Balancing Deviance: Land of Confusion

The first thing i say is "Think wizard of Oz... Okay it's nothing like that"

Balancing Deviance is the story where 19 year old Baz Campbell finds himself thrown into a fantasy world for no reason whatsoever after a car crash that he believes killed his friend Mary.

If that wasn't bad enough he is immediately accused of stealing a great magical & of course mysterious artefact punishable by death. So on the run Baz meets new friends to help derail his very often silly journey to get home.

Is Baz really in another world maybe dead, crazy, hallucinating or just plain old dreaming as he explores this new world where myth and fantasy isn't quite what he didn't read about in books & almost every question could be answered with magic.

This story is written in a script format, so be warned but it just means you will have you to use your imagination just a little bit more.

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4. Mary Part 1

FADE IN:

INT. MINES - MORNING

 

In the DARK mine-shafts BAZ, TANYA and an ogre called PUNTZ stroll with torches, pick axes and a map, Baz has a cannery caged.

 

PUNTZ

Znub ova ere.

 

BAZ

I have a name.

 

Baz goes over to Puntz who holds the map.

 

PUNTZ

Zhut ya yap znub, fis iz da plan,

ya and kitty ceck all fose zaftz ova fere.

 

BAZ

And?

 

PUNTZ

If ya zee a dwarf kill it!

 

Puntz snatches the bird cage from Baz and heads back.  Baz’s belly rumbles disappointed.

 

BAZ

What about lunch?

 

TANYA

The bird isn’t lunch.  It’s meant

to detect any poisonous gasses.

 

BAZ

What by singing?

 

TANYA

By dying first *sigh* I guess

there will be no smoking either.   

 

They continue to walk further down into the shafts.

 

BAZ

Don’t remind me -- I can’t believe

there’s still no way out that

doesn't lead back into the city.

 

Baz WHACKS a rock with his pick axe like he’s playing golf.

 

TANYA

We’ve just got to keep on searching,

we’ll be lucky if we don’t bump into any dwarfs.

 

BAZ

4 days here, this sucks, where’s my yellow brick road huh?

  How’d I even get back home? For all I know I could

be inside a book -- The never ending mother fucking story!

 

TANYA

Hey, this was your fantastic idea!

So don’t take it all out on me!

 

BAZ

My idea?  That’s a laugh, it wasn’t

my idea to be sucked into this god

forsaken world, wasn’t my idea to be

accused of a crime punishable by death!

 

Baz sits on a rock holding his head. Tanya does the same resting against his back.

 

TANYA

Okay I get it I’m sorry,

it hasn't been easy for me either.

 

BAZ

I know, I caused it.

 

TANYA

You did what you needed to.

 

BAZ

It’s not just that which is

bugging me its -- Mary.

 

TANYA

Who’s Mary?

 

BAZ

She was with me in the crash but she didn’t

appear with me here & there is nothing about

her in the papers about the castle exploding.

 

TANYA

Trust me never believe anything

you read in those stupid papers.

 

BAZ

I think she died in that crash.

 

TANYA

You don’t know that & why have

you only decided to mention her all

of a sudden, ain’t she important?

 

BAZ

First I thought this was just a dream

but now after being stuck here for days.

 

TANYA

Baz you were being shot at, you can’t really

blame your self for choosing not to explode.

 

BAZ

I don’t know maybe we

shouldn’t have left the city?

 

TANYA

Do you want to go back to the

surface to try & find her?

 

BAZ

Can we really risk it?  

 

TANYA

You know if she’s your girl then

you have to go & look for her.

 

BAZ

Well, me & her-- its complicated.

 

Baz scratches his head as if he’s trying to remember.

 

TANYA

What’s the problem, this is a no brainer.

  You can’t just accept her death without

knowing-- are you even listening to me?

 

BAZ

You know what I think I want

to be left alone for a bit.

 

TANYA

If you’re sure then I’ll scout on ahead

but if you need to talk then, you know.

 

She walks off worried, Baz just sits there thinking before switching off the torch to be left alone in the darkness.

 

BAZ

Am I responsible?

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

INT. MINE'S BAR - NIGHT

 

The Bar is packed full of wasted Ogres and if they’re not drinking then they’re fighting.  Baz & Tanya arrive.  They are so used to the chaos that they pass through with ease to the bar despite being gloomy.  Puntz stops Baz.

 

PUNTZ

Find anyfin?

 

BAZ

Yea ten.

(To Barman)

 Gimmie something strong.

 

TANYA

Me too.

 

Their beer is served.

 

BAZ/TANYA

Cheers.

 

They look for a table to find a bloodied & clothes torn CONRAD chained to the wall, Ogres take turns beating him.

 

BAZ

Well I can’t believe he’s still alive.

 

TANYA

If he died it wouldn’t be any fun

for them, he deserves to suffer.

 

Baz sees the anger in her eyes when glaring at the hunter and Conrad’s eyes are fixed to hers.

 

BAZ

Point taken.

 

Tanya thinks briefly and walks up to Conrad the Ogres step back amused.  With a vicious roar she punches Conrad square in the stomach making him vomit blood.

 

CONRAD

*chuckles* You took your time &

you wouldn’t believe what these guys

have been saying about you?

 

That remark pisses her off even more as she knees him in the balls.  Conrad goes limp & the Ogres go silent as if that was uncalled for.  In the silence Puntz holds Conrad’s gauntlet accidently activating the grappling hook impaling a Ogre in the head breaking the silence with laughter.  Tanya sits down with a scared Baz who carefully slides her beer closer to her without making any sudden movements. 

 

BAZ

Okay, I’m sure he deserved it?

 

TANYA

You know what I don’t get?

 

BAZ

Where are all the female Ogres?

 

TANYA

Why do they have us searching through the mine shafts?

  You’d think they should already know what’s down them,

since they were the ones who dug them up right?

 

BAZ

I guess the dwarfs dug them but where are they?

Are they an ancient civilisation or something?

 

TANYA

Do you ever stop asking questions? 

I don’t know okay just because you’re in my world

doesn’t mean I know the answers to everything?

 

BAZ

What’s two plus two?

 

TANYA

Shut up.

 

BAZ

No honestly I’ve got this funny feeling here its--

 

TANYA

Four.

 

BAZ

I guessed wrong.

 

TANYA

*laughs* you are weird.

 

BAZ

Hmph, that’s something Mary would’ve said.

 

Feeling down as he is, Tanya doesn’t want to ruin the mood as she raises her pint.

 

TANYA

To Mary then.

 

BAZ

To Mary.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

MONTAGE:

Baz and Tanya are drinking and laughing as they down shots & play drinking games.  Baz has run out of smokes again as Tanya puffs away giving him the finger as he stares with hate but much to his surprise she gives him one anyway.

Baz brings more booze; the table fills up with empty pints. Tanya burps embarrassed as she laughs toppling over.  Tanya tries to balance playing cards into a pyramid but they all fall down.  Baz looking guilty points to an Ogre.  Tanya then proceeds to punish the Ogre with a HEADLOCK.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

Exhausted and happily wasted they finish their FORTRESS of empty pint glasses.  The bar is now quiet as everyone else has either passed out or has been knocked out or killed.

 

BAZ

You know what I’m starting to wonder if

other fantasy creatures exist here, I mean

there’s Ogres, elves, dwarfs & whatever you are.

 

TANYA

You’re saying I don’t exist?

 

BAZ

No, no don’t take it like that, I mean back

home Ogres & elves only existed in books--

Hey what about Vampires and Werewolves?

 

TANYA

Never heard of them.

 

BAZ

Werewolves then!?!  You’re like one-ish.

 

TANYA

I’ve heard of wolves but not that.

What does the “were” mean?

 

BAZ

Maybe it means to wear a wolf?

 

TANYA

Kinda like a Selkie?

 

BAZ

I guess, if I knew what that was

but what about you, does it hurt?

 

TANYA

Does what?

 

BAZ

When you change into a Cat and back again,

I mean if all my bones and muscles are

shrinking and growing instantly,

I would think that would be quite painful.

 

TANYA

A little but it was more painful when I was

younger but the tail and ears always want

to stay out it’s like my body prefers to

stay in the middle of the two forms.

 

BAZ

Were you born with it?

 

TANYA

I don’t know, it all started around

about seven years ago.

 

BAZ

Freaky, bet that wasn’t fun.

 

TANYA

For a long time I’ve thought I was cursed,

I just don’t know anymore.

 

BAZ

What about your parents?

 

TANYA

Don’t have any, next question.

 

BAZ

You mean you’ve never met

another one like you?

 

TANYA

No.

 

BAZ

What about if you bite someone?

Do they become like you?

 

TANYA

Excuse me?

 

BAZ

Um stupid question.

 

TANYA

Look Baz, I know you’re interested & you want

to get to know me unlike the millions of humans

& elves up top -- Which I really do appreciate

but I just don’t really like talking about my self.

 

BAZ

You hate your self don’t you?

 

TANYA

What no!?!  It’s everyone else who has the problem,

I'm just trying to survive that's all.

 

BAZ

Even though I don’t think you should do but

you’re a walking cliché, of course you want to be

human, you said it your self you just want to be left

alone as life would be easier if people thought you

were human, that was what you was trying to

do before wasn’t it fit in, be human?

 

She cracks the pint glass frustrated that he has point.

 

TANYA

Well if I was human I wouldn’t have left my

girlfriend in the middle of an explosion

& forget her entire existence for days!

 

Baz is silenced & feeling worse for himself as he stands up staggering, Tanya realises she’s gone too far.

 

TANYA

Baz, I didn’t mean that, I know

you were confused on what was--

 

BAZ

Save it -- I’m gonna get wasted.

 

Baz walks away stumbling leaving Tanya holding her head.

 

TANYA

Baz, I’m sorry.

 

As Baz leaves grabbing a bottle of whiskey he passes Conrad who is still chained & hung to the wall listening to their conversation, she immediately frowns at him as he smirks.

 

CONRAD

I didn’t know deviants could be so vicious

*chuckles* ya know between you & I,

I’m sure he’s gonna go to the surface &

face that army drunk looking for poor Mary.

 

TANYA

Pfft, Baz ain’t that stupid -- Oh shit he is!

 

Tanya storms off only to fall over drunk.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

INT. CITY STREETS - NIGHT

 

Passing through the dim lit alleyway Baz & MARY are drunk trying to find the public toilets but they get lost as they wipe their mouths covered in alcohol head to toe.

 

BAZ

I’ve got it all over me *laughs*

 

MARY

Me too *laughs* Found it yet?

 

BAZ

I fink we took a wong turn.

 

MARY

But I need to pee.

 

BAZ

Juzt go other fere.

 

MARY

No way, you’ll look.

 

BAZ

*chuckles* And?

 

Mary pushes him away but he still keeps coming back.

 

MARY

You go other there arund de corna! -- And no peepin!

 

BAZ

Wut aboat a kizz firzt?

 

Baz kisses her sweetly as she replies to his lips but she eventually starts to playfully hit him away.

 

MARY

Go, go befur I wee over ya!

 

BAZ

Just Stay where I can find ya.

 

MARY

Go already, ya hansom meat of man --

You sure know how to show a girl a night on the town.

 

BAZ

As always *laughs*

 

Baz wonders further down into the DARKNESS not knowing where he is, finding a quiet spot to unleash his fluid.

 

BAZ

Ahhhh--

 

MARY

Are you dun yet?  I’m cumming.

 

BAZ

*chuckles* I bet you are.

 

Eyes closed Baz feels a WARMTH holding onto him from behind caressing him that he enjoys & easily mistakes it for Mary till he sees something strange blinding him with light.

 

BAZ

Wat fe fook!

 

Startled he slips in his own piss as he tries to adjust to the brightness to realise he was hallucinating & that he is back in the mines yet what was holding him was quite real.  He is stunned to see a humanoid creature made up of glowing golden crystals sporting wings leaving him more confused.

 

BAZ

Mary?

 

He watches the creature quickly melt away & pass through the wall taking no notice of him while dancing.

 

OGRE

I zaw it come fis way!

 

Baz only getting some footing is immediately bashed down by the Ogres chasing it as it escapes through its self made passage way. 

 

OGRE

Were did it go?  Oi did you zee an exotic run by?

 

BAZ

Wuh, Bambi?

 

Baz shrugs as the Ogres run off, leaving him to pass out.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

INT. MINE'S CORRIDOR - NIGHT

 

Tanya sniffs out Baz finding him passed out on the ground in his own piss.  She is relieved that he didn’t do anything stupid as she goes to pick him up.

 

TANYA

I know I say this a lot but you better not forget this.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. MINE'S SLEEPING QUARTERS - NIGHT

 

Baz is barely conscious as he moans while being held up by Tanya, she throws him on the double bed and looks at the barren room for her own bed.

 

BAZ

Bambi, no?

 

TANYA

Now who’s Bambi?  Wait, where’s my bed --

Oh I think I just remembered what fornicating means.

 

Baz throws up and in exchange she lets go a big sigh.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

INT. MINE'S SLEEPING QUARTERS - MORNING

 

Baz is moaning and groaning with a HANGOVER holding his head, Tanya wakes up sat on a chair from a restless night.

 

TANYA

Welcome back to the living.

 

BAZ

I’m thirsty, where’s the booze.

 

TANYA

Oh no, you’ve had plenty of that.  You stay in bed,

I’ll get Forna to bring you some breakfast.

 

BAZ

What about our shift?

 

Baz still tries to get out of Bed but she shoves him back down before heading for the door but hangs back briefly.

 

TANYA

Let me take care of that, you stay put --

Oh I’m still sorry for la--

 

BAZ

Forget it.

 

Tanya takes her cue to leave him be but wants to make up for her mistake.

 

DISSOLVE TO:

 

INT. MINE'S BAR - MORNING

 

An Ogre patches Conrad up for yet another day of beatings, Tanya steps forward worrying the Ogre.

 

TANYA

Why don’t you lot get lost,

I want to beat something else out of him.

 

OGRE

Wuteva ya zay, princezz.

 

The Ogre leaves. Conrad is amused again by her fiery sight.

 

CONRAD

Now, what kind of amusement can I do for you

or have you finally concluded that I’ve searched

the castle ruins before making my pursuit & that its

information about Mary that you are after?

*chuckles*  Yes I do have ears but not as flashy as yours.

 

She grabs his hair & rams his head into the wall. 

 

TANYA

Days of this without any pleading for mercy,

what makes you think that I would believe

a word that you have to say?

 

CONRAD

Because I don’t intend on staying here forever

& you’re the only one who I can barter with --

You’re choice.

 

TANYA

He doesn’t have the key you know.

 

CONRAD

He’s still under investigation, whether you

believe him or not are non of my concern but like

the old saying goes, anything is possible.

 

TANYA

So, you’re freedom for information about Mary.

 

CONRAD

And as a sign of goodwill I won’t let any harm

happen to you or Baz till my investigation

is complete -- Hunter’s honour.

 

Conrad tries to reach his with strained hand for a handshake as Tanya thinks long & hard.

 

CUT TO:

 

INT. MINES SLEEPING QUARTERS - AFTERNOON

 

Baz is furious at Tanya as he paces the room laughing.

 

BAZ

This is the best plan yet!?!

 

TANYA

You’ve seen the Ogres play poker & you

keep on saying you could take them on.

 

BAZ

Yea but this isn’t James bond & if it is then I

definitely missed the one where they bet

over a crazed hunter’s life for secret

documents on a dead person!

 

TANYA

Can you quit talking nonsense & be a man,

I’m doing this all for you!

 

BAZ

I am being a man, I’ve got rational

thought processing working here!

 

TANYA

Don’t you care about Mary!?!

 

BAZ

She’s dead – Get it & we will too if we let him free!

 

TANYA

I don’t buy it.

 

BAZ

Why not!?!

 

TANYA

A-a woman’s intuition.

 

BAZ

Oh, this will be good.

 

TANYA

Conrad knows things & he says he knows me,

I saw it in his eyes.

 

BAZ

What does that even mean --

We can trust him now, is that it!?!  

You’ve never even met the guy!

 

TANYA

He’s one of these code loving hunters,

if I could dare even say it - A good guy.

 

BAZ

Oh that’s rich.

 

TANYA

He could prove your innocence.

 

BAZ

Yea and what about you?

 

Tanya turns her back to Baz.

 

TANYA

I’ll disappear, like always.

 

Baz badly wants to punch the wall but re-frames from so & calms down.

 

BAZ

Even though I don’t quite get it as always but

I understand, you want to know more about your self.

 

TANYA

He can help us Baz & hopefully Mary as well.

 

BAZ

Okay, when do we do this?

 

TANYA

Tomorrow night when the top three

Ogres play for their big game.

 

 DISSOLVE TO:

 

TO BE CONTINUED.

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