It's Always Been Him

Paxia was the girl in One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” Music Video. She’s half American and half Indonesian. She got close with the boys as they hung out, did stuffs together until she had to fly back to America to finish her school and all. Something was going on between her and one of the boys. And another one of the boys was secretly desperate of wanting her to be his. As life goes on, they learn what happens when they hide their feelings longer than they should.


6. Roommate / Romeo.

Paxia’s P.O.V

I could feel a warm touch on my cheek so gentle, up to my eyelids, and warm minty breath brushing my face. At first I thought it was Nate, but then I remembered that I fell asleep on a couch in airport’s security office, in England. But I wasn’t so sure. So I moved my body a little bit, trying to find out if I’m on a bed or a couch. Well, as I expected. This feels like a couch. So I started to feel myself waking up from my sleep and start to crinkle my noseI heard a voice, and the source of the voice sounded to be so close to me. “Hey sweetheart, wake up.” Said a very heartwarming voice. Who is that? Nate? Noway, it CAN’T be Nate. Nate’s voice is NOT as heartwarming as this one. It’s the kind of voice that can make girls melt. The kind of voice that can make you feel ‘pregnant’ as soon as you heard it. The kind of voice that brings the peaceful feeling to your heart. It made me feel comfortable, and right. I could stay like this forever, listening to him saying that line over and over again. I felt another wave of a warm minty breath brushing the upper part of my face. I felt my heart smiled, and so did my face because I knew, whoever this breath belongs to, it’s the same person who has that heartwarming voice. But who could it be? I’m in England, I don’t know ANYONE here. Paul? Noway, I’m imagining him as a creepy old man with long blonde hair and massive beard. This CANT be Paul because if it’s really him then things will get creepy. I shook the thought about Paul and kept smiling, but then it hit me; maybe it’s just a dream. Yeah, a dream. That makes sense. I’ve been feeling so sleepy and tired. And I’ve been through various kind of craps since the last 1 hour. So I decided to shake it off, move my head a little to the left and opened my eyes slowly. Right then, I thought I was dead. Thought I was looking at an angel’s face. It was so… heartwarming. Peaceful. Amazing. Heck, these words are not even enough to describe the beauty of what’s in front of me. I saw a very cute looking face, inches away from mine. I gasped a little bit. I was shocked, and surprised at a same time. I’m surprised to see such a wonderful face breathing so close to mine. As I kept up with his breathing pace, I finally calmed down and started to trace every line on his face. He has a face with a cheeky smile, gorgeous green eyes, perfect lips, and brown curly hair. That puffy hair makes me want to touch it so bad. It’s shiny and it smells really nice. I realized that while I was too busy admiring him, he was actually smiling at me, staring into my eyes, examining my face and brushing my hair with his fingers. We smiled at each other without having any awkward feeling from doing it. I froze there, amazed by the perfection of his face. I stared into his eyes again, his nose, and down to his lips. Pinkish glossy lips, with the perfect shape. The dimples on his cheeks caught my eyes, I learned his dimples and smiled. They made him look even lovelier. I felt his fingers running playfully through my hair, and I knew that I’ll crave for more of it later on. As I kept staring at him, I could feel him moving closer to me, while stroking my cheek gently. I froze there for few seconds, not realizing that he was actually trying to kiss me. His warm breath was brushing on my lips, it felt warmer as he kept getting closer. Our lips almost touched, and I knew that in the count of seconds, he’d close the space between us and press his lips onto mine. But then I snapped back to reality, I realized that I wasn’t in wonderland. This isn’t some kind of a love scene in a fairytale movie. I gasped and shot my eyes open. “Wait, no!” I startled and covered my face with my hands. I froze like that for a couple of seconds. Then I heard a small gasp and a whisper. “What did i… Oh.” I heard him whisper. Not long after that, I felt cold air hitting my body, maybe he was pulling himself away from me. I peeked through the space between my fingers and saw him standing in front of me, with his hands in his pockets, smiling down at me. Talk about awkward. I removed my hands from my face slowly and smiled nervously at him.

I scratched my elbow nervously before I said something; “Sorry, I didn’t mean to—“

“Nah, it’s okay. I’m the one who should be saying sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you or anything. And I know that I shouldn’t have done that. So, sorry.” He said while rubbing the back of his neck, cutting off my apology. He looked nervous, I could tell.

I smiled at him and sat straight. “That’s okay.” I replied. I was looking at the ground the whole time. Well, kind of hoping that he’d come off with some topic but I guess he was just too slow for that. So I gathered my courage and decided to break the ice by throwing him a question; “Did Paul send you here?” He smiled and nodded. “He rang Louis’ phone, but Louis didn’t wake up. So I answered it and he asked me to pick you up.” I nodded with my mouth shaping an O, as the sign of ‘oh, okay’ and looked back down to the ground. “Yeah.” He said and nodded, and everything went awkward. I didn’t know what to say, what to do. I was blank. He coughed, that kind of made everything a little bit more awkward.

 “Shall we?” He said while giving me a hand all of a sudden. I was surprised by the way he asked me to go. What a gentleman. I looked at his hand, and looked up at him. He smiled at me and twitched his fingers twice. That was like the cutest thing ever :3 I smiled, was trying so hard not to blush, and took his hand. He helped me up and gave me my handbag. “Thanks” I said. I turned around and walked over to my suitcase to carry it, but held my hand in attempt to stop me from grabbing the handle. “No, let me.” He said while smiling at me. I smiled at him from the side, admiring every little thing he did for me and sigh. So many things happened in such a short time. My hanky, the mad lady, the securities, Paul, and now him. I carried on looking at him getting my suitcase ready to be dragged. He couldn’t see me because he was facing the suitcase, trying to get the handle out. I examined his look from head to toe. He was wearing a purple Jack Wills jacket, dark colored jeans, and a pair of black&purple supras. I curled the tip of my hair using my index finger, while still looking at him from head to toe. He turned around to face me and was about to say something, but he froze there. His face turned to red as I felt myself smiling because of it. “Oh shit.” I complained while trying to look normal again. I realized my position and I knew that he found it awkward-somehow-flattering. He let out a small laugh and opened the door. “After you, my lady.” Said him. I giggled and rolled my eyes, then walked out of the office.

We were walking together in silence, side by side. It wasn’t awkward at all. I liked it, I felt like I was walking with someone I’ve known for a long time. I tried to keep my eyes on my track but I couldn’t help myself from looking at his face. He has this ultra strong magnetic energy that attracts me so bad. So I turned my head to him and tried not to look like a hypocrite. “Left, left, left.” He said to me while gesturing me to go left. I shot my eyes wide open and said “huh?”. “Go left, go left.” He said to me again, this time he pressed the 'left' word. “Oh.” I replied while walking down the hall on my left side. I walked along with him and still admiring how cute he looks. I know i'm not supposed to be doing this, admiring a complete stranger, specially when i still have Abe. But he's.... irresistible.

“Paxia! Come on!” I snapped back to reality when I heard him screaming my name. I just realized that I was standing in front of an opened elevator. I froze there like a dazed idiot, I had no idea why. “What? Why? Who? How? When?” I started asking irrelevant random questions. I saw the elevator door was about to close. He dropped my stuffs that he was holding in his hands, stretched his arm out and pulled me in. I felt some of my hair got stuck between the elevator doors, he pulled me in just in time! “Phew, that was close.” I said while looking at the door. “Well, yeah. That wouldn’t happen if you didn’t freeze.” He said and let out small laughs. I laughed off too, and turned my head to the normal position. Right after I turned my head, I caught those green eyes again, closer than before. And this time, they looked like they were shining. I stared into his eyes and his grin started to fade to a small smile. And the same thing happened to mine, too. We stayed like that for a couple of seconds until the elevator “dinged” and slapped both of us to wake up and get back to reality. I pulled myself away from him and tidied up my looks. “Sorry” He said. “It’s fine.” I replied and tucked my hair behind my ears. I checked the floor number and we were stopping on the ground floor. We waited for anyone to come into the elevator but nobody was there. “Anyone want to come in?” He screamed which caused me to jump a little bit. He was louudd._. Nobody came running towards the elevator so I pressed the “close door” button and the elevator started going down. We were lucky that we were the only ones in the elevator and nobody was going to come in. Because our earlier position was a little bit awkward. My body was facing his, his back was leaning to the elevator wall, his arms were around my waist, and my hands were on his chest.

Not long after the awkward walk and elevator scene, we finally reached the car. My jaw dropped when I realized that he was actually driving a range rover. “Sweet ride.” I said to him while checking out the car. He raised his eyebrows and let out a small laugh. “Thanks. You’re into cars?” He asked me while putting my suitcase into the trunk. “Range Rover is like my dream car. I’ve been asking my dad to buy me one but he always say; ‘wait until you’re 17.’ Blaargh.” I said to him while mimicking my Daddy’s voice. “You know what, maybe your dad has a point.” He replied as I heard the trunk being closed and he walked over to me. “Maybe he’ll buy you one on your birthday? Who knows?” He smiled at me and raised his eyebrows. I smiled at him and nodded. “Yeah, let’s just hope so.”

“Let’s go.” He smiled and opened the door for me. “Yep. Thanks.” I said to him while trying to get myself sitting on the front seat. The car was pretty high so it wasn’t that easy-.- He walked to the driver’s door, and got into the car. It went silent for a bit then he slowly moved closer. I started to freak out but I was being calm, trying not to look like a paranoid little tourist. But he was getting closer and he finally leaned towards me. At that point, I freaked out. “WHOAH what are you doing?!” I screamed while pulling myself away to avoid him and blocked his movements by placing my hands on his shoulders. He froze there, looking at me with an emotionless face. I raised my eyebrows at him, demanding for an answer. He grinned and said “Seatbelt.” He patted on my head and leaned back to his seat. “Oh.. I thought.. Nevermind.” I replied. I could literally feel my face turning red. “It’s okay, it shows that you’re taking care of yourself.” He said while starting the engine and we started moving.

The car was in silence for a couple of minutes. The radio was playing an unknown song, the street was pretty empty, the guy was driving in an average speed, and I didn’t even know his name. Everything seemed boring. “Is my apartment far from here?” I asked him. I really can’t wait to meet my new bed. “Hmm..” He said while scratching his head. “Give me 30 minutes.” I nodded and leaned my head to the window, looking out, learning the England environment. I let my thoughts fly and I came up with some conclusions; the environment isn’t that bad, really. The weather is also okay. And the people.. Well, based on what I just experienced, I don’t really like the people. But who knows? The lady is just the 0.00002% of the population. ‘Hell no, not going to let her get the best of me.’ I thought to myself. I felt myself become angrier and angrier because I kept remembering the mad lady incident at the airport. The car honk interrupted my thoughts and pulled me back to a full conscious condition. “Watch it!” Screamed the truck driver. I looked over to the guy, and he looked a little bit sleepy. All I could do was pray, hope that he wouldn’t fall asleep while driving me to my apartment and get me to the hospital, instead. I looked over to the digital clock under the radio, and it was 1.55am. I felt sleepier and sleepier as the car kept moving in the constant speed. I really wanted to sleep away the whole ride but realizing that the atmosphere was a little bit awkward, and he seemed to be pretty sleepy, I decided to start a talk. “Anyway, what’s your name?” I asked. He gave me a quick look and back to the road. “I’m sorry, what?” He asked while looking at the road and turning down the radio. He didn’t hear me? Seriously? The music wasn’t that loud-_- I sighed and leaned a little bit closer to him. “I said, what’s your name?” I replied while tucking my hair behind my ear. He smiled and gave a quick look at me before he said something. “Harry. Harry Styles. And you’re Paxia, right?” Harry Styles. Ah, I like that name, I think I’ve heard that before but I can’t remember. He seems like a nice guy. Which one could he be? Is he the one who has that strange obsession over carrots? OR the one who’s afraid of spoons? Or the one who never grows? Or the muslim one? I kept recalling that warning Halley gave me; “Careful, one of them is a flirt.”. Could he be the flirty one? Or he’s just a guy who works for Paul? Well, I can never find out until I ask.

“Hello? You okay?” He asked while waving his left hand in front of my face. “Oh sorry, yeah yeah, I’m Paxia. Paxia Kyle.” I replied and gave him a smile. I’m still wondering, is he in the band? Well I know I’m not supposed to care that much but curiosity got the best of me, I decided to ask him whether he’s in the band, or just a guy who works for Paul. “Uhh. So you’re in the band? Or you work for Paul?” I asked in a little bit of a nervous tone. I looked at him, bracing myself for a reaction, and he just smiled. I pulled my eyebrows together. What the hell? Didn’t he catch my question? Or he’s ignoring me? I kept staring at him, waiting for an answer. But I got nothing. I felt a little bit disappointed there. And angry. It seems like he’s avoiding me. But who am I to judge? I met him like about 15 minutes ago. I shrugged and looked out the window, not wanting to care about his ignorance to my last question.

Nobody said a thing since he didn’t answer the question that I threw to him a minute ago. We stopped when the traffic light went red. I still can’t believe he ignored me. I thought he was a gentleman, he had great manners. But you know what, whatever. ‘Typical teen celebrity. Well, if HE’S in the band.’ I mumbled to myself. I was starting to feel myself drifting off to sleep, I couldn’t keep my eyes open, so I didn’t fight it. I yawned and closed my eyes, secretly hoping that I wouldn’t fall asleep. I still have that anger towards Harry, tho. But maybe it’s because I’m tired, and I’ve turned into a sensitive kind of person. I yawned one more time and slowly feeling myself falling to sleep.

 “Under the lights tonight, you turned around. And you stole my heart with just one look. When I saw your face, I fell in love. It took a minute girl to steal my heart tonight.”

I shot my eyes open when I heard him singing. I sat straight and turned my head to him.

“With just one look, yeah. Been waiting for a girl like you.”

He continued his singing, and he sang it beautifully. I was still in the same position; Sitting straight, with my head facing him and my mouth shaping the perfect o. I was literally amazed. He saw me doing that weird expression and laughed a little. “Woah.” I said. Still amazed and looking silly. He smiled at me and shrugged. I let out a small laugh before I said something. “Harry, I was expecting for a proper answer. But I have to admit.. That was better. It was amazing, I’m literally speechless.” I said, trying not to sound cheesy or whatever. We both laughed off and started moving since the traffic light went green. “Yeah, I’m in the band. I’m one of the boys.” He said while nodding and smiling at the road. I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “Obviously!” I said. He smiled at the road and giggled. “If you’re not one of the boys, then they’re missing a true star.” I could see his face turning to red. So I leaned back to my seat and looked down. “Sorry if I sounded a little cheesy. I seriously don’t know what to say, man.” I said. He let out a small laugh and poked my cheek. “Chill, love. I like it when you’re cheesy. *winks*”. After I heard that coming out from his mouth, I was like O.O Smooth, Harry. Smooth. I looked over to him and giggled. He raised his eyebrows twice and we laughed again once more.

I yawned and stretched my arms and legs. I could see Harry shot a quick stare at me in the corner of my eyes. “You can get yourself a nap if you want. I’ll wake you up as soon as we get there.” He said. I rubbed my eyes and thought to myself; I actually love his idea. But knowing the fact that I just met him, and he’s a complete stranger to me.. I’m not going to just sleep in the car and let him take me wherever he can. I don’t trust him… Not yet. “No, I’m fine. Just drive carefully.” I replied while placing my hand on my mouth to cover up my yawn. I could tell that he heard me yawning in the middle of the sentence. He looked at me and asked “You sure? I can tell you’re really tired.” He asked while placing his hand on my shoulder and rubbed it softly. It felt nice :3 “Yes, Harry. I’m fine.” I said. “Just keep your eyes on the road, and don’t fall asleep.” I continued while leaning back to my seat and closed my eyes for a second. Harry giggled, I shot my eyes open and looked at him weirdly, wondering what the hell made him laugh. He looked at me for a second and smiled. “You know, you don’t have to stay awake just to make sure I don’t do bad stuffs to you. You can trust me.” Oh, my, god. He can read minds?! I facepalmed myself and smiled. “So you’re Edward Cullen too, now?” He looked pretty confused and giggled a little bit. “What do you mean?” He asked. Yep, he didn’t get my joke. Hah. I sighed and start explaining. “You know Edward right? That gayish vampire who sparkles? He’s the main character in Twilight. He can read minds. And you just read my mind, like about 20 seconds ago.” I explained while rubbing my left eye. He laughed a little and let out a disappointed long ‘ngaawww’. The traffic light went red just in time. Harry put his face closer to mine while doing the ‘puppy face’ and whimpered. “So basically you’re saying that I’m gay?” Asked him. Right after I noticed his face was right in front of mine, I gasped a little and held my breath. Just looking at that face makes me smile. I could feel myself blushing from how adorable he looked, and how close we were. We stayed like that for a couple of seconds. Then I felt the situation went a bit awkward for me, so I laughed nervously and bit my lips while nodding my head. “Yeah, that’s pretty much the news flash.” I said in a sarcastic tone and laughed a little. Harry pouted and huffed. The traffic light went green right then, so he sat back to his normal position and did a fake consolable cry when we started moving. “HUHUHUHUU YOU’RE SO MEAN.” He sobbed so hard and pouted like a baby. I laughed off when he did that. “No I’m not! I’m just honest.” I said while sticking out my tongue. “Seriously now, I’m totally straight. The only one I’d go gay for is Louis.” He said. “SEE?! You’d even go gay for a guy! That means there’s a tiny bit of gayness inside you.” I giggled a bit and pull my eyeballs together in attempt to annoy him. I was expecting him to be like.. pouting and cursing my name and all, but he laughed loudly instead and messed up my hair. “You should see your face when you did that.” He said, still scoffing from laughter. I gasped, pretty surprised hearing that coming out from his mouth. Based on the fact that I was speechless, and didn’t know how to get back at him, he laughed again. This time, louder. And I started to find his laugh funny-somehow-cute. So I forced myself not to smile and laugh until I figure out something I can throw as a ‘reply’. I was thinking of a way to get back at him but I got to admit that I’m pretty sure my face looked ridiculous when I did that, so I laughed off anyway. “Ohyeah? How did it look like, exactly?” I asked him while faking a laugh and trying to make him believe that I was actually laughing at myself. Harry was still laughing hysterically, but I could see him trying so hard to concentrate on the road, and we were moving really slow. “You wouldn’t believe, it was something like this.” He moved the car to the left side of the road so we could go slower, then he turned his head to me and did the same face I made earlier; pulling the eyeballs together. But he did some improvisations, like he stuck his tongue out and widened his nose, and shook his head over and over again, which caused his hair to bounce freely like bobble-head. He looked like a lunatic person! “HAHAHAHAHAH Ohmygod, Harry stop!” I cracked when I saw him doing that. He shook his head and mumbled “NOPE” and kept doing that. I was dying because of laughter, throwing my head back laughing so hard that I nearly bumped my head to the window glass. I clicked my seatbelt holder and shook it off me so I could gasp for air to breathe. Harry let out a small laugh and showed his dimples. Urgh, why is he so cute? “Ya can’t get sillier than this, can you?” He asked me while trying to lick his nose with his own tongue. We both laughed at how crazy we are. “Your face, Harry! it’s just priceless!” I said while rubbing my stomach and laughing my ass off. Tired of seeing Harry’s silly face, I decided to do a BETTER silly face. So I did. I pulled my ears outwards, and stuck my tongue out as far as I could. Harry looked at me and laughed until he made that sound when you’re running out of breath. He accidentally smacked the honk and caused us to  startle at it, and went silent for a couple of seconds. Harry looked over to me and I looked over to Harry. Our faces were incredibly funny. The mix of shocked, embarrassed, and on-the-edge-of-laughing feeling. I can’t really describe it so that pretty much sums it up. We were quiet for 5 or 6 seconds and laughed again. We didn’t even know what’s so funny anymore. Everything just seemed to be so damn hilarious and we had no idea why. Minutes after that, he replied by making another silly face, and we ended up laughing at ourselves and making silly faces at each other the whole car ride.

*after the ride*

“OH, sorry we almost pass your apartment.” Said Harry while hitting the break all of a sudden, which caused me to bump myself into the car dashboard. I hurt my forehead, it bleed because I hit the bobble doll which was right in front of my seat. But I didn’t feel like it was THAT bad, maybe it’d end up looking like a paper-cut or something. So I ignored it and covered it up with my bangs. “Thank you for that.” I said sarcastically. Harry turned the engine off while giggling. “No problem, love.” He looked over to me and poked my shoulder. I pulled my eyebrows together and rubbed the spot he just poked. “What was that for?” I complained. He let out a small laugh and shrugged. “I don’t know. Just my attempt to annoy you.” Said Harry while sticking his tongue out. I smiled at what he just said, I found it cute. “Just unlock the dooooor, I want to go insiiideee!” I groaned. “Alright. Okay okay.” He unlocked the door and got out of the car. I did the same and walked over to the back of the car to get my stuffs. “Here, let me help you with your luggage.” He said. “No! you’ve done enough for me tonight, Harry. Just carry my handbag and I’ll carry my own suitcase.” I said while grabbing the suitcase handle and looked down to the staircase, to prevent myself from falling down. I pushed my handbag to Harry’s chest and was planning to get my hand off of it right away, but he held it in a strong grip and froze. “Harry, let go.” I said while shaking my hand which was still in his grip, glued to my handbag. I looked up to Harry’s face and caught him staring at me. His eyes were strong somehow soft, staring right into my eyes. His eyebrows were pulled together and he wasn’t smiling. “What?” I asked. He shook his head as a respond. I didn’t get what he was trying to say, so I groaned and stomped my feet. “Look, we’re both tired so can we just get these inside and go to sleep?” I said to him in a pleading tune. Right after I said that, I saw his eyes light up, there was a smile growing on his face. The smile turned into a giggle and I saw him looking down, with the smile still glued on his face. I let out a small laugh and bent down a little bit to catch his eyes. “You okay? Why are you smiling?” He looked up and caught my eyes while pushing my handbag away from his chest, to mine. “You just asked me come in and go to sleep.” He replied with a grin on his face and stared at me. I was confused, trying to figure out what that was supposed to mean. And then it hit me. My eyes widened, I didn’t realize that I said that. Well, I never thought he would think of it THAT way. I pulled my shoulder up and hunched a little, trying to hide the nervous feeling but I know that I’ll end up showing it. I could feel the heat running on my face, I felt a little bit dizzy and was trying to find another thing to stare at, just to avoid the unwanted eye contact. “Umm.. I- I didn’t mean it that way. I-i-I mean, it’s a—um, it’s not--…” I stuttered my words, I actually didn’t know what to say, and I knew that he was giggling because he could tell that I was nervous. My eyes were still running around, looking at random things. Then I saw a clock. It showed the time; 2.20am. A lightbulb popped out and my eyes light up. I stood straight and stared at him with confidence. “Well I was just worried, you know. It’s 2.20am and it’s pretty dangerous if you drive home at this time of night. Plus it’s bad for your health too. So yeah, I was just worried.” I said without thinking. “So you’re worried about me?” He asked, raising his eyebrows and leaning down to my face and trying to catch my eyes again. ‘Shitshitshit, bad move’ I thought to myself. “I never said that. I was just thinking about what would happen to you if you drive home while you’re sleepy. You wouldn’t have me to keep you awake the whole ride. What if you fell asleep and the car lost control? And you crashed to a truck, and hurt yourself, and Gosh that would be terrible.” I said, trying to deny and hide the fact that I’m worried about him. He narrowed his eyes. He pulled the right side of his face up and narrowed his eyes. “You know what, you’re right. I shouldn’t drive. I should stay in for the night. Thanks for asking me.” He said and patted my head. He grabbed my suitcase and walked up to the staircase, leaving me there freezing like a statue. ‘What did I just do?’ I asked to myself. “You just got yourself a roommate!” I heard Harry said that before he walked in. I faceplamed myself and sighed. “Well, atleast I have a roommate for tonight.” So I shrugged and walked in to follow Harry.

We spent approx 20minutes settling down. I sat down on the corner of the bed and huffed while Harry was still moving things around. “Harry, just leave them there. It doesn’t mean that I don’t appreciate your help or whatever. But just get some rest, leave that to me.” I said to him with my eyes half opened. Harry looked over to me and smiled. I stared back at him while still sitting on the corner of the bed, looking pathetically tired. He walked over to me and grabbed my hand to help me up. He put my head on his palms and stared into my eyes. “I’ll leave them there IF you promise to settle these things tomorrow, not tonight. You have to get some rest, okay?” He said to me while stroking my cheeks with his thumbs. I smiled and nodded. “I need to wash my face first.” I said to him while putting my hands on his to remove his hands from my head. I walked over to the washroom and locked the door. “What a day.” I said to myself. I bent down to the sink and cupped my hand underneath spigot, and splash the water to my face. I felt a little fresher after that. I changed to my white & pink oversize shirt and a white shorts, did the bathroom duty and walked out of the bathroom.

I walked into the bedroom and saw Harry dressed in a plain white shirt and a boxer. He looked hot, but i really can't think straight right now, so i ignored his major hotness and continued walking. I saw that ge was preparing some kind of a bed on the floor, with only 1 pillow and no blanket. “Harry, what are you doing?” I asked. Harry looked up at me and smiled. “Oh, yeah umm. I walked around the apartment and the sofa was too small for me. Then i found these in the closet, so I prepared this for myself.” He said while rubbing his elbow awkwardly. “Harry, no. Please it’s cold. Sleep with me on the bed. It’s big enough for two. We could place a pillow between us to make sure that we won’t be having a contact with each other while sleeping.” I said to him. He rubbed the back of his neck and raised his eyebrows while staring at me. “You sure?” He asked me in a hesitating tune. “Yes, Harry. What kind of person am I, letting a teen star sleeping on the floor?” I said sarcastically. We both giggled. I walked over to the bed and lied down on the left side, facing the bedside table, while Harry was shutting off the light across the room. Right after the lights went out, I closed my eyes and felt the weight getting on the other side of the bed. I felt the rushes of him moving around, and placed a pillow between us, just like I said. I smiled because I was pretty surprised that he actually did that, I thought he would that an advantage. The thought of trusting him came up to me, maybe he really is a good guy. By the way he treated me, the way he talks, everything..

I felt the rushes from the other side of the bed stopped, which caused me to stop my thoughts and fall back to reality. He didn’t move, I didn’t move. All we could hear was crickets, and the sound of the cars passing the apartment. It was awkwardly quiet for 5 seconds, and I was starting to wonder; ‘is he facing me? Or is he facing the other way?’. Thinking it’d be awkward if he was facing this way a.k.a facing my back, I had this urge to roll over and face him, but then I thought It’d make things go more awkward. So I didn’t do anything about the awkward silence and let myself drift off to sleep. I was about to fall to the beddy-bye land, then I shot my eyes open when I heard Harry yawning so loud, it sounded more like a “hey, turn around and say goodnight!” type of yawn. I giggled and I rolled over to face him. I caught him staring at me, and we both sighed. We stared at each other in the dark for a couple of seconds. And it wasn’t awkward at all. I was smiling, and he was too. I could tell. “Hey.” He said. I giggled and tuck my hair behind my ears. “Hey.” I replied. “Crazy isn’t it?” He scoffed in the middle of the sentence. “What’s so crazy?” I replied. “This thing called reality. It’s an awful place, really. But it sometimes makes us feel like we’ve teleported to the Wonderland when it gives us something sweet. It lets us have fun with it for a while, let us feel happy, accepted and loved for a short time then it’ll take it away with your feelings soon. And that happens constantly, which gives us this fear, or you can say it as a trauma of losing something beautiful that life has given to us.” I was speechless. That statement he just threw was a massive fact. But it got me thinking, what does it have to do with this situation? Is he scared of losing something? Is he having a trouble with the boys? Or his family? Or his lovelife? I was too tired to think straight and start an investigation, so I shook it off and nodded. “Yeah, that’s just life. A douchebag.” I replied. He giggled and accidentally brushed his warm breath to my hair which gave me chills. “Yeah.” He said while moving his hand to my hair and brushed it. It made me calm, and felt safe. The drowsiness came to me even faster. Harry’s brushing motion makes me feel sleepy, in a good way. So I smiled at him and closed my eyes. “Goodnight, Harry.” I whispered to him, and enjoyed his brushing motion. He didn’t answer and 10 seconds after I said goodnight, all I could hear was silence. I was a little bit disappointed but whatever. I yawned one more time, Harry was still brushing my hair, and slowly felt myself falling to a deep sleep.

Harry’s P.O.V

“Goodnight, Harry.” She said, half alive. Please don’t say goodnight, ‘cus when the daylight comes I know that I’ll have to go. I didn’t dare to say goodnight. I brushed her hair, and felt every piece of them tickling my palm. It gave me fireworks, and I don’t know why. Everything about her makes me feel.. alive. Makes me feel something i haven't felt since a long time ago. I saw her absent minded smile, right then i knew that she was already sleeping, and I couldn't help it she’s even perfect when she’s asleep. I looked away from her to see the time, 2.40am. I closed my eyes and put my hand on my forehead, digging up my head about tomorrow's tasks. Secretly hoping that i wouldn't have anything important to do tomorrow so i could be here when she woke up. "Shit." I mumbled. I only have 5 hours till daylight. "Why can't things just slow down. Why can't life just slow down?". I felt tears forming in my eyes, knowing the fact that this girl just came to my life and made me feel everything that I used to feel when I was with Felicity. That familiar feeling i felt years ago, came back to me. The sparks, the butterflies. Her eyes, her lips, her cheeks, everything makes me want to hold her close since the first time i drop a sight at her. I know she doesn’t look a thing like Feli, she’s better looking than Feli. And I’m sure that she’s a better person than Feli. She's sweet, she's angelic, she's not arrogant. at all. She's funny, and she doesn't care that I'm in the band. That way i knew that she wasn't running up for the fame. And tonight, is a once in a lifetime chance for me to hold her close. Eventhough i really shouldn't be doing that, but i'm not gonna waste this moment. So I removed the pillow that drew a line between us and lied down right next to her with my arms on my sides. A little bit awkward but i don't have to courage to hug her, even if i really want to. I turned my head to her and saw her smiling. I kept up with her breathing pace, and kissed her head. I stroke her cheek once more, and closed my eyes to let myself fall to sleep from thinking about the fact that she’s sleeping next to me right now. I had this feeling that i'd have an awesome dream after this. But these feelings confused me. Could I be in love with her? I mean, I just met her. This can't be love, right? But on the other side i just feel like this is right, this is real. I can’t help myself from feeling this way. It’s just too obvious that she gave me butterflies. She made me feel again, after being completely numb for what feels like forever.

“Urrmmhh..” I heard her groaning. I opened my eyes and checked everything around her to make sure nothing was there that could be dangerous for both of us. Nothing was there, maybe she was just dreaming. But i slowly moved my hand up a little, in case that my shoulder bone was the problem. It's hard as stone, so i'm very self conscious. I gave her the space to roll over and find a comfortable position, but she snuggled under my arm instead. I held my breath and gasped a little. I'm having her under my arms. I felt like she’s mine tonight. I felt like this isn’t a coincidence. Right then, I put my arms around her and held her close. I brushed her hair again like I did earlier. I kissed her forehead. I realized that I shed a tear. And the tear dropped on Paxia’s cheeks. I wiped the tear and stroke her cheek. I stared at her perfection under my arms. I closed my eyes and kissed her head through her hair once more. “Goodnight, love.” I said while slowly feeling myself drifting off to sleep.

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