The box was painted gold, that was the only thing she requested for after she’d died. She
didn’t want a massive send off, but that was the only way I could think of to give her the
goodbye she’d earnt. When I found out she’d got pancreas cancer, I locked myself away in my
room and pushed everyone out of my life. The stress was too big for me to handle, so it took a
lot for me to be here today. To say goodbye.
“Trish, you have to stand up. They’re bringing in the coffin.” I looked up through my tear
stained eye lashes at my elder brother, Ethan. I immediately followed his instructions, and
stood. Refusing to look at the coffin that was gradually making its way down to the front of the
“We are gathered here today, to mourn the loss of the 12 year old girl, Lacey Turnball…”
I knew she wouldn’t want me to cry, to long for her to hold my hand and tell me everything
would be alright, but the tears fell from my eyes like a tsunami. It wasn’t just me though, as
the more lines the priest said, the more people started to cry. I’m surprised there wasn’t an
actual tsunami slowly forming within the hall.
I looked around at all of the people here, mostly people from school – she was a popular kid
in her year (grade 6). I didn’t know half of the people she did, as I was a senior (grade 11). I
know, it’s kinda sad that my best friend was 5 years younger than me, but it didn’t bother us.
And now, I’m going to keep aging, whereas she won’t. That’s something most people don’t
understand about us, about why we bothered staying best friends for 7 years with that much
of an age gap.
As I’d finished scanning the room, I noticed that the priest had stopped talking, and now it
was Lacey’s dad, Steve. He was a chubby bloke, but he was a laugh. This day, however, he
didn’t make a single joke, which is what everyone respected about him. He knew the right and
wrong time for joking around.
“So Lace, if you’re up there, and watching us right now…I want you to know how much we
ALL love you. Rest in peace.” At this point he was bawling his eyes out like the rest of us.
“Patricia Leary, I believe you have a poem you’d like to say?” That was my name. But I
couldn’t go up there in front of all of these people, there must have been thousands. Ok, so,
not really thousands, but a LOT. I just couldn’t do it. So I had the choice between humiliation
and shame, or doing the respectful thing and making Lacey proud. As usual, I chose the
humiliation option, and ran out of the door, wiping my eyes. As I burst through the door I
heard sighs from the people in the hall, but I didn’t care to be honest, I just wanted to get out
of there. Fast.
The sunlight hurt my eyes, as all around me inside the hall was black, black and more black.
The only light let in was from the tiny windows at the back of the hall.
I had no idea where I was, but I ran and ran, until I couldn’t breathe anymore, and had no
choice but to stop. I collapsed onto the floor beneath me as my legs gave way, and cried as if
there’d be no tomorrow.
I must have fallen asleep because when I opened my eyes, it was pitch black outside. It
looked just like the hall…the funeral! They must have finished hours ago…and I wasn’t there
to say goodbye. Trust me, I’ve always been unreliable, and I promised myself that just this
once, maybe I’d do something right. I couldn’t even do that it turns out.
I remembered I’d put my phone and make-up bag in my handbag that morning, knowing
that I’d need to reapply my mascara from all of the crying. I wasn’t wrong. I looked into my
compact mirror, and shined my phone light onto it. I looked like a panda, literally. My
eyeliner and mascara had created circles around my eyes, and my foundation had rubbed off.
The only thing that was as it should be, was my eyeshadow, since its waterproof. I’m an idiot
for not buying waterproof mascara, knowing this day was coming.
I decided I couldn’t be bothered to do anything about it, so I turned to my phone and looked
at the time. It was 12:30…pm obviously. Dang it! I was gonna be so dead when I got home.
That was, if I didn’t die out here on the rough streets of Florida. Well, at least either way, I’d
end up with Lacey again, with a whole load more everlasting memories to create and share
with her in the afterlife. If there’s such thing as that.
I decided it was time I should be getting home, whether something bad happened to me on
my way there or not. I had to do it sometime. And it was starting to get cold outside so I
decided it was now or die from coldness.
I’d taken no more than 20 steps before I came across a man who was perched on the
doorstep of a nearby shop. I walked over to him.
“Hey, are you alright?” I reached my hand out to touch his shoulder, but as he looked up and
saw my hand reaching out towards him, his body shifted as far back as it could, so I paused
and brought my hand back to my body. “Hey, I’m not gonna hurt you, ok?”
The man nodded his head as I carried on, “Here, you can have this…” I gave him $10; it was
all I had in my purse. I felt sorry for the man, because I’d just slept on the floor for a couple of
hours and already I was freezing cold and my body ached from the bruises that were forming.
The man smiled, and nodded his head, showing he was grateful. He bent his head
downwards, and fell asleep, so I walked away. I smiled at how unselfish I’d just been, how
unlike me it was. Maybe, as tragic as it sounds, maybe Lacey’s death was somehow a good
thing, as it had made me realise a lot, and by that, I meant it had definitely turned my life
I arrived home about 10 minutes after that, and as soon as I stepped inside the house, my
smile faded. I knew something was about to happen. I could just tell that something was
wrong. It was too quiet. I thought maybe it was because my parents were asleep or something,
so I went to the fridge and got out a soda. At least I could end the day with a bit of happiness
because the rest of the day obviously hadn’t done that. I opened it, tapping the top 4 times to
stop it from spraying everywhere first of course, and walked into the lounge to watch some TV
while drinking it. Serious multi-tasking was about to take place, when I halted at the door I’d
just opened to enter the lounge.
There were 2 people in there with my mom and dad; they were dressed in black uniform,
with a gun tied to both of their left hips. Police.
“Anyone wanna tell me what’s going on in here?” I was speaking with an attitude by
accident, but I was seriously freaking out.
“Ma’am, Sir, is this your daughter?”
“Yes! It is! Oh, hunny, I’m-We’re so glad you’re home!” My mom got up and hugged me.
“Of course I’m home, mom…I live here too ya’no…”
“Anne, don’t. Shes here now,” my dad said to my mom, then he turned to the police and
said, “Sorry for wasting your time, officers. I’ll see you out.”
“Ok, well if this happens again, just know that we’ll have to keep your daughters
whereabouts in our database back at HQ. Just, call us if it happens again.”
“Thank you, officers.” My mom and dad nodded in their direction, then the police nodded
back, seriously…what’s with all the nodding. I joint in too, I felt left out.
“What in tarnation where you thinking, running off like that?! Do you realise how
embarrassing that is?! No, because you’re so self-center-” My dad shouted at me, until my
mom interrupted him,
“Gerald! Stop! You can’t really blame her! She’s just lost her best friend for Christ sake!
Have some sympathy!”
“Thanks mom, go to hell dad.” I slammed the door behind me and stomped upstairs like the
5 year old I am, and slammed my bedroom door as well. I could hear my dad going off at my
mom about how disrespectful I am and how she shouldn’t have stuck up for me the way she
did, so I threw the pillow I was hugging and crying into at my bedroom door and went to sleep
in my bed.
“Wake up, Trish. You have school in…20 minutes.” My mom called from behind my
“Go away!” I screamed back.
“Look, hunny” she said, entering my bedroom and perching awkwardly on the edge of my
bed. “Do you want the day off school? I know how much you must be grieving for Lacey. She
was such a lovely chil-”
“MOM! I don’t wanna hear it! Just leave. Me. Alone! OK?” I instantly regretted yelling at my
mom, but it worked. It got her out of my room, and me a day off of school. But she was right, I
was mourning Lacey’s death, and I knew that if I went to school today I’d just end up sitting
in one of the toilet stalls crying, then I’d be made fun of for having panda eyes. Then I
remembered about the homeless guy I’d helped a little last night, I smiled a little. Then my
dad came into my room.
“Get up for school now, you useless piece of-”
“Gerald. Get out of her room. I won’t tell you again. Shes got the day off of school, I just
called them and told her shes not going in today, so leave her be.”
He gave me one last warning look before exiting my room. I cried into my pillow again, and
stayed like that until lunchtime, when I got hungry.
“Mum! MUM! I’m hungry! Get me som-” I was astounded at what I saw before me, when I
pushed open the kitchen door. “Mum? Mum?! No, no…not again…”
My mum was laid down on the floor, lying on her back. I was whimpering the word mum
over and over again, she couldn’t be…no, she just couldn’t. I brushed her hair away from her
face, and I saw blood pouring out of her mouth.
“NO!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, over and over again.
I looked down, expecting the worst, so I wasn’t surprised to see a knife stuck into her heart.
It was the knife she used to chop the vegetables, the one actually, that she used yesterday for
the roast dinner they had when I was outside, giving money to homeless people.
Suddenly, an adrenaline rush forced me to throw everything out of the fridge, and the broom
out the window. I didn’t know what was doing through my mind. I just needed to destroy
everything. I took the knife out of my mum’s corpse, and rolled my jumper’s sleeve upwards. I
made at least 5 long, deep cuts into my skin. I knew it was crazy, and that I’d regret it, but
after I’d done it, I curled up into a ball, got the bleach out of the cupboard, and drank it
straight out of the bottle, knowing that there was nothing anybody could to do save me.