Y? hOw? waht?

things happen... i channelize those negative things trying to bury me this way.

P.S am perfectly in a good,sane state of mind and no, leave alone strange "S" talk.. the thought of it also never occured. am just too busy to narrow minded and selfish to think abt it ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ;-)


1. _____________________________


Sell 500 reliance @ rs 700 n buy 1000  @ 550$...  else wer traders shoutin on the trading floor. “hey dude wassup…. …”  “is that madass still overacting, we’ll bust his ass wide open so that no one messes wid us again…”   hey babe love ya….  Lets meet for dinner tonight….”   “ pl  cal me wen eva u want I’ll always b der to help……”  so goes on my  happening life full of people who like me and adventure being the testosterone, a life where I achieve everything I want and..just when a strange sound jolts me into the present…..

    Groping around with half open crust filled eyes, I find my iPhone and I snooze the alarm for an extra 10 minute power nap before I finally get up to live life……..
walking towards  the destination I intend to while glancing around with my pale drained eyes I see  group of people hanging around and living life by the moment, ( me checking out the girls first) poking each other, laughing over others justifying their presence…..  and that’s  when  the dream gobbles me up, just at the dawn of the day ! ! ! 
           I now stroll on with my mind staggering along with the dream till I fortuitously come across a guy whom I know K  a brief moment passes when am back to doing what I have been.   Then goes a guy who is late for his classes, brushing past me into  two random  guys walkin in the opp direction to catch upon some fun.  filled to the brim with a thought that I can only think…..     


  Walkin on questioning myself that why cant i just be a someone among everyone….  Why am I not able to fit into the crowd?  What skill set do I lack to blend into normal people.  Neither  am I special nor am I challenged…    into the thought process I dive,  head on, comparing my actions to that of what the society expects…  fuelled with the will to seek an answer with the skill I lack, One small skil which spells out satisfaction in ones self. 
 walkin on  I start thinking about attitude…  what I’ve been taught is to be good to everyone…  for all we are- the human race functioning the same way but  with a different look on the outside to mate. 

Wat I’ve been taught is always abate but never bate, alas!!! Bate is my  friend which I enjoy but till an extent altho I keep gifting the opposition  with love all through and enjoy it does.  Coming to my turn its always late by the time which I bathe in criticism… which I enjoy for a wile and then resent… I feel responsible for this too. On further retrospection  I feel   I should’ve returned a stick with a longer stick but my inbuilt guru MR.GREY  MATR,  saying no to which I bend to.  After a while I seek the longer stick but by then the opposition I’m faced with is with  a bazooka, which I still try to stand up against with wood and MR. Gray matr instilling ideas.  I then  feel that in the first instant I should’ve presented the bigger stick and then love rather than  only love which made me the odd one out….. but what can I, I’m in a fix - either  follow my philosophy like the innocent or .. or….or….   either  follow my philosophy like the innocent or… or…… or……

to be continued.


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