385 Ways Out Of WalMart

Part of the "Ways Out Of" series, by Immy Green.


My name is Kristie Johnson. I am 16. I have green eyes, tanned skin, curly blonde hair and bright red lips. I have Dyslexia and a large brain tumor. I need a bit more fun before I die.


Kimmy, Brianna, Rachel, Oro, Harry and Sam will help me. Right now I'm on the bus to WalMart with them. We'll attempt to get kicked out and have fun while doing it. If I die during the process, I will die having fun. Oh look, we're here! Write later,

Kristie ♥

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2. Is that really YOU?

We've been walking and thinking for five minutes long, and nothing. We don't have a lion with us. Or a magic finger. Oh gosh! We're never gonna finish. A security guard eyes us as we walk by. He smiles at me.

'Hey, sis. How ya doing? Are these your cronies?' he asks me in a strong American accent, unlike our Scouse ones, as we're from Liverpool.

'Did he just think that I was his sister?' I ask Sam, who is walking at my side. He shrugs.

'I think he did.' Harry says.

'You look just like her!' lies Rachel. We all giggle like a bunch of hungry chicks.

'That's what we should do next!' Oro suggests.

'What? Walk up to random people and act like they are our long lost siblings?' Brianna asks.

'That's a great idea, Oro!' I fist bump him as we all nod in agreement.

 

I run up to a lady who looks like my 21-year-old sister Haley. 'Haley! Is that really YOU? I haven't seen you since we moved out! You're a great sister!' I hug the stranger and she rubs my back.

'Uh, I know, sister-'

'How many times have I told you to call me Kristie?' I say, stepping back.

'About 100! Silly me. I forgot.' She scratches her head.

'You're 21. You graduated from the University of Manchester. The biggest University in the UK!'

'Silly me. I forgot.' She shrugs.

My 'cronies' start laughing their heads off and her boyfriend, well, I think, her boyfriend, just walks off in embarrassment. 

 

Harry runs up to a 29 year old man called Grant. 'Hi! I haven't seen you for so long!'

'Hello. Who might you be?'

'Harry. You're son.'

'I don't have a son. My name is Grant.  I'm 29.'

'I know, wait, you DON'T? Then, who am I to YOU?'

'A stranger.'

'I thought we were more than just strangers, Grant.' he runs back to us, snorting.

 

We all laugh. We run to the toy aisle and see a 30 year old man picking up a Barbie Dream House. We push Brianna into the scene. She stumbles upon the man

'Daddy! Is that doll house for me?'

'Yes, honey. It is for you.' he smiles and whispers 'What's your name?' into Brianna's ear.

'Brianna. I'm your daughter.'

'Here, Brianna, sweetie.' he gives Brianna the doll house.

'Daddy! I'm seventeen! Don't you think I'm too OLD for Barber-'

'Barbie-'

'Whatevs Daddy! I'm going home!' Brianna runs out of the store after she gave the man the Barbie house. We run after her. Once we are outside, we send Oro to repeat my scene with a lady of 34 years of age, Sam to do Harry's with a fellow 16 year old man called Mark and Kimmy to do Brianna's with a man called Steve aged 26. 

 

We go to a nearby Cafe Nero and grab some gingerbread coffee. We discuss plans for later on and the next thing we know, we're back for more.

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