385 Ways Out Of WalMart

Part of the "Ways Out Of" series, by Immy Green.

My name is Kristie Johnson. I am 16. I have green eyes, tanned skin, curly blonde hair and bright red lips. I have Dyslexia and a large brain tumor. I need a bit more fun before I die.

Kimmy, Brianna, Rachel, Oro, Harry and Sam will help me. Right now I'm on the bus to WalMart with them. We'll attempt to get kicked out and have fun while doing it. If I die during the process, I will die having fun. Oh look, we're here! Write later,

Kristie ♥



We just got in! Man, this place is huge!

'Okay, what now?' asks Kimmy.

'Dunno. Oro?' Sam replies.

'Let's ask Kristie. She's the ringleader!' Oro laughs.

'RINGLEADER? I'M NO RINGLEADER!' I put on a silly, cartoonish voice and pretend to be a clown. 'Anyway, how about-' I get rudely interrupted by Rachel.

'Ooh ooh ooh! We could switch people's shopping carts!' she suggests.

'I like it!' Harry and Brianna chime up at the same time. We all burst out laughing, and remain doing so for about a minute before the last laugh dies. I run into a room marked "STAFF ONLY" while Sam, Oro and Kimmy stand by the assisted checkouts while Harry, Brianna and Rachel guard the automatic checkouts. and find the intercom. 

In my most cool, calm, collected an casual voice, I speak into the intercom. 'Attention shoppers, there is an Indian Cobra loose in the toys aisle. Please stay calm.' As usual, everyone runs to the exit. Quickly, I press a button locking the doors. The shoppers are banging the doors down while my friends are doing there job and mixing up the trolleys. Harry looks up into a nearby camera, gives me a thumbs up, indicating all the trolleys are switched. Not soon after, Kimmy looks up and she signals. 

'My mistake, sorry shoppers, it was just a rubber toy. Please continue shopping.' I say in my awesome voice. I meet my BFFs in the restroom hallway. 'YEAH!' Oro yells.

'We totally beat the life outta them!' Kimmy laughs.

'Life? More like their living souls!' I scream. We all high-five and do our wacky handshake.


All hands in the middle, we then raise them to our necks. We turn to the left, and karate-chop the person in front on the back. We then turn right and whistle. We attempt to kick their butt, but we jump in front. We face the middle as we all take a step back. '3...2...1... WACKO!' we all yell and shuffle on the spot.

'So,' Brianna asks. 'What next?'


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