The Writer's Rant

There are so many things writers do to piss me off. Starting with cliches and bad humor, this is just a guide/rant to some things.

I personally do some of these things so if you want to call me stuff, all you'll get is the bird ;)

It's my first book having to do with humor and ranting but I hope to just write. I will not be advertising this because if you want to read, you will.

End of story, start reading.

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1. Part One of the Writer's Rant

If you read the description, you'll know your own happiness is at risk. I am a full time pessimist so I have a lot of things people do to piss me off. I actually do some of these things, but I have nothing to do with my time so here is my rant....

1. Author's Fantasies...

I mean come on! In the Mortal Instruments (which is actually not too bad of a book) and Twilight (which is just obvious) the authors use themselves in the story. I know authors leave a piece of themselves in their stories, but does that mean you should make fantasies where the 'story word' revolves around you?

In the Mortal Instruments, Clary (obviously the author) is so magical race while falling in love with an oh-so-hot guy. I don't really agree with this.

In Twilight... Do I really have to explain? Bella is a freaking failure with all the cards in her favor. Does that even make sense? Should that even be a world??

And it isn't just published authors. Some Movellas authors use their own names in their stories. You have to give the published authors a smidge of credit... They don't use their real names, maybe inversions, but not their name.

It bugs me so much when authors use their names in Justin Bieber FanFics or 1D FanFics because it's a bit pathetic. Their s fangirling and then being creepy. It's like you write a story about you getting married to 1D, how is that NOT creepy??

 

2. Hair Colors...

Most people will start laughing at this point, but I'm completely serious.

Why is it that some stories brand people by their freaking hair colors?! I think that is completely offensive, especially since it isn't true at all!

The main character doesn't usually specify a hair color. At least it isn't like every main chracter is a brunette, thank god for that! Bella Swan is a brunette (Twilight) Tris Prior is a blonde (Divergent) Clary Fray is a redhead (The Mortal Instruments) and black hair? Harry Potter (I'm not 100% sure about this, but I think he has black hair...)

It's more about blondes being the head barbie witch in every school and the one to always start up the drama. Not true! To clarify now, I'm NOT a blonde so if I'm touchy about the subject, it doesn't mean I AM actually blonde.

I have a blue streak in my hair! Ever read a story where the main character has that?? No, I'm just original. Actually, I wanted to stand out in my boring school, but still! A character with green hair and purple eyebrows?

Moving on...

 

3. Self Confidence...

After dealing with a lot of body image problems, my mind decided to say 'screw it.' I stopped caring about people's jabs and remarks which is doing me so much good! I'm not the prettiest person, but you think I care? No, I stopped caring when I realized there were more things to life than just a body and face.

And that's why I wish characters were like that. But no! The characters in most Teen Fiction is about a girl with seemingly good self esteem when in reality she's questioning why a guy likes her. It's the whole, 'why do you like me? You could do so much better! I'm not pretty,' convo. I mean, YAWN!!

Funny thought: Who would scream yawn. I have a very messed up brain...

Back to the topic...

It annoys me so much and I can't help but feel a little bit bad that the character is such a sad person about their image. I mean, I'm 12 and if you already feel bad about yourself at my age, just imagine yourself at 17.

It makes me wonder if the character is just like that, or is it also the author? Because if it is, I feel sorry for you as a person.

 

4. Bad Humor...

Once my friend wrote a story. (It isn't here, so I can mention it. And because I love her, I won't mention her name...)

Her story was in dire need of editing and revising. It wasn't necessarily a bad story, but it had really bad humor. Said friend has a really weird sense of humor that makes you cringe rather than laugh. It isn't dirty humor, just REALLY bad puns...

The one she used on her story was this...

'I used to be weak, but now I'm as buff as a buffalo.'

It's like, crickets chirping and then someone shakes their head, and walks away. I tried to tell my cousin that but she started laughing, believe it or not. So that just proves bad humor can cause people to laugh, just because it's so bad.

 

5. Misinformation

When  an author is just too bloody lazy to look things up it makes you want to pull your hair out. I'm a pianist (no, not a male's groin parts... Don't ask, people used to make fun of me.) When I read a music related story they called a *chromatic scale, a *parallel motion scale. It just doesn't work and it makes you want to pull your hair out!

Imagine you're a dancer and they mix up two of the moves. Doesn't it just make you angry? So you lazy authors that have misinformation, please fix it. I once had to look up the mechanics for bungee jumping just because it was in a scene of my book. It was one page, but I thought it would be better if I had the right info.

There's also that fact vs. opinion thing. Some people believe one thing while the truth is another. That bothers me too. People have opinions, but they shouldn't let their biases get in the way of their story writing.

I actually read a thing on Obama on another writing website and the person that wrote it, didn't like Obama, or at least that was what I was getting. I'm not old enough to vote and I'm Canadian so I don't really have an opinion.

But my main point is that there's fact vs. opinion and readers don't usually like reading things that are either wrong or something they don't believe in so just be warned.

 

That's it.

It's probably going to be updated on occasion because it's just a side project. It was fun and I write it without any planning! Thanks for reading... I guess.

Remember, haters make me laugh. :P

 

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