Waiting for You

Amanda and Skyler get the chance of a lifetime when they are personally invited to go on tour with their favorite band, One Direction. As relationships develop, secrets are revealed, and it starts to become unclear what will unfold. But the only thing the girls know for sure is that with these boys, love is always an option. Co-written by Heather Tomlinson and Emily M. Horan, author of More Than One Direction, and the sequel, Choosing One Direction.

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22. Skinny Love

When Skyler and I leave the bathroom and return to the table, we find Marie acting as if nothing's wrong.
She always was a great actress.
I'm still really upset by the events of the day, and Louis must notice, because he leans down to whisper in my ear.
"Wanna take a walk?"
I nod my head quietly and make eye contact with Skyler. She understands.
Louis takes my hand and leads me outside.
We walk down the road in silence, and it feels nice to be away from everything.
Then Louis suddenly stops and turns to me. I turn towards him, confused.
"Amanda?"
"Yeah?"
"I need to tell you something."
Oh goodness.
"What?"
"Well, I'm not really sure how to say this, but..."
"Yeah..."
"I..."
"Mhm..."
"Uhm..."
"Lou?"
"I think there's a paparazzi hiding over there," he motions in a general direction, "and do you think we could kiss for him so we look realistic?"
A little stunned, I nod my head, and am immediately swept up in a dramatic kiss.
I reach my hands around Louis's neck and try to enjoy the kiss, but I'm too focused on making the kiss believable.
Louis is a great guy, I think to myself.
He's attractive, and sweet, and British.
I keep trying to convince myself, but the loudest thought rings in my head.
He doesn't care about me at all.
The only reason we were friends to begin with was because he was forced to hang out with me.
And now we're kissing, and dating, all because he's too sweet of a guy and defended me.
We release from the kiss, and disappointment is all over his face.
"Was it really that bad?" I try to maintain a straight face so the paparazzi don't know how I'm feeling.
He puts his arm around my waist and we continue to walk.
I'm too self-conscious, I don't want his hand anywhere near my waist.
I am not the skinniest girl.
I think he senses my awkwardness, and comes right out with it.
"What's the matter?"
I don't quite know how to tell him how I feel, but I remember it's Louis and he practically knows every insecurity about me, so I come right out with it.
It's not like I can lose him as a friend.
We were never really friends to begin with.
"I'm fat Lou, please get your hand off my waist."
He drops his hand instantly and looks at me, with shock, confusion, and pity written all over his face.
"I don't even know how to respond."
"You don't need to respond," I say as I grab his hand and continue to walk, "just pretend you like me for the cameras."
The next thing comes out murmured; he does it on purpose. He says it quietly, and I'm not entirely sure what he's said. But I don't want to ask, so I say nothing at all. I just refuse to believe he's actually said it.
I just refuse to believe he actually thinks much of me at all.
I am not a size 2, or even a 4.
I am not blond with blue eyes.
I do not have long legs.
I am not tall.
I'm not much of anything.
And he's pretty much everything perfect in the world.
So why is he trying so hard?
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