I Wish

Alex Styles was adopted by The Styles when she was 10. But when Harry goes to the X-factor and is put in One Direction, She's finally found a reason to smile. Or has she?


7. They All Know

*Alex's POV*
I'm ready to do this. I can do this. I said to myself. "Okay" i said to Niall
"When i was dating, you know. I went over to his house" I pushed up my sleeves. Niall's face instantly dropped. What the hell? Is there something wrong with me? 'No Alex, just continue, and stop caring so damn much about what he think of you' "And we'll i told my mom it was for a science project, and he told his mom that too, not like they where at home anyway, they could have been there to help m-" 
"Alex, if you're not ready to tell me, i understand. Its okay." Niall interrupted. I think i was glad. I nodded my head.
"But we do have to talk about something" he said, making impossible for me to leave the small room.
"Why?" he said picking my wrists. Oh god. i could feel the tears coming.
"Niall im so sorry." I was burred in his chest crying. "Im sorry" i said again
"Shhh, shh, Alex babe theres nothing to be sorry for" he soothed me.
"Im sorry" i muttered. he lifted my chin up with his finger, so i could look into his eyes.
"We have to tell the boys babe." I instantly ripped out of is grasp
"NO!" i yelled "NO NO NO NO NO" 
"Alex, its only for the best"
"No Niall. They're all going to think im freaks. And Harry! What will he do? He'll-"
"He'll tell you that its okay and he never wants you to do it again. And the rest of the boys will understand Alex, i promise"
"I've heard i promise before. And what happens if your promise gets broken"
"Ill make them realize that you're better now, because you are." He said the last part forcefully.
"I dont want to"
"Alex listen, you're telling them one way or another so we might as well just go out there and tell them, or else they're coming in here"
I really didnt want to, but i bet Niall would bring them in here.
"o-okay" i muttered. He intertwined his hand with mine, and it just felt so right. As we walked out to the sitting room all eyes where on us as we sat down on the love seat.
"We have to tell you something" Niall started
"OHH ARE YOU DATING?!" Louis asked. I could see everyone glare at him especially Niall, but then he blushed. No wait im just seeing things that couldn't be true.
"No." Niall said forcefully "Alex" he turned to me. I gave him a 'what-the-hell-am-i-suppose-to-say' Look.  
I didn't know what to do so i simply held out my wrists.
"Alex please tell me thats not what i think it is" Harry said. I've always joked round in serious situations to make it less awkward and tense. So i said "Well, what do you think they are?" 
"Alex. Why?" he asked "We could have worked through it together" I was ready to blow up on him, saying that he left me for the X-factor so we couldn't have. But Zayn Got up and left. just left. Not a single word out of his mouth. I went hysterical.

*Zayn's POV*
I felt bad for leaving Alex. I really did. But i had to find a way to help her with her problem. I can't stand to see someone that beautiful and wonderful hurt themselves. Alex is like a little sister to me. I can't even imagine how Harry felt. I found what i was going to do to help her. So i went back in. All eyes where on me. "everyone sit in a circle" I said

*Nialls POV*
It really pissed me off that Zayn left right in the middle of her telling, then she just had a total meltdown. She was sobbing so loudly and so much, it was like the ocean was in her eyes. "Shhh Alex its okay" i soothed her. Thats when Zayn came back out. He better have something good to say. He knows i like Alex. So do the rest of the boys. Surprising, Harrys okay with it.
"everyone sit in a circle" Zayn interrupted my thoughts. Whats he up to?

*Alex's POV*
We all got into a circle like Zayn said.
"Alex" Zayn started "How many scars to you have on your body from self harming?" 
I thought for a second while everyone glared at him. "15" i said softly.
everyone just looked at me like i had killed someone. I knew they wouldn't like me. Why did i agree to come? Im just ruining there time. Zayn handed me a piece of paper and a pen.
"write down 15 reasons why you should do that to yourself, then narrow it down to 5" 
after about 10 minutes i had my list narrowed down.
"read them out loud" Zayn said
"fat, ugly, worthless, dont deserve anything, and im a bitch"
Everyone took each of the problems. Zayn got 'bitch', Harry got 'dont deserve anything', Louis got 'worthless', Niall got 'ugly' and Liam got 'fat'. I then had to tell them why i thought each other these things where true. And then they told me why they weren't true. I have to say it made me feel better. Zayn is really a deep guy.
A little while later we ended up watching mean girls, my all time favorite movie. The boys got pretty anoyed with me and how much i quote it but oh well!
A little later when they had on a different movie i fell asleep in Nialls arms. 
"I love you beautiful" i thought i heard him say. But he couldn't have. 
Oh how i wish he would love me back.

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