She was amazing. The way she sat there and let the music just take over. I had never seen anything so pure in my life. With every note she put everything she had into it. That’s what made a performance. Emotion. And she had so much of it, you could feel the music and the painful beauty she played and sung with.
It bought tears to my eyes.
As soon as we got to the hotel, it was clear that Louis wasn’t going to tell us anything yet. He wasn’t in the right mindset, so I had made my way downstairs and asked the lady at the front desk for the key to the suite above. At first she had been quite resistant, but once I explained I knew the girls and recounted their names, gave her an autograph and a picture, she finally gave me the key and I made my way up. I knew if I had just knocked on their door, they would have thrown me out telling me now was not the time, but I had to know how she was holding up. I had to know if she was alright.
In The Eye she had looked so broken and torn part. Even though she had a brave face on, and hid it all behind her mask of indifference, giving everyone a blank vacant look, I could tell how much it was tearing her apart to be in such a confined space with someone whom she did not wish to be around. I had tried to smile at her, to let her know that it would be alright, that although I didn’t understand, I wasn’t going to judge. I think she had understood me as well seeing as she had smiled back. It was a small smile, but it was real.
When I had walked into their hotel room, I could hear movement from the room adjacent to the lounge, so I made my way over to the door which obviously led into a bedroom. I paused considering whether I should walk in or leave.
It was then that they started to talk.
As she recounted her story, I couldn’t help but feel sick. She had gone through so much from such a young age. It wasn’t right. She should have been able to leave her house and be excited for school rather than dread what torture was to come. I listened getting sicker as she continued, I could hear her friends’ small sobs and I just wanted to join them and hug her close, to protect her from the world.
When she told them about the cutting, I almost ran into the room. She was too beautiful to have to go through something like that, yet there she was, telling them about how Louis had catapulted her into physical damage to herself. Louis Tomlinson. The man I considered as my brother, friend and band mate.
The story finished though and I was frozen. I knew I should have left before she came back, but I couldn’t move. I was so mad. So angry at Louis. He had told us such a vague recount of what had happened when they were younger. It was nothing compared to how she had recounted it. But I knew. I knew there was more to it than she was letting on. There was a vital part of the story that she was keeping to herself.
It wasn’t my place to push for answers though. I had to leave it up to her to reveal what she was keeping hidden.
There was a small part of me that knew in order to get the full story, the true account of what had happened, we had to get Lou's side as well. I wasn’t calling Scarlet a liar, but I knew that what she recounted had been her point of view and hers alone. We needed to know Louis' as well if we were to get to the bottom of the story.
All these thoughts were running through my head as she played the eerily beautiful music. I was shocked she hadn’t thrown me out when she had found out I was eavesdropping. Shocked that instead she had smiled and looked slightly relieved like she needed the company. We had sat drinking hot chocolate when I finally picked up the courage to ask her if I could see the scars. She did so willingly. As I ran my fingers over the little scarred slits on her wrists, I couldn’t help but get mad. Especially when I saw the slits getting bigger.
It was around then that she had gone to play the piano.
As she finished the last note of the song, I looked at her as she opened her eyes, and smiled.
“That was beautiful,” I said as she got up and made her way over to me.
“It wasn’t that good…” She said blushing and looking shocked at the complement, “I’m not a very good singer so excuse my voice. I’ve never really sung in front of people, or anyone for that matter since I was little kid… I sung in front of Rebecca once and I kind of never sung after that. I was really screechy and it was getting me unwanted attention, so I stopped. No one knows I sing… if you can call it singing…” She began to ramble. It was now my turn to look shocked.
“You have an amazing voice!” I said adamant. While she looked at me with disbelief, until she finally began to accept that I was telling the truth.
“Really?” She asked and I nodded. “Really.” I said. It was at that moment when she smiled a huge smile and tackled me in a hug, which I returned laughing at her reaction. The smile alone had lit her face up in such beauty it was hard to look away.
Once she let go, we just sat there talking and laughing. She was opening up, sure she was doing it slowly, but it was more than before.
At around 3am she fell asleep on my shoulder and not wanting to disturb her, I let her be; shifting slightly so that I was lying on my back and her head was resting on my chest. I grabbed a small comforter which had been left on the back of the couch and placed it over her, closing my eyes to sleep as well.
The next morning I woke up before anyone else. I was just lying there with my arms wrapped around Scarlet’s waist, when I heard some noise from the other room, and then her friends all walked out, rubbing their eyes, yawning.
When they saw me though, they froze up. “What are you doing here, Zayn?” asked Sophie. It seemed she was the talker of the group. I just smiled up at them all.
“Morning ladies,” I said, “I’ve been here all night. I kept Scarlet company after you all went to bed.
They all looked at me shocked as realisation hit them, “you know?” asked Luce, the girl whom I guessed was slightly closer to Scar than the rest.
“Yeah, I kinda heard her telling you guys through the door. I knew I shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but I couldn’t move after she started the story,” They all just nodded, accepting that if their friend was happy with sharing her story with me then they were as well.
“We didn’t wake you did we?” Asked Ella, “we can be a bit loud in the mornings” She said sheepishly, but I just smiled and shook my head.
“Nah, strange as it may be, I woke up a while ago. Which is weird cause I love to sleep.” I told them, they all just shared a look and said “we know” at the same time.
Then blushing, Ells added, “We’re fans remember, we’ve seen the tweets about you and your need to sleep from you and the others” just then, Scarlet stirred, but didn’t wake up.
This seemed to remind Luce of something. “Di-did she ever wake up in the middle of the night, you know screaming or just gasping for breath?” she asked stumbling a little at the beginning sounding unsure of whether she should ask or not.
I just shook my head. “She didn’t make a peep… well she did get this look on her face like she was having a nightmare, but I just rubbed her back a bit and hummed a tune and she calmed down.” The girls all just grinned.
“Well, we’re just going to freshen up and have a shower. You can drop Scar on her bed if you like and go inform your friends that you’re alive” said Sophie. I just shook my head telling them I was comfortable where I was.
Half an hour later my phone began to ring, but I couldn’t be arsed to move and answer it, and a few minutes after it stopped ringing, the girls came back out. They were all dressed and ready for the new day.
Ella was in the kitchen getting ready to make everyone breakfast when there was a knock on the hotel room door which caused Scarlet to begin to stir and wake up. She mumbled a ‘go away’ before shifting a little, still not opening her eyes. The girls all laughed at her as they made their way to the door, where a very worried looking Niall was waiting with Liam, Louis, and Harry.
It was then that Niall send in a very loud voice “WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN ZAYN?!” making Scarlet jump and fall to the fall to the floor only to get up and stumble around clearly half asleep muttering “I’m up, I’m up…no need to yell…”
This was too funny and everyone started laughing at her. Well, everyone except for Louis. He looked slightly star struck looking at her. It was clear to everyone he was in love with her; the problem was the elephant in the room. She hated him. Well, she didn’t really hate HIM she just hated what he had done. But as soon as he saw me emerge from the couch Scar had fallen off, his look turned to that of pissed off envy.
Zayn was missing and the boys were all worried. I wasn’t. I already had a feeling where he might be, so we made our way up to the suite above ours. The entire way up I was panicking. What would I say to her if she answered the door?
Luckily though it was Sophie who answered, but she had such a look of pure hatred directed at me that I knew Scar had told them about our past. I simply looked down at the ground and stood back as Niall yelled at Zayn. They had obviously seen him further in the room.
I took I step in and was just able to see Scarlet fall to the floor and jump up still half asleep. It was hard for me to look away, she was still so beautiful. I wondered what my parents would say if they knew what had happened. Mum loved Scarlet as much as I did and Lottie looked up to her like an older sister. It had hurt them just as much as it had hurt me when she had moved away with her family. Mum was best friends with, Steph, who was Scar’s mum, and when they had left without even a goodbye, it hurt her all the more.
I looked back at the couch and saw just in time, the grinning head of Zayn pop up smiling and grinning at Scar as she tried to get a handle on her surroundings. She seemed a lot more relaxed now than she did yesterday, probably because she was yet to spot me.
I watched as she pulled herself together long enough to understand what had happened and blushed down at a still smiling Zayn. I couldn’t help but stare at him with jealous fury, wishing it was me she was looking at rather than him.
Soon though Scar looked around at everyone else and her eyes finally landed on mine. Rather than the blank look she had yesterday though, she simply guarded her emotions from her eyes. It was then that she looked around at the rest of our group and spoke out loud, “you guys are all welcome to stay for breakfast if you want; I’m just going to have a shower…” She said turning to go.
Before she could take more than a few steps though, Ella grabbed her arm “oh no you don’t! You know we can’t cook.”
“MAKE US FOOOOOD SCAR! I’m hungry!” added Luce, stomach grumbling as emphasis. Scarlet just laughed and it was a genuine laugh, the same laugh as when we were younger. It was the sound of bells tinkling together. I couldn’t help but smile.
“I’m sure Harry can make you all something to eat,” she said with a wink in Harry’s direction. Harry looked scandalised. He could barely make enough food for all of us, let alone three other people, “Oh and we can eat Harry, We can eat A LOT!” She said laughing as she turned to leave for her room again.
“But S, it won’t be the same!” Pouted Ella before she could get too far.
“Your cooking really is delectable, Scar. And I would really appreciate some French toast this morning…” Said Sophie sheepishly.
“How about we all go and change first then we can all meet here again in say… half an hour?” said Liam. Scarlet let out a sigh.
“Fiiiine, you all go have your showers and I’ll meet you all back here in an hour tops. And bring supplies. We only have so much.” She said taking charge. Everyone just nodded and Zayn even saluted her while she rolled her eyes. “Alright then. What are you waiting for? GO!” She said basically kicking us all out of the hotel room.
Forty five minutes later we were heading back upstairs. I was in jitters the whole way up.
When we finally got to the hotel room, the door was left slightly ajar for us and there was a commotion from inside. It seemed like the girls were trying to drag the piano from one side of the rom to the other.
“Need another set of hands?” Asked Liam smiling at them.
“…Or five…” I muttered, knowing how much that thing would weigh. It wasn’t as low as I thought it was though, because I got curious glances from all around the room. “What? That thing will weigh a tonne! You’re going to need more than another pair of hands…” I told them all, blushing slightly under Scarlet’s gaze.
“You still play?” She asked with a raised eyebrow, still defensive, but at least she was talking to me.
“I stopped for a while, but I started again when I auditioned for x factor.” She simply nodded, leaving the room open for an awkward silence.
“We bought food…” said Niall trying to break the tension, and it worked; his comment making everyone laugh.
“Just drop it off in the kitchen and then all of you come and help me move this piano to the other side to the room.”
“Why do you even want to move it there Scar?” asked Luce, looking annoyed at how heavy the piano was.
“It was facing the wall. I don’t like to look at a wall when I play…” She said then covered her mouth as she realised what she had said. I looked at her intrigued even more than before, “You play?” I asked her. She looked at me and smiled a weird smile. It wasn’t a happy smile, but it wasn’t a sarcastic one either. “Ironic how I just asked you that a minute ago… but yes, I play…. Not in front of people though. So don’t ask for a show.” She said as Ella opened her mouth to ask something, but then quickly shut it again at Scarlet’s comment, looking slightly let down.
Zayn just grinned like an idiot from where he was helping move the piano, while Scar just glared at him. He didn’t seem to care though, winking at her cheekily, making her stick her tongue out at him. This banter in turn made me even more jealous.
It took us about ten minutes to get the piano from one end of the room to the other, all of us putting a huge effort into it. Once we were done, everyone collapsed onto the couches and caught their breath, when suddenly, Niall's stomach began to rumble and everyone laughed.
“Alright people, food.” Scarlet said getting up. “We’re going to need all our man power to get it ready as soon as possible. Kay, this is how it will work. Harry, you’re with me in the kitchen doing the actual cooking, Zayn, you Soph and Luce just stand around helping us, start by chopping the veges.”
“CARROTS!” I said before I could stop myself, making everyone laugh including her.
“Still have your weird obsession I see,” She said before continuing, “Liam, I’m going to give you the hardest job of all, I need you to keep Niall and Ells out of the kitchen.” Liam looked aghast, but nodded anyway. He was just as hungry as the rest of us.
“What about superman? What does superman do?” I asked, looking around excited about what job I’d get.
“You, superdork, you can go and stand in the corner waaaaaaay over there, but first set up the table.” Scarlet said, her eyes shining, when she saw the look of horror on my face. She had given me the lamest job.
“Bu—” I began, before she interrupted me, “Do you want to have another kitchen fiasco like last time? Remember what happened?” I couldn’t believe she had bought that up.
I blushed. “That was not my fault… no one told me I couldn’t do that…” I said giving my lame excuse, while she just grinned at me, mischief shining in her eyes. At least she wasn’t glaring me down.
“What? What did he do?” Asked Harry looking excited at the idea of having blackmail over me.
“He blew up a microwave…” Everyone just stared at her and she grinned back, giving me an evil look at which I glared, making her smile even more as she began to cook. “You see, Pooie Louis here,” I glared at her some more, she always called me that when she knew I hated it, “went through a phase where he would wear chains on everything and one day he was in a rush and needed his favourite jeans to dry, so he decided to use the microwave to dry them. What he didn’t realise was that you can’t put metal in the microwave, and his jeans had chains on them. Needless to say things went kaboom and he ruined the cake me and Lottie had been baking. Aunt Jay never let him into the kitchen again. He cried for days cause he lost his favourite jeans.”
Everyone just stared at me like I had grown a second head, making me blush. She was so going down for this. Well she would have been if the food hadn’t have been ready just then.
We all made our way over to the table which I had set up as Scar told the story. My mouth began to water as the food was placed on the table. It all looked delicious.
As we all sat down I thought about this morning. I was mortified that I had fallen asleep on Zayn, but he had seemed to find it all very hilarious. I was shocked when my eyes met with Louis', I thought that it would hurt to look into his eyes, but surprisingly I felt fine. Probably because I had finally told my story… well most of it.
Being around Louis, had felt surprisingly normal and talking about the good memories were fine. As long as no one bought up anything about school when we were younger. But I knew that I was only comfortable now because I had my friends and the boys surrounding me. If it had been just me and Louis, I’m pretty sure I would have broken down.
Breakfast was delicious.
Harry was a great cook and together we made mean chefs. As soon as breakfast was over I looked over at him and grinned said, “Harry mate, we ROCK!” At which everyone laughed, and Harry nodded vehemently, leaning over the table to high five me.
This was a mistake though, because I forgot I was wearing a t-shirt and my scars were visible.
“What’s that?” Asked Niall innocently, not knowing otherwise. Soon everyone was staring at my wrists as I tried to cover everything up, pretending it was nothing.
“I don’t know about you guys, but I’m stuffed! Bags not cleaning the dishes!” I said forcing a smile on my face, trying to change the subject. I wasn’t going to get away with it that easy though, I saw Liam open his mouth to say something, but before he had the chance I continued, “Actually, I think I might do the dishes…” and got up taking my plate with me.
Before I could get to far though, I felt someone hand wrap around my wrist, and I jerked back. It was like I had a rush of electric current run through my body from where his had had made contact with my skin. And now that it was gone, it felt like it was on fire. I raised my eyes to look into the very eyes of the one and only Louis Tomlinson.
“Don’t touch me.” I hissed at him, his eyes, along with everyone else’s, widening under the venom in my voice.
“Sc-Scar, what happened there?” Asked Liam hesitantly, yet curious.
“I did.” Was my only response.