, Lily woke up again as if the bad dream never happened. Her eyes were sparkling and her smile made my heart happy. I sighed and grinned at her as she wiggled her little toes. "Happy birthday baby girl." I said, and kissed her forehead.

"I'm a big girl Amber!" She giggled. 

"Guess what I got you..." Her eyes lit up and the smile returned. I got the envelope off of the counter and handed her the tickets. She jumped up and down and squealed with excitement. She began signing one of their songs cheerfully and running around our little apartment. "Be careful!" I chuckled. 

"Can I wear a pretty dress?" She asked.

"Of course you can. And I can braid your hair, and you can wear your new white sandals. How does that sound?" 

"Super good!" I watched her run off into our room to pick out a dress. 

... My father is dead. My mother left us. I was forced into adulthood at age 16. I'm working 2 part time jobs and there are bills that need to be paid. And my 'baby' sister is now 5 years old.

Its just too much to handle.

 

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