Fault and blame

Spoilt fifteen year old Maddy lives the perfect life. Perfect looks. Perfect family. And, perfect boyfriend. But when rumours are spread as they are in high school, and she is accused of cheating, she feels like the whole world is falling apart! Will she convince them that it wasn't her fault, or will her boyfriend, Kyle, fall for someone else? ***

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4. ryan

I walked back into my bedroom and sat down by my desk. Sighing, I opened the lid of my laptop, and waited a couple of seconds for it to load up, then typed in my password and logged into Facebook. Just to delete all the nasty comments probably posted onto my page. I was right. There were loads of comments, and yes, nasty ones as well. But some of them were from yesterday. One by one, I skimmed through the messages, let out a sob, and deleted them. All except one.

This one was from Ryan- an old friend of mine. We had known each other since primary school, where we had been best friends all the way through. But by the time we were 11 or 12 and started senior school, we started to go our separate ways. I had kinda lost touch with him, we rarely spoke, but when we did he was always nice and kind to me- unlike most others. I smiled as I read through his message.

Ryan, Today, 16.42

Don’t listen to the others- they obviously have no feelings and no heart to say things like that. Some people just don’t realise how much one simple comment can hurt someone so badly. And if this makes any difference- I saw when it happened, and I understand how it could be misinterpreted with the video but really I think you did nothing wrong. You were ‘unfairly accused’. It’s none of their business, and none of my business either- but I am just trying to make a point. When you feel like there is no-one there, no-one who cares, no-one who loves you, there is always one. You’ve just got to find them. x

***

I could barely breathe. Ryan loves me? Is that what he’s saying? Or… am I getting it completely wrong? Even if he did love me- did I love him back? What about Kyle? I shook my head. We were over. Kyle had made it very clear.

The message was only written a couple of minutes ago so Ryan must still be online! I checked on my contact list, and yes, he was. I bit my lip in concentration, trying to think what to say to him. I had to say something. Should I say ‘You didn’t need to do that’, or ‘Really?’, or maybe even just ‘Thank you’? Stressing, I started typing them out and testing them to see what they looked like. It suddenly occurred to me- why did I really care?

I then typed in ‘I like you’. Obviously I wasn’t going to say it- but I was just testing out. ‘I love you’.  Somehow, that just seemed right. I heard my Mum call me from downstairs, and as I was standing up I must have brushed the keyboard.

“SHIT!”

I had pressed enter. When I had been testing out ‘I love you’. F.My.Life. Ryan was going to see that! Scrunching up my face, I braced myself for the reply- knowing that there was no way to delete it. I took a deep breath. He was writing. Or so it said. The whole world seemed to freeze. As I waited. And waited.

‘Ok’  He replied. Oh no. Could he have made it any more awkward?

‘Sorry I didn't mean to send that!'

‘Haha no worries. Just wondering are you free Friday night?’

‘Umm.. yeah I think so’

‘You wanna meet up? Go to the cinema maybe, just as friends?'

‘Yeah sure!’  I didn’t want to sound too enthusiastic- but inside I was bursting!

‘Great! 7 ok?’

‘Perfect! See u there!’

***

Oh my god! Did he really just ask me out? I closed the MacBook and lay down on my bed. My smile was uncontrollable- I just couldn’t seem to stop! To think that just an hour ago I was in a state. It was strange though- I had never really felt like this before, not even with Kyle. Maybe me and Kyle were never really meant to be? I sighed. I was so confused! I had only just broken up with Kyle, and now I was going on a date with another guy? I wasn’t taking things too fast- was I?

No. It's not a date. He said just as friends. He probably only wanted to meet up because I was back to being single now. But Ryan's not that type of guy, is he? He's not like Kyle. Kyle. I weirdly miss him. Although we'd only been going out two weeks, I thought we had something, special. Aah, why was life so confusing? I threw my hands behind my head and decided to savour the moment rather than ruin it with thoughts about Kyle.

I must have fallen asleep, because next thing, I felt someone stroking my hair. Opening my eyes, it was Mum.

"Had a nice sleep, sweetheart?" she asked, still stroking my hair. I didn't reply. I just rubbed my make-up-free eyes and stumbled downstairs for dinner. Maybe, if I had dinner my parents would forget about this morning.

Bolognese. My favourite. I brought my fork from the bowl to my mouth then back again, as if in a trance. I was still in a daze from my sleep, and all that had happened in the past 24 hours probably didn't help. I was eating, at least.

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