It's been three days since Niall has left. I have only gotten out of bed to shower and go to the bathroom. My mom took off of work to help make me feel better, but nothing would work. She would make my favorite food, play my favorite movies, try to take me shopping. But I wouldn't leave the house. I quit my job. I hardly ate. I just mostly would drink vitamin water and nibble on crackers. My only emotions were depressed and indifferent. I would hold my phone all day waiting for him to text or call me, but I got nothing.
Four more days passed, it's been a week. Still nothing. Melanie would come over everyday to check on me. I couldn't even have a normal conversation. I felt like my life was being drained from my body. I was losing weight in a very unhealthy way. I haven't really gotten dressed except for fresh pajamas. I haven't even touched my make up. My bedroom lights never turned on.
Three more weeks passed. It has been one month since Niall has left me. I had hardly any energy to even shower. My mom and Melanie were getting pretty annoyed with me. But I never asked them to look after me. Melanie offered to call Harry to see what Niall was doing but I told her not to. I wanted him to contact me on his own. I kept his hoodie on my bed, always next to me. It still had a faint smell of him. I would hug it everyday and cry. I cried everyday. I'm surprised I haven't run out of tears.
One month, two weeks, and three days. That is now how long it has been. Today I got up to shower. When I came back to my room, I noticed something. Niall's hoodie wasn't there.
"MOM!" I shouted.
She came in. "Yes." She didn't say it like a 'what do you want?' but more of an answer as in 'yes I took it.'
"Why?" I said crying. I collapsed on the ground. She came and put her arms around me holding me tightly.
"We need to make progress. You need to get out of the house, start to let him go. You need to eat a real meal. You have lost so much weight. I'm so scared for your health and your life sweetie."
"If I eat something can I have it back."
"No. You're never getting it back."
"I hate you." I said breaking away from her and got into my bed. She sighed and left my room. All of a sudden my phone started going off, it was a call! Niall?! Please be Niall! I looked at the screen and it was Harry.
"Hello?" I said sadly.
"Leese. I miss you so much."
"I miss you too. How is...everyone."
"Fine, we're all good, planning the next tour. I hope you'll be able to come to a show. I'll send you and Mel some tickets."
"Does Niall want me to go?"
"I don't know."
"I'm sure he does, we all do!"
"Lisamarie, I called because I'm worried."
"No one needs to worry about me. I'm fine."
"Melanie told me everything. You quit your job, you hardly eat or shower, you just lay in bed waiting for him. She said you lost a lot of weight and it makes me sick thinking about you like that."
"I'm fine. I just need to make sure I'm going to be here when he calls. He said we need space. But how much? I miss him more and more every day."
"I know, and I'm so sorry. I'm not even sure what happened. Niall wouldn't tell us. And I know you haven't told Mel."
"I love him. I love him Harry." I said, I started crying.
"I know Leese, please don't cry. I'm going to come visit you. I'll be there tomorrow. It was going to be a surprise but I figured now I would let you know."
"No, no one needs to see me like this."
"You can't change it, your mom knows and it's happening."
"Too bad. I don't mean to cut this short but I have to go to a meeting. I'll see you tomorrow afternoon. Bye love!"
One month, two weeks, four days. Harry showed up around 3 in the afternoon. When he saw me, the look on his face made me cry even more. He just came and hugged me. I cried into his arms, my cries turned into screams. I screamed out for him and pounded on Harry's chest. Why did he have to leave? And it was all my fault. If he could see me now, would he come to my rescue and help me feel better? I like to think so.
"Lisamarie, shh. Calm down. Everything is going to be ok. We're going to work this all out." Harry said rubbing my back and holding me close.
"He doesn't love me anymore, and all I have left is love for him." I cried.