Fault and blame

Spoilt fifteen year old Maddy lives the perfect life. Perfect looks. Perfect family. And, perfect boyfriend. But when rumours are spread as they are in high school, and she is accused of cheating, she feels like the whole world is falling apart! Will she convince them that it wasn't her fault, or will her boyfriend, Kyle, fall for someone else? ***

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2. school

I woke up to my phone’s alarm drilling into my ears. I moaned and shoved the pillow over my head. “Aargh, stop it!” I screamed at my phone as if it could hear me. Realising that it would not stop by itself, I reluctantly raised my head out from under the pillow and slammed my finger down on the snooze button. Despite a great ringing in my head, I rolled out of bed and half asleep, dawdled to my en suite to take a shower.

The hot, steamy water pounding onto my skin and slipping down my body felt so good after just waking up- but then it kinda stung my back for some reason. I couldn’t remember why. After a couple of minutes I turned the handle and the water stopped immediately, got myself into a towel and blow dried my hair. I then: Shaved my legs, put on some tanning moisturiser, used deodorant, got dressed, did my hair, make-up, and finally brushed my teeth. I looked at my Chanel watch. It had taken just over two hours to get ready- nearly a record! Well, you don’t just wake up looking beautiful!

I packed my school bag, forgot about the homework I still hadn’t touched though it was due in today and skipped down the stairs like it was any other day.  Before my parents could say anything, I rushed out the door and made my way to school, without breakfast. That was part of the routine- I would only have breakfast every other day, to ensure my stomach stayed flat and there was a gap between my thighs. I wasn’t the only one though; quite a few girls at school would do that in order to stay skinny. Like my sister.

My older sister…isn’t with us anymore. I guess she took the ‘dieting’ too seriously. She was so obsessed with staying skinny, that she starved herself, to death. She hated the way she looked. She hated everything about it. She didn’t see herself like others did, she saw herself as ugly, and fat. My parents tried to stop her, but it was no use.

 Sometimes I worry that I am following in her footsteps; that maybe my little habit will grow into anorexia, like hers did. But it’s too painful thinking about it. After she died, something changed in me. I became vain, and selfish, and only cared about myself. She was my best friend. I loved her so much, more than anyone in the world. I still do. But now she’s gone, and there is nothing I can do about it. Taken by anorexia. At only seventeen.

***

I thought about that- about my sister while walking down the street to school. Tears welled up in my eyes- but I couldn’t let them fall. It would spoil my make-up. I pushed those thoughts aside, and decided to check my phone. I gasped.

Before then, I had completely forgotten about last night! It all suddenly flooded back to me as I read through all of the new texts. What? This didn’t make sense. Everybody was saying that I cheated on Kyle last night at the party! I scrolled through the messages and found one that had a video attached; this one was from Sophie, one of the girls in the group that were following Kyle around last night. I watched it. It seemed to be a couple kissing in the dark. I brought my head closer to the screen so I could see it better.

Oh no, it was me and James! I scowled. That bitch must have sent that video all around school! That’s why everyone thinks I cheated on Kyle, and must have been why James had looked away- to see her filming, that enabled me to get away! I was just about to send a rude reply when the sound of a car horn filled my ears. My eyes widened and I jumped back just as a car rushed past me.

I stepped back onto the pavement and picked up my phone that I had dropped in the terror of nearly getting run over, examining its cover. It had a speck of dirt on it. I had to get another one. I looked over to the silver Mercedes that had nearly killed me, as someone inside it opened the window and gave me the finger. I shook my head in disgust, then swore back at them and waited till it was safe to cross the road.

By the time I got to school, it was exactly 8:30. I got into class just before the teacher, and sat down at my desk- which just happened to be next to Sophie- the girl who had sent the video all around school, and probably Facebook as well, but I didn’t have time to check now. I dumped my bag on the floor beside me and got out my phone to reply to all the texts.

Mrs Jenner fake coughed in her sickly sweet high pitch voice. I rolled my eyes and stood up with everyone else while mumbling ‘Good morning Mrs Jenner’, then slumped back in my seat. For the whole time, all I could hear was whispers with my name in it. I glared at Sophie and mouthed something ugly. The second word was ‘You’.

***

I couldn’t concentrate in class; I kept on getting new text messages, then obviously having to reply, and could still hear it vibrating even though it was on silent. Luckily there was nothing to write or answer in the lesson, so I just carried on texting- explaining what happened 100 times over. There were no texts from Kyle. Maybe he hasn’t heard it yet? But no- that’s dead unrealistic. He must have, the whole school is talking about it. And if he hasn’t yet- I’m sure Sophie would be extremely willing to explain it as soon as lessons end.

Tapping my fingers on the desk impatiently, I waited for the lesson to end. The stupid Mrs Jenner had confiscated my phone until break- which was exactly 3 minutes and 20 seconds away. I glanced around the room, to find that everyone was still staring at me. At least now I’m not the only one who’ll get bad grades.

3 minutes. I looked over my shoulder to where Sophie was sitting. She flashed me an evil grin then flicked her chocolate brown hair and got back to texting. Ooh, how I hated that girl! It didn’t help that I was jealous of her also. Unfortunately, she was beautiful. Although I liked how I looked- it was just my nose that bothered me. It was fine before that psycho James mashed it all up. She was also one of the ‘populars’ as well as me, but I didn’t want to share the attention. I wanted it for myself- not her.

I gazed enviously at her phone. It was the upgraded version of mine, wasn’t even available to most people now but she only got it just because her Dad owned the company. Another reason to be jealous. She was very, very rich. Obviously Mrs Jenner had only caught me with my phone because I was in the middle of a brilliant comeback to what Sophie had sent me just a second before. I pulled a face at the back of her head then got back to tapping the desk.

***

Just as I was about to go up and demand back my phone- RING! I jumped up out of my seat and grabbed my bag before rushing to Mrs Jenner’s desk with my palm waiting in the air. She looked at me- hesitated- then opened her ‘special’ drawer and retrieved my phone. I reached out my hand to take it from her, but she held it back.

“What do you say…?” She asked in a patronizing tone.

“I want my phone back” I replied simply.

Mrs Jenner glared at me; her eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets!

I rolled my eyes at her. “Please.”

She handed over the phone and shook her head as if she was disappointed. Oh well! I turned it on and made my way to my locker to put my bag back. Finishing my comeback to Sophie, I reached the locker and was going to put my bag in, when Kyle blocked my way. I sighed.

“Maddy, you dirty slut! Obviously just one person is not good enough for you.” He shook his head, which looked ready to explode at any moment. So, he had heard. However much I was used to being called that behind my back, to my face, I have to admit it hurt. Tears sprung to my eyes, but no way was I going to let them fall.

“No, really- it wasn’t me who did it! I did nothing; he just came up to me. I didn’t like it- it was horrible. You know how much I hate James anyway- after what he did in year 8!” I exclaimed desperately. I was not going to lose this battle. I needed him to believe me.

“Then why were you kissing him?”

“It wasn’t me- he was forcing me! Oh come on, you’ve gotta believe me!” I begged.

“Yeah, right! It’s over.” Kyle started walking away from me.

“But, it wasn’t my fault!” I shouted back to him.

***

I noticed there was a little crowd forming around us. “F*** off!” I said, and eventually they all drifted away- obviously after more whispers and bad looks. I stuffed my bag in my locker, banged it shut and headed to the toilets to get some privacy.

Locking myself in a toilet stall, I cried. And cried. And cried. I knew I must look a total mess- but for the first time, I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything, or anyone.  My phone kept on vibrating- but I just ignored it. In the end I turned it off because it was so irritating, and knowing exactly what the texts were going to say. ‘U cheated on Kyle!’ ‘Hah you and Kyle broke up!’ or ‘Saw the video! I didn’t know you still had a thing for James!’

When I had emptied all my tears and had nothing left to cry- I pulled out a marker pen from my pocket and took off the lid. Realising this was one of the toilets I had decorated already with hearts- in the middle saying ‘Kyle + Maddy 4ever’- without hesitation I scribbled all over them. My face a mask of anger while doing so.

Feeling satisfied with what I had achieved, I threw the pen on the floor because I had used all the ink, and hearing the bell for end of break, walked out and made my way to my next class. Everyone was staring at me and I remembered I must look terrible. Not having time to check in the mirror- I probably had black streaks running down my face, my cheeks would be puffy and my eyes would be red and sore. But then again- I didn’t care and couldn’t be bothered to redo my make-up. Taking no notice of anyone else, I just walked into class and went to sit down in my usual place.

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