My Dark Heart

"My heart is heavy with all that has become, I can't see how I could cast aside all I held dear... It's almost as if he was never there, not even alive... But then, he isnt..."

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7. Contact.

Lots of questions circled my brain, and it hurt to concentrate. My lessons slipped by without too much hassle, but I paid no attention to them. The proffesors bored me, the teachers droaned on and on and the students. They weren't even alive. Well most weren't. I'd catch a glimpse of Alex from time to time, but it didn't really help me. The brief moment we'd shared just made everything awkward between us. And I was always reminded of Will, in the rain. Where had he gone? Probably back into the shadows. Why had he left me? I'm still unsure of that one. Am I answering my own questions? Yes.

Lunchtimes would pass the same day, I mean, night by night. It was getting far too systamatic for my liking. I'd grab a sandwhich of some kind, never anything too filling, sit with Sades, Connor and unfortunately, Ella. Connor and Ella would make out in an obscure way and me and Sades would try not to look, seen as the couple would make us gip from time to time. We'd make fun of them, when Ella was up for laughs. Which is a rare occasion at that. Today I didn't eat. I just stared at the limp bread pieces and picked at the ham. I happened to look up, only to want to look away. But for some strange reason I found myself staring. This wasn't good! Instead of seeing Ella and Connor. I saw me.. And Alex... In the blood room... I blinked and looked down. "What'ca looking at?" Ella must have caught me. Shit. I continued to look down.

"Just leave her baby." Connor. Saving my hind once again from his overly attatched girlfriend.

"Hmp. She's only jealous because it's the only action she's ever gunna get." I heard Sades chuckle and Connor too for that matter. Sades masked it with a cough when I sent a death stare her way. "Well that's a load of lies." Will, I mean Felix (this is confusing) came up to the table. His low monotone voice seemed so placid I just wanted to make him happy and playful again. But what the hell was he doing here? In public?! And saying things about me! Everyone went silent at Will/Felix's words. So he continued. I felt like blocking my ears. "It just so happens, that she has kissed someone. Interesting, isn't it?" Even with a question his voice didn't raise much. Much. There was still something there. He motioned for Sades to shuffle up and she did without a single word. He sat in his crippled up fashion and stared at me with his beautiful eyes. He bit his lip and stared eerily. "You?" Ella turned her bitchmode on. Will/Felix looked up at her and I followed, grateful for the release of his gaze. We spoke in sinc;

"No!"

"Yes."

Will/ Felix smiled. His face lit up and it was one of the cutest things I'd seen my entire life. I looked ar him with disgust. "No! Don't even lie... Felix!" It took me a seconds pause to get the name right. His brow furrowed and he looked hurt. "Would you d'rather me lie to them Raven?" It was all an act. A very convincing act. "We need, to talk." He smiled.

"Sure beautiful, let's talk." He winked at me and I felt my fury boiling. What gives him the right to do this?He slipped out and dug his hands in his pockets, slumping away. I clambered over Sades. "Sorry, I'll sort him out." Sades nodded, slightly worried. I could hear Ella's bitchy whinning in the background.

"HAHA, sort him out? The creep, looks like he's on something! Did you see the way he sat? Aha!-" I turned round and slapped her in the face. Will was my friend. He'd said so. "If you make fun of others, they'll end up making fun of you." I said it low and quiet, as many pairs of eyes were now on me. The slap echoed around the room, making everyone turn towards the comotion. My hand burned and Ella's stunned face was reddening. I balled my hand into a fist and marched out. Thanks Will. Thanks alot.

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