It's Always Been Him

Paxia was the girl in One Direction’s “What Makes You Beautiful” Music Video. She’s half American and half Indonesian. She got close with the boys as they hung out, did stuffs together until she had to fly back to America to finish her school and all. Something was going on between her and one of the boys. And another one of the boys was secretly desperate of wanting her to be his. As life goes on, they learn what happens when they hide their feelings longer than they should.


7. A Proper Hello.. Kind of.


I woke up to the sound of a door clicking closed. I opened my eyes slowly and stared at the ceiling, staying still and trying to pull myself to a full conscious condition. I examine the environment.. A typical morning atmosphere. Not much of a difference. I expected too much from England, I guess. After I succeed at the attempt of getting myself fully awake, I moved my arms to stretch them up but they couldn’t move. I looked down and realized that I was twisted like a burrito in a blanket. Wow, I must’ve been dreaming about practicing Karate with Nate._. I untangled the blanket off of me and sat down. I peaked over my half opened door to see if anyone was in my living room. “Who’s there?” I asked, still sitting on the bed. I didn’t get any respond to my question, all I could hear was my voice’s little echos. Feels like I’m living in a haunted house. Anyways, I waited longer for a response but I heard nothing. So I shrugged and threw it away, maybe it was just my imagination or something. I lied back on the bed once more and stretched while looking over to the bedside table. There was a set of colorful little flowers joined up in pretty little grey pot, my phone, and a pretty big digital bedside clock. Gahd, alarm clocks, I hate that thing. I finished stretching and let out a loud sigh, laying myself on the bed helplessly. I reached over to the clock to grab it and check the time. Apparently, it wasn’t a decent kind of digital clock and I didn’t know how to turn it on-_- So I flipped it over in attempt to find a switch or a button or whatever. Left side; nothing. Right side; nothing. Then a yellow note dropped from the back side of the alarm clock and landed on my nose. I pulled my eyeballs together to see the writings on the note, and took it off of my nose immediately realizing that my face looked pretty damn stupid.

“Good Morning. You have a wound on your forehead. I noticed it while you were sleeping so I washed it with a damp towel and covered it up with a bandage to keep it from infection. I unpacked your stuffs, all that’s left to unpack is your small suitcase. And I’m sorry I left, I have an interview at 8ish. If you’re wondering what time did I leave; I left at 6.55. The last, thank you so much for the bed. I slept great last night :)

P.s: I made you breakfast, it’s on the kitchen table. I hope you like pancakes. X

Harry (call me haz for short) xxx”

I found myself smiling and aww-ing at the note. How sweet of him, making me breakfast and all. “He left at 6.55?” I said to myself. I looked over to the wall clock and it was 7.01. Then I let out a long ‘oh’ while nodding my head. “So the door clicking was him”. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone buzzing. At first I thought it was a text message, so I ignored it and was planning to check on it later. But it buzzed continuously. Then I realized that it was a phonecall. I reached over to it to grab it and saw Harry’s name popping out on my screen. I pulled my eyebrows together. Wait.. Harry? How the hell? His number..? On my phone..? Did I..? Did he..? What..? I let my thoughts consume my brain for too long so I missed the call. “Great. How polite of me not answering his call. Whatever.” I mumbled to myself. I stood up, threw my phone to the bed and walked over to the door. I stopped halfway when I heard it buzzed again then I quickly turned around and jumped to my bed, causing my phone and myself to bounce up and down for few times. I took the phone and answered the call, it was Harry – Yes ofcourse it was Harry, who else could it be?-_-

“Good m-“
“HEY! Sorry I missed your earlier call.” I said right away, not realizing that I cut him off. I heard him letting out some small laughs after that.

“It’s okay. Anyway, Good morning. Did i wake you up?”

“Good Morning to you too. And nope, I was awake. I woke up like about 5 minutes ago.”

“Really? I thought you’d oversleep cause I have to be honest, you slept like a ninja last night. And you talked, too.” I heard him giggling in the middle of the sentence. Shit. First day in England, already embarrassed myself in front of a teen celeb. I mentally facepalmed myself and laughed nervously.

“Ahah, yeah I do that when I feel like.. really tired.” I said while nervously scratching my nose and walked out of the bedroom. Seriously xia? That’s the best excuse you got?

“Well are you feeling any better now? Don’t forget to eat breakfast.”

“Yeah, I think. And yes I will, don’t worry, Haz.” I replied.

He giggled a little before he said something. “So you read my note, yeah?” He asked.

“Ofcourse I did.” I said while giggling and sniffed on the pancakes. It smells sooo good. I bet he’s a great cook. “But just wondering, how did your number end up in my phone?”

“Uhh..” Harry sounded a little bit nervous. “Forgive me but, I saved my own number in your phone, so we would be able to ta—I mean so it’d be easier for you to call me if you need anything.” I let out a big sigh, secretly relieved that nothing ‘weird’ happened last night. “Ohh. It’s okay. Thanks, Haz.” I said.

“You’re welcome. And anyway I have to hang up now, sorry. I’m with the boys. Talk to you later, love.” He said in his husky-somehow-seducing voice.

“Yeah sure. Goodluck with the interview.” I replied and I hung up as I sat on the kitchen counter while eating my pancake. I found myself smiling. I don’t know why it felt a little bit unusual to be called ‘love’ by a random guy—In a good way, tho. I stabbed my pancakes over and over again while still smiling and thinking about being called ‘love’. I know, I know I sound a little tacky. But hey I’m American, so I’m not used to this. It’s not like I have feelings for Harry, I’m just… flattered, being called ‘love’. And Harry’s not ugly at all. It’s natural for a girl to feel like this, right?

I finished my pancakes and went to my room to unpack my suitcase. As soon as I opened the suitcase, I felt a huge amount of laziness came to me and I sighed. “Ouch, this is a lot.” I scratched my head and stared at the piles of clothes in my suitcase. To be honest, I’m still tired. Like, I can feel my eyes screaming for another rest. But I had to do what I got to do. “Oh well, it won’t hurt.” So I decided to unpack them to the wardrobe.

Minutes has passed, I ended up sitting cris-cross on the floor, surrounded by clothes, and still have 3 more piles of clothes to unpack. My hair looked wild, sticking out at every direction, and I haven’t showered yet. Imagine the mess, guys. Imagine the mess. “Aaarrgh. Why did I bring so many clothes at the first place?” I growled and burry my face into the pile of clothes on my lap. “I’m still tired. And bored.” I huffed and complained into the pile of clothes.

I need something to get my mind off things. I sat there with my face buried in my own clothes, thinking about how to kill this boredom. Should I call Harry? Yeah I should.. Wait what? I MEAN NO. Nononono. No. He’s busy. And I just met him, for God’s sakes. I should stop depending on him this much. “What to do what to do..” I whispered. Should I leave this shit and go out? I don’t think so. This has to end now. I groaned one more time and continued thinking.. “LIGHT BULB!!” I shot my head up and jumped out from the pile of clothes. I dug my purse and took out my iPod. “Turn up the music, baby. Ouyeah.” I said to myself as I set my iPod to the speaker and turn Sleeping With Sirens’ songs. They’re my fave post-hardcore band. Their music suits me, and sets me to the highest mood whenever I feel low. I started screaming along to Do It Now Remember It Later while folding my clothes and putting them away to the wardrobe.

*later that day*

I finally finished unpacking my clothes. No wonder why Harry left it unpacked, I’m pretty sure he was devastated, seeing these much of clothes. Even I was.

I stood up and closed my suitcase and stretched my arms sideways. I yawned few times and walked over to the bedside table to check the time on my phone. 9am. And there’s a text?

“From: Harry:)” What? I thought he was having an interview.
“Interview sucked. They asked us 2 questions then we were out. Starbucks?”. I threw my punch in the air, as the sign of excitement. “FINALLY! Something fun to do.” I said to myself.

“To: Harry:)
Aww, sorry to hear. And sure, sure. But how about you pick me up first? Cause I think you forgot the fact that I’m no local.” I replied while walking to the washroom. I sent the message and placed my phone on the phone holder next to the sink. I turned on the water and started stripping down. I was about to walk into the shower then I heard my phone buzzed.

“From: Harry:)
Ahah, yeah sorry. I’ll be there in 30. Go shower! :)” I smiled at the text and replied fast, cause I found it awkward texting with a boy while you’re in the bathroom… naked…

“To: Harry:)
Sir, yes sir! :p” Sent, then I walked into the shower. I enjoyed the hot water roughly dripping on my skin, so relaxing. I rubbed my face and started thinking about life. About how I miss my mother, to be more specific. I always have deep thoughts in the shower. It’s the only place where I could let myself think about the good or bad memories without having to hold back my tears. I rubbed my face roughly and decided not to dwell over the past. I did a quick shower instead, since I know that Harry will be here in thirty minutes. I got out of the shower and wrap myself in a towel. I walked over to the sink and apply some lip gloss and a little foundation, then I walked out to my room to put on my outfit of the day; black tank for the inner and gray oversized sweatshirt for the outer, black denim shorts, and some grey combat boots. I pull my black wavy hair to the left side of my shoulder and let my right shoulder exposed. Just right then, after I finished dressing up, my phone shouted my Wild Ones ringtone, and it was Harry.

“Suuuuuuuuuuup?” I said while walking to my room to grab my handbag.

I heard Harry giggle before he started to talk. “I’m here early, on my way to your apartment door.” He told me in a very calm husky voice.

“Oh! You’re right on time. I’ll go outside soonish.” I informed Harry and stormed out to the living room. “Alright see you soon, love.” “Oh my god, Harry! Stop calling me that.” I said in a playful kind of way. Harry laughed and hung up, so I ran off outside.

I was about to close the door then I heard footsteps behind me, walking down the hall to my direction. “Ah, perfect timing. A+ for both of us.” I heard a voice behind me as it kept getting closer. I knew it was Harry so I didn’t bother turning around and tried to lock my apartment door instead. I giggled before I said something. “Oh please, it’s an A+ for me. I ran outside on time, so this epic perfect timing wouldn’t happen if I ---“ I froze as I turned around and saw Harry standing there with a very familiar guy.. My jaw dropped, my eyes were locked on him, my mind tried to rewind and recall anything that can make me remember where or when did I saw this guy. A guy with black hair, and fair tanned skin. He was texting, looking down. But somehow I recognized him..

Harry’s P.O.V
I slowed down my walking speed right after I hung up, thinking that Paxia could have more time to get ready. She told me to stop calling her ‘love’. I found myself smiling like an idiot at the thought. Could she be blushing whenever I call her love? Or she’s just not used to it? I looked down, still smiling. My thoughts were cut off by Zayn groaning and slapping his phone over and over again. What the hell is he doing? I turned my head to face him and noticed that Zayn kept up with my speed while still looking down to his phone. “Zayn, put that down for a second. You want to make a good first impression to her or no?” I asked him and slapped his chest. He just smiled at the screen, don’t know if it was a respond to my question or he just smiled at the screen like an idiot. “Whatever man, I’m pretty sure that I’m good at first impressions, I don’t even have to try.” He said while still smiling to his screen. I was about to say something but he cut me off. “Plus, you met her first so if you want to call dibs then shoot.” He winked at me and looked back to the phone. I shook my head at how confident Zayn is. Wait until he sees her right before his eyes. He’ll regret the things he said. But it’s a good thing actually, he told me to go for it. Eventhough I’m still not sure. I personally don’t believe in “Love at first sight”. So I’m not going to rush things up.

I walked down the hall with Zayn who is still looking at his phone. “Bloody hell, Zayn!” I nearly shouted at him. “Alright, alright.” He finally put down the phone and put it in his pocket. “So she’s our video girl?” He asked. I smiled for a second, knowing the fact that we’ll have the whole day with her tomorrow. The lads are going to love her, I’m sure. “Yeah. She’s adorable, trust me.” I replied, patting Zayn’s shoulder and walked in to the elevator. It was silent, until I heard Zayn mumbling something. I looked over to Zayn and he was giggling. “What’s gotten into you?” I asked him while raising my left eyebrow up. Zayn let out a final huff and started talking. “Remember that fangirl last year? Who thought you’d call her and ask her to go on a date?” Zayn asked. I faced Zayn and put my hands in my pocket, Zayn was still looking at me with a demanding expression. I stroke my chin and kept thinking. Argh, I’m a jerk. I can’t even remember her face. So I pretend to remember and pointed my index finger up. “Oh, her. Yeah, why?”. “You think she’s your next target?” Zayn asked with this creeeeeeeeepy smile on his face and nudged my tummy. I laughed at his question anyway and tried to look serious. “What? Nooo. I just met her. And she’s just too…. adorable, i can’t do that to her.” I slapped his hair playfully because I know that he hates it when I do that. “Alright alright, just get off of my hair!” he said giving up. We walked out of the elevator and Zayn’s phone rang again. I sent a death glare at Zayn and he just smiled innocently. I just shook my head and kept walking. Zayn suddenly nudged my arm multiple times which was pretty annoying (x “Lads are at Paul’s. Should we bring my Wii? It’s at Louis’ tho.” He said. Hmm.. I think it might be a good idea to introduce our video girl first before spending the whole day shooting the video with her tomorrow. I nodded before I said something. “Yeah we probably should. We’ll go to Louis’ after taking her to starbucks. And maybe we’ll take her to Paul’s too?“. Zayn nodded and looked back to his phone.

I saw Paxia rushing out of her apartment and felt myself smiling at her. “Ah, perfect timing. A+ for both of us.“ I said. I think she knew that it was me because she didn’t bother turning around and locked her door instead. “Oh please, it’s an A+ for me. I ran outside on time, so this epic perfect timing wouldn’t happen if I ---“. She turned around and revealed her face. She looks a bit different today. I think she use less make up. And her lashes were still as long as the first time I saw her at the airport. Her hair was shiny, and her slender hands looked as soft as cotton. I was too busy examining her looks until I realized that she froze, looking at Zayn from the top of his hair to the tip of his toe. I frowned at the view and felt my heart sunk a little bit. Don’t know whether she’s a huge fan of him, or she likes him so much that she can’t keep her eyes off of him. I have to be honest, I didn’t feel anything major. Okay I felt a little jealous but then it’s gone. I felt happy looking at her standing in front of me, and then it’s gone. My heart is being a douche bag at the moment. So I decided to turn my Jerk mode on. I shook my thoughts and rolled my eyes at them. I looked at Paxia, at Zayn, and back to Paxia again. She barely noticed I was there. So I cleared my throat and I could tell she was pulled back to reality, while Zayn’s eyes were still locked to his phone, texting with Liam. “So, Zayn this is Paxia. Paxia this is Zayn.” I said to them two to break the ‘lovey dovey’ atmosphere. Zayn shot his head up with a surprised expression on his face, while Paxia was still looking at Zayn with a smile glued on her face and waved at him. They smiled at each other for a while, not saying a word. And I just stood there, freezing like an idiot looking at these lovebirds.

Zayn’s P.O.V
“So she’s our video girl?” I asked Harry while walking down the hall. “Yeah. She’s adorable, trust me.” He replied while patting on my shoulder. I nodded in reply then we walked into the elevator. Hah. Harry always thinks every girl is adorable, and girls always fall for his charm. Like the one we met last year. There was a crazed fangirl who kept calling Harry out and told him that she wanted his babies. Harry and I decided to take her to another world for a while. So harry ended up asking for her number, but didn’t call anyway. I found myself laughing at my own thoughts. I think Harry noticed that i was actually laughing, he turned his head to face me and said something. “What’s gotten into you?” Harry asked me. I turned my head to face Harry and he was looking at me weirdly. “Remember that fangirl last year? Who thought you were going to call her and ask her on a date?” I asked. Harry faced me and pulled his eyebrows together. He put his hands in his pockets and took some time to recall the memory. He finally shot his index finger up and widened his eyes. “Oh, her. Yeah, why?” He asked. I leaned a little closer to Harry’s ear and whisper. “You think she’s your next target?” I asked with a goofy smile on my face, while raising my eyebrows and nudged his stomach. “What? Noooo. I just met her. And she’s just too…. adorable, i can’t do that to her.” Harry said and slapped my hair playfully. Since when Harry can’t pull a prank on a girl? xD But whatever happened to him, I need to stop him from ruining my hair. It’s like my best asset. “Alright alright, just get off of my hair!” I repaired my hair to it’s normal position. Right after Harry stopped from doing whatever he was doing which could ruin my hair, I felt my phone vibrated in my pocket. I tried to take it out but I could feel Harry’s death glare at me. I looked over to him and I was right. I gave him the most innocent smile I could ever form and took my phone out to check. Thank God it wasn’t lagged anymore.

“From: Liam:B
We’ll be at Paul’s til tomorrow. So don’t come home to Lou’s, we’ll be waiting for both of you”. I stopped my track and nudged Harry’s arm multiple times. He finally turned his head to me and I started talking. “Lads are at Paul’s. Should we bring my Wii? It’s at Louis’ tho.” I said to him. He stopped walking and stroked his chin. “Yeah we probably should. We’ll go to Lou’s after taking her to starbucks. And maybe we’ll take her to Paul’s too?“. I nodded in agreement. “Yeah okay.” We continued walking as I tried to reply Liam’s text.

“To: Liam:B
Sure bro. We’ll be” I stopped typing, and my phone stopped working. Aaaargh this phone is a total crap. I kept slapping my phone and shook it roughly. “Ah, perfect timing. A+ For both of us.” I heard Harry said. I was still looking down to my phone, but I saw a girl’s feet right in front of us. I guess we’re facing the girl now. My phone still lagged, I need to tell Liam that we’ll bring a company with us. Or else, he wouldn’t leave us some pizzas. I heard the girl said something, but I didn’t really pay attention to it. Too busy panicking on Pizzas! I need Liam to save it for the three of us before Niall eats it all. As I kept tapping on my phone, I felt the girl’s eyes on me. But I continued typing anyway. Maybe she’ll say hi as soon as she found out that I’m “the Zayn Malik”. Gahd, why can’t they just notice me as Zayn. Not “Zayn Malik from One Direction”?. It all went quiet, I didn’t notice until Harry cleared his throat. And my phone was still in the same condition. Times like this I want to throw this thing and get a new one. “So, Zayn this is Paxia. Paxia this is Zayn.” I nodded and kept punching my phone in attempt to make it work. “Zayn, please for once don’t be a gadget maniac.” Harry said. I sighed and gave up. “Fine.” I slapped my phone one more time and slid it to my pocket. Harry introduced me again to the girl while I was still putting my phone to my pocket; “So, Zayn this is Paxia.” Wait.. What? I shot my head up and stared at the girl. There’s a girl in front of me, smiling at me. I couldn’t help myself from smiling back. The warm feeling consumed the best of me when she widened her smile at me. “Paxia?” I asked curiously. She looked puzzled. “Uh.. Zayn?” She replied with a little giggle. I let out a small laugh but our eyes were still locked on each other’s. “V-va-vas happen—ning?” I said awkwardly, with my eyes still locked on her, trying to examine her looks. Is this her? I’m not sure. She laughed as soon as I said that. “Hahahah, nothing much. Hi, by the way.” She said back, still smiling a smile that represents a genuine happiness. “Hi.” I said while still smiling, still guessing, and still asking myself whether it’s her or not. I swear this girl looks a lot like the girl I saw yesterday. I looked at her again, just smiled at her. Neither of us said a word. Her black hair was pulled to her left shoulder, her beautiful deep brown eyes stared right into mine for a long time but it feels like seconds. “Hello? Did I say your name wrong?” She moved her head a little as her soft hands familiarly waved at me in an awkward way. “That wave. It looks..” I thought to myself. Then I shot my eyes open. My brain worked and decided to let me remember who she is. I looked at her in disbelief. This is her. This is her, I’m sure.

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