“She has to go guys. We can’t keep her here forever! She has to go back home sometime.” Says Paul. I’ve been with the boys for 2 weeks now. My dad hasn’t called me yet, and my moms dead. They don’t want to see me leave because I’ve been the one to keep them entertained for the time i was with them. I make them laugh so hard, I don’t know why though, I’m not that funny. “I’m saying she goes tonight. She’s distracting you from work!”
“Oh uncle Paul,” I say whining. I have been calling him that since I was a directioner. Since I don’t have a real uncle because he’s on drugs, it’s a good replace. “You’re talking like I’m some sort of dog thats creating a huge problem. I’m just a girl! Can I pleeeaseee stay? My dad doesn’t want me anyway! It doesn’t matter if I stay. The boys love me!” I pled and all the boys nod and run to me and hug me. We all look at Paul with puppy dog faces and he doesn’t seem convinced. Harry then tackles me to the ground and pretends to make out with me, it was awkward because we were outside the tour bus before a show, and fans were watching.
“Okay, FINE! Harry get off of her, she can stay,” Paul begins to say and Zayn runs over and hugs him. “Only if she promises to be good with us on the rest of the tour!”
“I promise, uncle Paul!” I say and hug him. It felt like I was in a loving family for once, and I actually liked it. Even though all the boys can be annoying as hell, I love all of them. It’s time for sound check so I decided to head over with the boys. Get my mind off of my REAL family. I sit back listening to them goof around and fans screaming. This is my life now, I think to myself, touring with One Direction, every girls dream. Once sound check is over they took pictures with fans and I sit back in the field and tan. I bought new clothes a few days ago with Eleanor, and that included a nice bathing suit. A few minutes pass and I hear a few people shouting my name. I get up and notice at a few girls looking at me and laughing. I gesture the “what?” sort of look and hand motions. They all look at each other for a moment giggling and one snarling then the girl speaks up.
“You don’t deserve this attention from them. Your fat and ugly. Just a little attention whore.” The girl says. Doesn’t that hurt. I came out here to forget all the bullying, not get more of it. I don’t show the pain it caused me and walk up to the gate where they stand, which creates a little crowd.
“Yes, and I do, says the bitch standing behind a gate fantasizing to live my life. Sorry I’m not sorry.” I turn on my heel and walk away with swag. Then, out of no where, tears start to form in my eyes. I quickly wipe them away as I enter the bus and go into the bath room. I stare into the mirror and my face is beginning to get red and blotchy. I put the seat down and sob into my hands for a while before grabbing a razor I hid in a shelf. I look at it for a moment before putting it in my skin to relieve the hurt from that girls comment. Fat? Ugly? Two cuts for each word go into my wrist. Extra three for reminder my mom is dead. And one more for my ass hole dad who doesn’t give one shit about me. I stare at my bleeding arms for a moment before hearing a knock at the door and Josh calling my name.
“Are you okay, babe?” I hear him say. I quickly grab one of the boys sweatshirts off the ground, cover my cuts, and wipe my tears away.
“Yeah I’m good, just give me like two minutes.” I try to say cheery but my voice cracks and he opens the doors. He sees my red face, messed up hair, and razor that’s sitting on the sink.
“Oh my- you didn’t… You know… Cut… Did you?” He looks me than back at the razor. I put my head down than start to cry again. He shuts and locks the door to the small and room and hugs me. We sit there for a few moments before he brakes the silence. “Can I know how bad?” I look up at him and with our notice he pulls the sleeves of the jacket and gasps at the scars still bleeding. “You shouldn’t be doing this to your self… I just can’t think of what asshole would want to put a beautiful girl like you through this much pain. You don’t deserve this.” tears start to form in Josh’s eyes. “If any of the boys found out, especially Harry, do you know how upset they would be? Come on babe… Don’t do this to your self please… Please… Promise me you won’t.” He starts to cry and puts his head up on the wall. I kneel down next to him and kiss his cheek.
“I’ll go to you the next time I’m upset. I promise. I’m so sorry. It’s just these girls said to me-“
“These girls said what to you.” I hear a familiar slow voice outside the door. “Your not in there with Josh crying are you? Wait don’t tell me you cut… PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T CUT!!!!” it’s exactly who we didn’t want it to be.