It's Always Been Him

Paxia was the girl in One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” Music Video. She’s half American and half Indonesian. She got close with the boys as they hung out, did stuffs together until she had to fly back to America to finish her school and all. Something was going on between her and one of the boys. And another one of the boys was secretly desperate of wanting her to be his. As life goes on, they learn what happens when they hide their feelings longer than they should.


3. Big Things To Tell.

I started to freak out as I kept thinking about what happened in Axel’s office. I had a huge smile glued to my face and constantly waved at everyone who passed by our car. Dad told me to stop many times but I couldn’t help it, I’m just happy!

I took out my phone and stared at it while thinking about having a sleepover with my girls. I’ll be gone on Wednesday so I thought it would be great to have just one more girls night in. “Dad, dad, dad! I want to invite some of my friends to have a sleepover tonight, you’re okay with it, right? Pleasepleasepleaseeee.” I asked to Dad as I put my hands on his right shoulder, shaking him a little bit.

“Well, you’ll leave in 2 days so I guess that’s okay.” Dad gave me a smile and looked back to the road. “Yaaay! Thanks dad you’re the best.” I kissed his cheek and texted my bestfriends straight away. “Come over to my house for a sleepover tonight. I have some big news to tell. LOVEYOU <33 xx” I typed down the message and selected some numbers. “Merry, Diane, Halley. Send!” I mumbled to myself as I smiled at my phone, waiting for their replies.

“Alrighty! –Merry”

“Will be there tonight, hun. –Diane”

“Suresure! –Halley”

YAAY! They all said yes! I shrieked and replied their texts. Dad looked at me and asked “They said yes?” while raising his eyebrows. I nodded and smiled widely. I put my phone back into my pocket and turned the radio up. Moves Like Jagger was on. I crossed my legs and tapped on my lap as I sang along to the song, in key. So Dad didn’t mind at all :p But Nate was disturbed because he was trying to sleep at the back. I could hear him growling and cursing my name. He sat down with his eyes half opened, messy hair, and put his hands on the top of his head.

“Can you please turn it down?! I’m trying to have a PEACEFUL rest, young lady.” Nate shouted at me from the back. I turned my head halfway around and stuck my tongue out. I winked at Nate and continued to sing. “We’re almost home, Nate. Don’t worry.” Said Dad patting on his head. Nate growled and cupped his head with his hands. I could see his reaction from the mirror. I giggled a bit and turned around to face him. “I’m sorry if I’ve been acting like a total bitch to you, lately. But we’re going to go our separate ways for the rest of the summer so there would be no one for me to tackle down and mock at. And today’s the last day for you in America. So I could just carry on torturing you cus I know you’d miss me.” I kissed his forehead and bumped my head hard to his. We both let out some long “Ouuch”es and went back to our normal positions.

The car stopped and we got out of the car. “Oh home sweet homeeee, I’m gonna miss youuuu!!” I screamed as loud as I could while running towards the front door and kissed it many times like a psychotic teen girl. My house is big, many of my friends said it looks like a mansion. I can’t really describe it so here’s a pic: So yeah, I kissed the front door for a good 2 minutes, then I barged in, and run around in the house with my hands flying free in the air while screaming; “GOODBYE OH GOODBYE, I’M GONNA MISS YOU. THE COUCH, THE TV, THE KITCHEN, THE DUSTS, THE WINDOWS, THE CHAIRS. BUT HECK, I’M GOING SPEND THE WHOLE DAMN SUMMER WITH ONE-FREAKING-DIRECTION. IN ENG-to-the-LAND, ENG-LAND.” I stopped from whatever I was doing and did a dougie while humming an unknown song. Nate and Dad just got in, Len came running to the source of the noise, which was me. And they all stood there watching me doing some dougie. “What the heck are you doing? Come join!” I said to Nate while running towards his direction and did a dougie next to him. He gave me a weird look and shook his head. “Yea, you know what. You’re crazy. Pure crazy. I have a crazy baby sister.” He looked down and facepalmed himself. I stopped the dougie and waited for his next action, because he seemed so serious. Maybe he was just sleepy, so he got mad easily. I stood in front of him and just… stood there. Suddenly he shot his eyes open and screamed “SCREW SELF CONTROL. I’M GOING TO SPEND THE WHOLE SUMMER WITH MIAMI-FREAKING-HEAT!! IN ENG-to-the-LAND.”

“ENGLAAAAAAND!!” We both screamed in sync. He started to dougie and I did the same. We did some random awkward dance moves, humming the songs that’s never been heard by any human beings before. “Congratulations, Miss pumpkin and Mr nate. I’m happy for you.” Said Len. She’s my maid. Brown hair, brown eyes, thick eyebrows and skinny body. She’s in her middle 40 and she’s not very tall, shorter than me by 3 or 4cms. But she’s very nice, and loyal. She’s been working for my family since I was 8. “Thank you, Leeenn.” Me and Nate said in sync, again. We hugged Len and raced to the kitchen.

I was in lead, Nate was few steps behind me. I didn’t even bother looking behind just to check how far he was, I was too afraid that I’d lose. Again. I’ve had enough looses this week. I kept on running as I increased my speed because I felt Nate getting closer. he tried to stop me but he bumped his head to a door instead, so that kinda slowed him down. I laughed out loud while running and I got into the kitchen first! “OHYEAH, I’m tha winner. Now go get me my ice cream, suckaaah.” I sat down on the chair and put my feet up to the kitchen table while crossing my hands on my chest. Nate growled and dragged his feet to the fridge to get me some ice cream. It’s kind of our old game, whoever got into the kitchen first, will get 3 extra scoops of ice cream. I know it’s childish but hey, it’s fun :D

We ate our ice cream in the kitchen while talking about our plans for the summer vocation. Nate said he wanted to shower in the same shower as LeBron. I laughed the living hell out of me as soon as he said that. “Oh Nate, you’ll even use the same shampoo as LeBron. Every-Single-Day!” We laughed at the statement I threw out. “What about you? You’re going to live in your own apartment there, right?” Asked Nate while licking the spoon that he used to scoop the ice cream. “Hmm.. Well, I don’t know. It’d be scary to be there all alone. Plus, Uncle Axel said that the apartment is pretty big. It has personal indoor pool. You know how I feel about swimming pools at night. So maybe as soon as I get new friends, I’ll ask them to stay in my apartment for a while.” I answered Nate’s question while stirring my half-melted ice cream. I’ve always been afraid to pools at night. I mean, when it’s empty. “Well, what about the boys?” Nate winked at me and poked my shoulder. “Well, maybe. If they’re friendly. I don’t know them, and I’m not a fan of them. No pressure.” Nate nodded and stood up then walk towards the kitchen door. He turned around to face me while yawning. “You coming? We need to pack, you know. I’ll leave tomorrow morning.” “YOU need to pack, big fella. I’ll leave in 2 days. Plus, Halley, Merry, and Diane will come over to have a sleepover.” I said to Nate, still stirring the ice cream. Nate’s eyes shot open right after I said Diane will come over. “Wa-wait, Diane will come over?? What time?” He asked hysterically. Nate has a crush on Diane, and Diane kinda has the same feeling about him. But I stayed out of it and let them do it their own way.

“Umm, well she said she’ll be here ‘tonight’. So I’m guessing she’ll come over at around 7 or 8.” I said.

Nate looked at his watch and slapped his forehead. He spun around in circle for about 3 times then he gave me a sharp look. He walked over to me and put his arms up right in front of my face, so I was facing his pit. “Do I smell like a potato?” I shook him off of me and shrieked in disgust as he kept trying to get his pit a contact with my nose. “EW, NO NATE! NO YOU DON’T!” I screamed, still trying to get him off of me. He finally stopped and stepped back. “Really? I doubt that..” He sniffed his own armpit over and over again. I let out a long “eww” and continued talking. “You didn’t let me finish.” He stopped sniffing and looked at me, waiting for the words to come out of my mouth. “What I meant was, you don’t smell like potato. But you DO smell like a freaking onion.” I stood up and gave him a noogie. He growled and hugged my hips in attempt to pick me up but he failed. I got out of his grip and I ran out of the kitchen, laughing my ass off. I went straight to my room and locked the door, in case Nate would come and rip my head for what I just said. I heard heavy footsteps coming towards the door, so I ran towards my bed and let myself fall into it. “PAXIAAAA, seriously! Do I need to have a shower or not? Does Diane likes boys who smell like onions? OPEN UP, BABY SIS!” I laughed as I heard the question “Does Diane likes boys who smell like onions?” Is he THAT stupid? I coughed a little bit to stop my laugh before I walked over to the door and opened it. “What kind of girl who likes boys who smell like onions, Nate? That’s just ridiculous.” I giggled as I turned around and walked towards the bed then sit on it. Nate was still standing in the doorway. Facing me, staring at me like a dazed idiot. “So I have to take a shower then?” I leaned my back to the bundle of pillows on my bed and nodded. Nate pouted and let out an “ngaaww” as the sign of disappointment. “Is a quick dip okay?” Asked Nate while stepping into my room and walked towards me. “Noway. Have a rich lather. You smell like an onion and you think you’d get rid of it just by having a quick dip?” I asked as I stood up and poked his stomach. “But don’t worry. You’re attractive in any kind of way.” I hugged him while covering up my nose with my hands, so he’d think that he smelled THAT bad. “Aww, you’re the sweetest.” He kissed my forehead and walked out of my room.

I sighed and closed the door. I grabbed my phone to text my girls. “When will you girls come over? I’m dying to see you :( xx” I sent the message to them three and layed on my bed. I closed my eyes and opened it again right away. I forgot to tell this to Abe and Fred! “Hey, I have some big news to tell. Call me? Conference call pls xx.” Sent. Not long after that, my phone rang and it was Abe’s ringtone.

“Hey. Hold on a sec, let me get Fred on the line.” Said Abe. I heard button clicks before I could say anything. Then I heard another voice from the phone, it was Fred. Fred was my bestfriend back when I was still in Indonesia. He’s still my bestie, but he’s kind of Abe’s best bud too. So he’s like… a mutual friend of me and Abe.

“Hey guys.” I said in a husky voice, maybe it was because I felt sleepy.

“Hey, so what’s up?” Said Fred. “Yeah, what’s the big news?” I heard Abe said. It’s always good to hear Abe’s voice. The only voice that could make me melt and feel right at the same time. “Umm.. I’m gonna go straight to the point, since it’s pretty expensive just to call from Indonesia to America.” I paused for a few seconds and everyone was silent. “I’m going to spend summer in England. With a boyband called One Direction.” I said, I softened my voice at the “With a boyband” part. “What? THAT One Direction? I thought you weren’t a fan of them.” Said Fred. “Yeah, I’m not. Actually, it’s not technically ‘spend the whole summer with 1D’, my uncle gave me this opportunity to be in their newest music video. He thought it would be a great start for me since he knew that I wanted to be an actress. Plus, he said I have the exact look that they were looking for. So yeah..” I said in a standard tone, so I didn’t sound like I was bragging. “Ohmygod, that is so great! Congratulations, my girl. You’re going to be awesome.” I heard Abe said. “Shit, my bestfriend is going to be in a worldwide Boyband’s music video?!!” Fred said, almost shouted so I kinda pulled my phone away from my ear a little bit. “Hahah, yeah. Thanks guys. And I’m sorry I can’t visit you this summer. I’m missing you. Badly.”

“I miss you too, sweetheart.” Said Abe as he let out a fake small sob. We all let out a small laugh and sighed. “I guess we better hang up. I’m kinda running out of credit soo..” Said Abe, he trailed off at the last word. “Yeah, sure. Okay. It’s nice to finally hear your voice. I miss you guys.” I said to Abe and Fred, and was going to hang up but I heard a voice said “Love you, xia”. I smiled and said “I love you too, Abe.” I hung up and stared at the ceiling smiling to myself. I thought about the times me and Abe had while we were in Indonesia. We went to movies, rode a rollercoaster, went to ghost houses, held hands.. I smiled to myself as I felt myself drifting off to the sound of the clock ticking, without getting the beautiful thoughts out of my head.



“PUMPKIN, you need to get up now!!” I woke up because Nate slammed my door open and shook me to death. “WHOAWHOAWHOA, chill! What’s the deal?!” I asked Nate, slightly annoyed, and sat up. “Your friends are here. Yes, including Diane.” He gave me a nervous look. I examined his look from head to toe. He was wearing a plain dark grey shirt, loose trousers, socks, and messy-somehow-cute spiky hair. Aww, he looked adorable. I smiled at him and pinched his cheeks. “Aww, you look adorable, Nate. She’ll turn to jelly as soon as she sees you like this.” He widened his eyes and looked at his own clothes. “Xia, I’m not even ready. I just got out of the shower. That’s why I need YOU to tell me what to wear!” I pulled my eyebrows together. Did he, my big brother, just asked me to help him decide ‘what to wear’? He’s starting to act like a girl=.=

“Err, I think you should just stick with this. You look adorable. Plus, it’s just a sleepover. So  it’d be awkward if you came up wearing a tux and some fancy shiny shoes.” I said. He nodded and scratched his head. “Yea I guess you’re right. But it’s not like I’m invited to the sleepover, right?” “Ofcourse not! It’s a girls night in. If you consider yourself as a girl so I guess you can join in.” He chuckled and messed my hair. We both walked out of my room and went downstairs.

“XIAAAAAAAAAA!!!” I heard a megaloud sync screaming from the other side of the room. I turned around and I saw 3 pretty girls running towards me with their arms opened. They hugged me so tight, I could hardly breathe. “Girls, girls, I ca—I can’t bre—I can’t breatheeee!” I froze there with my hands on my side, locked in a huge hug from 3 girls, and I was literally gasping for air. They finally let go off the huge hug and smiled at me. I exhaled and put my hand on my chest, and breathed heavily.

“Sorry for that.” Said Halley. “It’s okay, I know you guys have been missing me so bad” I winked at them and we all giggled. “So what’s the big news?” Merry asked me with a plain face. “well, I can’t tell you now. I’ll have to wait for the perfect moment to say it. Which is tonight. Right before we go to sleep. But before that, let’s get craaaazay!” I screamed and ran to my room, as my girls followed me at my back.

I was wearing an oversized t-shirt and grey pants. Halley was wearing a green shirt (short sleeved) and white pants. Merry was wearing pink tank and black loose pants. And Diane was wearing purple tank and dark blue loose pants. “So what should we do?” I asked.

“MOVIE MARATHOOOOONNN!!!” They all screamed in sync. “Sure! What should we watch? And by the way, should we ask Nate to join in?” I asked to everyone, but I gave Diane a sharp look when I asked “should we ask nate to join in”. Halley and Merry nodded. “It’s okay I guess. Your brother’s pretty cool. We can live with that.” Said Merry as she and Halley walked to my drawer which is full of DVDs and picked out some movies. “So, Diane? Is that okay with you? Can I invite my brother in?” I raised my eyebrows and looked over to Diane. She turned to red and nodded “Yeah sure...” She whispered. I giggled and I walked out of my room. “NAAAAATE! Where the hell are you?!” I screamed his name hoping he’d shout back. It was pretty hard to find him because he hung almost everywhere around the house. And as I said, my house is big. “I’m here! By the pool!” I heard a voice said. I ran out to the backyard and saw Nate sitting down on the poolside, his trousers were curled up, so he could dip half of his legs into the water. I walked towards him then sat next to him and rest my head on his shoulder as he put his arms around me. “The girls said it’s okay to invite you to the girls night in. Well it’s no longer a girls night in if you’re included. Just a simple sleepover.” We both giggled. He pulled his head away from mine and pulled his eyebrows together. “Really? They wouldn’t mind having a weirdo like me hanging around?” He asked with a fake sad face. “Ofcourse not!” I elbowed his stomach and he growled in pain it like i hit it hard. “You’re not a weirdo. You’re just my brother. Who is a dork. And a twerp.” I smiled at him and he gasped. “Oh my lord, my baby sister thinks that I’m a twerp. I feel so so unloved.” He did a fake consolable cry and I rolled my eyes. I stood up and gave him a hand. “You coming or not? Don’t make me change my mind, bud.” He looked up at me and smiled. He took my hand and I helped him up as he dried his legs and let down his trousers again. We started to walk as soon as he put his arms around my shoulder. “So, did Diane said anything about me so far?”. He asked while looking up at the stars as we walked across the backyard. “Hmm, nope. But I did ask her whether she’s okay if I invite you in or not. And she kinda blushed.” I bumped my hips to his and his face turned to red. “Really? You’re not making that up, right?” He asked me while giving me a sharp look. I shook my head and grinned. We walked to my room in silence. We walked in and the girls were already watching the movie. I sat down between Halley and Merry so Nate could sit next to Diane. “What’s this?” I asked. “Super 8. It caught my eyes so I pulled it out. We could make up our minds, you have some awesome stuffs there, xia.” Said Halley while munching popcorns. We watched the movie til the end and I ended up laying on Nate’s lap. Diane’s head was on Nate’s shoulder, Nate’s arm was around Diane. Halley’s head was on my lap, and Merry’s head was on Diane’s lap. We turned off the TV and thought about something else to do. Merry suggested to do a dance battle, and since Diane can’t dance, she’ll be the judge. Me and Nate were team A. Merry and Halley were team B. We danced, we sang, we laughed. Times flies so fast, we’ve been doing crazy stuffs for the last 4 hours, like stealing Nate’s boxer to use it as a catapult for our game. We played truth or dare, Halley had to kiss my neck=.= It was ticklish but somehow funny. Nate and Diane got even closer after I asked Nate to sing us a song before he go to bed. Me and Nate played the guitar, and the girls tried to guess the song and sang along. He had told the girls about his summer vocation plan. Diane was the only one who didn’t seem excited for Nate. And I could see Nate frowned right after he saw Diane’s face expression. But they talked in private and I guess they found a way to stay in touch.


It’s 2am. Nate went to his room at 10, he needs to wake up early for tomorrow. Diane and Halley were playing taptap on my iPod, merry was screaming at Diane to distract her from getting a high score. And I was cleaning up the mess, trying to get some space to sleep. After the girls finished playing, I called their name and they came up to me. Diane sat down next to me, resting his head on my shoulder. Merry and Halley sat down on the opposite side of me and Diane. I got their attentions and started to talk. “So, we’re all tired now, right?” They all nodded and yawned in sync. It kinda made me laugh, so I giggled a little bit. “Now I’m going to tell you the big news, just like I promised.” Diane shot a stare at me and sat up straight, Merry and Halley did the same. “Tell us tell us!” Halley shook my arms. “Alright alright. So..” I paused for a little while as I saw their face reactions. They all raised their eyebrows and moved closer to me. “So, I don’t know how to put this simply..” I said. “UGH Just tell us already!!” Merry shouted at me. “Okay okay.” I sighed and opened my mouth to say something again “I’m going to spend the rest of summer in England.” Their eyes were widened, they exchanged stares for a while then looked at me again. “.. With one direction.” BAM! That’s the climax. I knew they love One Direction. Except for Halley. I heard loud gasps coming from them three, including Halley who wasn’t even a fan of One Direction. “Wait—What did you just say?” Asked Halley. “You’re joking, right?” asked Merry. “OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD, First your brother told us that he was going to spend summer with Miami Heat and now.. THIS??!” Said Diane. “Errr. Yeah, Listen. It’s not technically like.. I’m going to be with them all summer, it’s just… Another big thing.” I said.

“OH WHAT NOW?!” Asked Diane as she moved closer to me. “I’m going to be in their newest Music Video..” I looked at the ground and braced myself for loud screams from Merry and Diane. But all I got was silence. Merry’s and Halley’s mouths shape the perfect O, and Diane looked like she was going to faint. “You’re… Gonna be… In… What makes you beautiful… Music video… Ohmygod..” Said Diane, I could see that she was trying so hard to keep herself together. “Wha? I don’t even know what song it’s going to be.” I shrugged and scooted away to lay down. “It’s their new song, what makes you beautiful, they said the music video is going to be filmed soon. I’m 100% sure it’s the song.” Said Merry. She speaks Directioner language fluently. “Aahh, alright then I guess I’ll be in that music video.” I smiled at them and the room was in silence for a good 5 seconds. Then suddenly, they all screamed and attack-hugged me to death. But Halley stopped and clapped her hands to grab our attention.

“But you should be careful, xia. I heard that one of the boys is kind of grabby and many people said he’s a flirt. And one of them has the strange obsession of carrots. Another one of them has a strange fear of spoon. And another one of them eats a lot, but never grows. And another one of them is the only muslim in the group. Just like you.” There’s a muslim in the group? Glad to know, I guess. I was pretty surprised, tho. I never thought Halley knew about those things. She doesn’t even like 1D. “How did you know? I thought you disliked them.” I asked Halley. “Well, yeah I dislike them. But hey, I watched some infotainment. And there’s a thing called ‘internet’ now.” We all let out small laughs and poked each other’s arms.

“It’s late. We should go to sleep. You want to be able to drop Nate at the airport tomorrow, right Diane?” I winked at her and pushed her shoulder with mine. Diane blushed as she looked down, and we all let out some long “ouuuhh”s. “Yeah I guess so.. It’s not that there’s something between us or anything. It’s just.. he’s your brother, xia. And youre my bestfriend so I have to be polite. Anyone wants some water?” Said Diane, trying to change the topic as the sign of self defense. Nobody responded to Diane’s question. “Ohwell, let’s just go to sleep.” We all layed down on our sleeping bags and Halley turned off the light. “Goodnight girls. Don’t let the hands crawl and grab your feet.” I said, hoping that one of them would freak out. And it worked! Merry freaked out and she moved her sleeping bag between me and Halley. We talked in the dark for a while. Diane scooted to me and whispered something in my ear. "Can you please wake me up before you guy want to drop Nate to airport? I promised him to come." I smiled and nodded. She went back to her position and layed down. The others were complaining that they couldn't sleep, but then I started to sing “On a lonely night” by A Rocket To The Moon softly. They all hummed along and fell asleep instantly.

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