Frerard - New Memories

Set in the time of the Killjoys: Poison, Ghoul, Kobra and Jet are on the run from BLI after their families are brutally murdered. Their struggle for survival and the growing love between Poison and Ghoul.


6. Lust

Kobra chewed experimentally on the small scrap of meat in his mouth before swallowing it. We didn’t offer him anymore in case he was sick but I just prayed he would keep it down. After today’s slow progress we really did need to start running again. Plus, I’m not sure if I could face another day of forced conversation with Ghoul. I looked up from the campfire where me, Kobra and Jet were sat, over towards Ghoul, who sat hunched over a little way away, his head down looking at something in his lap. I moved towards him, crawling on my knees and ignoring the looks I was probably getting from the other guys. I reached him and paused for a second, waiting for him to turn and look at me. He hadn’t noticed me so I lent forwards slowly until my lips were at his ear, quietening my breathing and staring at the soft skin on Ghoul’s ear lope for a moment before speaking.

“What you doing?”

He jumped, knocking his shoulder against my nose and causing me to moan in pain. He had sprung away from me, looking shocked and a little scared, until he focused on my face and my now red nose and giggled. I wrinkled my nose to test it and decided it was okay, just a little sore. He looked like he wanted to apologise but couldn’t find the words, after all I had snuck up on him. I crawled forwards towards him and slumped down in the sand next to him, he relaxed his shoulders as he looked at me, his face tranquil as he ran his eyes up and down me. I coughed uncomfortably before pointing at the small square metal object he had in his lap. It was been so long since I had seen it, I had almost forgotten what it was.

“What are doing with the transmitter?”

Maybe a month or so ago, one of us had stupidly left it out in the sun on a hot evening and the batteries had fried. I know nothing about electronics but even I could see the transmitter was dead. It still looked dead in its blackened state on Ghoul’s lap except he had opened the back and pulled out a few green wires.

“Oh, just messing with it, really. I figured if we could replace the batteries with some sort of metal panel then we could work the wiring and make the transmitter solar powered!”

“Wow,” I spoke, suddenly interested, “You can do that?”

“No, but cool idea, huh?”

I rolled my eyes at him and chuckled deeply. His eyes were on me again but now I welcomed his stare, supposed to feeling uncomfortable.

“Well, maybe leave it to Jet? He’s more … Technical!”

I struggled with my words, not wanting to be mean but still I didn’t want him messing it up even more.

“Hey!” Ghoul narrowed his eyes at me, before giving me a small smile to show he was joking.

I smiled back and widened my eyes a little at my forgetfulness before jumping to my feet, causing him to flinch and running over to the fire. I picked up Ghoul’s plate and carefully positioning my back so he couldn’t see me, dumped the remainder of my meat on top of his. Jet and Kobra had now settled down to sleep and while Jet snored loudly, Kobra opened his eyes drowsily as I clattered around with the plates. He watched me and caught my eyes as I rushed back over to Ghoul, giving me a smirk but not saying everything.

“Here!” I dumped the plate on Ghoul’s lap where he looked down at it for a moment in surprise before sighing at it and pushing it away from him.

“Thanks, Poison!” He spoke, bitterly, before turning back to the transmitter.

I sat down opposite him and picked up a piece of meat in my hands. He looked at my hand warily but didn’t complain too much when I raised my hand up to his mouth and stroked one finger against his lower lip. He parted his lips slightly and I shoved in the meat before he could protest. He coughed slightly before giving me a death glare and swallowing the meat. He looked about to say something when I reached for the meat again. He just shook his head at me before accepted the meat after I had once again stroked his lips. It became a sort of game, getting harder and harder for him to accept the meat each time. I had to press my fingers into his mouth and battle his tongue in an effort to get him to swallow. I loved the feeling of his mouth, his hot breath against my fingers and the wetness of his tongue as he traced the outline of my fingers with it. All the while, I stayed looking at him, our eyes never leaving each other’s, me enjoying watching the reflection of the flames in his eyes, that were now growing weaker and weaker as it burned itself out.

I reached down to get yet another piece of meat before feeling his hand pause mine. His eyes left mine to pry my fingers off of the plate and he moved to place them on my lap. His hand touched my thigh as he did so and I felt my leg move after his hand as if it needed his touch. I pulled my leg back before he could notice and watched him as he picked up some meat, twirling it in his fingers, teasing me, his eyes lit up in a mischievous way. He waved the meat in front of me for a second and I stuck out my tongue so as to catch it but he flicked it away again. He parted his lips and placed the meat there, the end of the scrap poking out like a small, darkened tongue. His eyes were still lit up and I felt my cheeks flush as I realised what he wanted me to do. I moved forwards onto my knees and lent down til our eyes were equal. His mouth turned up in a smile as I opened my mouth and pulled at the meat with my teeth. He let go quickly and I was disappointed for a moment, having hoped he might have wanted something more. His eyes told me he did but maybe he didn’t want to spoil our friendship. Just like my brother had said. But in the light of the fire, with the stars above us, Ghoul looked so radiant, his hair perfect, his eyes huge in his face, his skin pale and beautiful; I knew that I couldn’t stop myself thinking of how his lips would feel against mine.

I pulled the meat out from my mouth and flung it over my shoulder, gazing into his eyes. I leant forwards slowly, giving him chance to pull away if he wanted but he raised his face to meet mine and I heard him inhale sharply as our lips first touched. We were still for a second, both of us just enjoyed the light pressure of the other against our lips. I moved first, my heart beating so loudly, I felt like I could feel the blood pulsing through my lips, between us. I opened my mouth and gripped his lower lip in my teeth, nibbling lightly on it and making him moan. This was how I had always pictured it, how I had always dreamt it would be. I suddenly felt his tongue run itself along my bared teeth, as if to loosen them from their grip. All I did though was bite harder, making him moan again; God, I loved that sound. I let go to use my tongue to lick his lips. I traced the outside before carefully running it over his upper lip, making him part his lips. Quickly I moved my tongue so that it was in his mouth and once there, I began searching the corners of it, tasting everywhere and running up and down the cave of his mouth. His tongue reached out to stop this action and I loved the wet feeling that was between us, loving the pressure of him.

I reached out one hand nervously and gripped his hair, pulling it and playing with a strand in my fingers. His eyes opened and found mine, the pupils glistening as I reached out my other hand and found his face. I stroked the skin there and my touch made him quiver. I was taking control now, my tongue wrestling him and my hand pulling at his hair until his face was turned up to face mine, me raising up on my knees so that my tongue could reach far down into his throat. Suddenly, I felt his arms wrap themselves around my middle and pull me forwards, stilling me in his mouth as I felt his hips grind against mine. I gasped into his mouth and ran both my hands down his back, tracing his spine and gripping his arse, cupping it until he was pulled off the ground and onto my lap. I started to rock myself up against him and heard him gasp back at me at the pressure of my hips. His legs were wrapped around my middle and his hands in my hair, pulling it harder and harder as he pushed my tongue out of his mouth and started to take over my mouth. I fought back as much as I could, digging my fingers harder into his arse and hips, pushing him until he bucked against me. I moaned and felt myself go semi-hard against him. I felt him smile as he pushed himself harder against my crotch. This was all going really fast and I wasn’t sure why I was even thinking about this. I wanted this, he wanted it. Stop thinking for once in your life and enjoy this!

Being lost in my thoughts, I didn’t notice as he pressed himself further onto me and pushed me backwards until he was almost lying on top of me. I snapped out of my thoughts, realising too late that I was falling. I tried to use Ghoul to steady myself but ended up just pulling him down on top of me. The back of my head hit the ground with a bang and his head came forward, hitting mine and causing us both to moan in pain. He sat up, still on my hips, rubbing his head with his palm and moaned quietly. I just stayed still, the wind knocked out of me not able to speak. He sighed loudly and pulled off me, making me moan as I felt his weight shift from my hips. I wanted to tell him to carry on, tell him I wanted him but couldn’t catch my breath.

“You okay?”

I just nodded at him and accepted his hand as he pulled me to my feet. He let go of my hand and we stood side by side, both still breathing quickly. Oh, why did it have to get awkward, why did my stupid thinking always have to ruin everything?! He looked at me, knowing I was now lost in my thoughts and picked up my hand in his and gave it a squeeze before turning away from me to lie down next to the now dead fire. I wanted to call after him but felt like a small kid confused after being scolding, not knowing what I had done wrong. He opened one eye from his position on the sand and used his hand to pat the space on the ground besides him. I sat down next to him and he sat up next to me. The silence was uncomfortable and I waited for him to speak. He didn’t though, just cautiously raising one hand like he expected me to pull away and pulling down the zipper of his jacket. I helped by pulling my arms out and lying down, leaving him to cover us with the material. I closed my eyes for a second, waiting for the soft touch of his jacket against my torso but it didn’t come. I opened one eye to see Ghoul watching me, looking down at my chest hungrily. He ran one hand down my chest, making my breathing pick up again and paused his fingers over my belt bucket, his eyes gleaming with an emotion I couldn’t trace. He smiled at me, looking perfect and removed his hand from me, covering us up against the desert’s cold breeze. I tried to hide the disappointment in my face as he lay down beside me but didn’t do a great job as he caught my expression and leaned in towards me.

His hair tickled his face and I breathed him in, moving to nuzzle his neck, planning to get my own way by sucking gently on the skin there but he pulled away from me, his eyes covered a little by his hair. I tried not to look hurt but once again didn’t contain the feeling well enough. He moved forward, until our noses were almost touching and sighed deeply, looking at me.

“Believe me, Poison,” he whispered, his eyes showing that hungry quality again, “I want to!”

I smiled at him, trying to move forward again, wanting him now more than ever but once again he moved away leaving me feeling anxious and the lust just growing hungrier inside of me. He pushed my shoulders back so he could look properly into my eyes. I looked at his expression and saw him smiling, lust mirrored in his big eyes.

“But I want to get to know you first!”

I frowned at this. I had known him for how many years now? I think I knew him well enough. Well enough to release the kind of hungry, needy moans he had been making only a moment ago, anyway. He giggled at my frown but kept his hands tight of my shoulders.

“I want to get to know you … As my boyfriend!”

He ducked his head a little, embarrassed about saying it out loud. I picked up his head with my hands, catching his cheeks, which were burning red and smiled at him. He smiled back and tilted his neck backwards, so that I could see the soft skin there. I pulled forwards quickly but stopped myself from biting him like I so greatly wanted to, instead planting kisses on his neck, a path of kisses all the way up to his lips. I licked my lips to wet them before pressing hard against Ghoul’s lips, not attempting to move my mouth against his, just enjoying the pressure. With a lot of effort, I pulled away and looked at his face. He looked at me longingly, seeming to regret the decision to want to get to know me first but smiling widely at me, thanking me for understanding. I didn’t want to understand and huffed a little to show I wasn’t 100% happy about it but pulled him in so his head was resting against my chest, his arms around me. I breathed into his hair and I felt him relax against me. It felt so good yet so alien to have his head there, but I wouldn’t have changed it for the world.

“Is that a yes?”

He spoke carefully, like he was preparing himself for a negative answer. I planted another kiss into his hair, gripping him tightly in his arms until I heard him give a happy sigh.

“That’s a yes,” I whispered and turned my head to the sky, looking up at the stars there as they twinkled down at me happily before closing my eyes and taking Ghoul with me into sleep.

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