*7 months LATER*
"Im so glad you came, its not to early is it?". Kate ask me, holding up two beautiful bridemades dresses. "No, I'm fine". I say to her with empty eyes. Her bump is big, round and innocent. Mine should be about that size now, I should be craddling my tummy and laughing at the small flutters that are the kicks of my small baby. I look away from her stomach and back at the dresses. "I like that one better". I say grabbing it and turning around to try it one. Its a light peach color with a white bow wrapped around it, matches her wedding dress bow. The baby is due in two months and the wedding in 6 weeks, everyones rushing around with smiles on there faces excited about the two new additions to the Horan family. I just keep faking a smile and grin and bare it, how would you feel if you killed your baby girl? I dont what the baby was, but I have a feeling, I know the baby was a girl. My little Angel, and my careless acts got her killed. How could I get pregeant if me and Harry where so careful? Turns out you can't leave condoms in a wallet or purse beacuse they get hot and bust, little did we know.
"Babe, I'm home". I lay on the couch running my fingers over my flat, empty stomach. When I hear Harry, I wipe away a tear and roll over, removing my hands. I worry him when I do this. "Hey". I mummble to him in a weak, small voice. Damn me, I cuse. Be strong. "Hey". He replies, he can hear the sadness. He walks over to me and sits on the couch laying my head on his lap. Believe it or not the sadness got better, I used to cry and cry. Wouldnt eat, just cry and sleep. I didnt even talk, onlt to my parents and Harry. Me and Liam got into a huge fight but we made up. He blammed himself and I was mad that he keep saying that. Him and Dani got back together, I'm happy for them. Harry plays with my hair and sighs. "You can't keep doing this to yourself, Kris". I wipe away a tear. "I know, I just feel so guilty". "I do to,but I'm handeling it better then you".I smile. "Thats because you are the man and you are trying to stay strong for me". I feel one of his tears drop down on my face and he wipes it off my cheek. "I think we need to talk to someone". I would jump on him and tell him hes crazy but I dont, hes right. "Okay". I say, he leans down and kisses me. "I love you". I say. "I love you".
"I feel so blank, like theres one thing missing. And there is one thing missing, my baby bump. And everytime I tell myself I'm going to be okay I look at Kate". I begin to cry. " And her tummy moves with life, she smiles and her face lights up with joy, Niall rubs her tummy and smiles like a proud father. I was there when we painted the nursery a beautiful purple and set up the bed and smiled with hope. And I smile and tell her how happy I am, but I'm not. I hate it, I hate her. I hate how she has everything I dont have. She has the baby I killed".
*Session 10, three weeks to wedding, Kate 8 mths*
"I'm getting better. I don't feel jealous of Kate anymore, Harry and I are getting better. We fixed up our house and we both decided that I would contuine to go to school, I've had to make up a lot of stuff but I'm passing most of my classes. I even got a job at a family clinic". I smile as she writes down more things. "Me and Kate are getting stronger each day, I no longer force a smile, they are true. I open up to her more, I even had the strength to touch her tummy, and I cried a little when the baby moved under my hand. It wasent sad tears, more like tears of joy. I was happy and felt connected to the baby. I have helped out more with the wedding and am bestfriends again with Liam. My life, is good. Theres not a day I dont wake up and think of Angel, but its not a burden anymore. I know that God is with her. Although I did pursure the case and made sure the drunk driver was sent to life in prision. Not so much out of anger and hate but he needed to be put away for murder, I couldnt live with myself if I knew he was still out able to hurt others and I didnt help put him to jail. I guess you can say I'm better, healed. I'm happy".
*DAY OF WEDDING, KATE 8mths*
I cried when she waltzed down the aile like a princess. She looked so pretty, it was blinding. All the boys cried as Niall said "I do". Harry and I laughed druing that quite moment and was sent glares by the pastor, we where just so happy it was hard to hide it. We danced and danced and laughed with everyone. Her wedding was big and beautiful. Guess who caught the flowers, me ;) and when it came time to toast I was a big baby. "Kate is my bestfriend, she happened to be the one everyone loved, the Cheerleader who smiled and was nice to everyone. I on the other had was our schools most wanted. *we all laugh* so it was a puzzle to everyone why I was her second half and she was my second half. Even more when she loved One Direction and I hated One Direction. But if it wasent for Kate I wouldn't have met Harry, the love of my life. She wouldnt be married to Horan and we wouldnt know any of you beautiful people that we know today. I am so happy for you baby, Niall goodluck with getting her to cook a non burnt dinner, you might be eating Nandos for the rest of your life". We all laughed and toasted. But the biggest surprise happened when Kate screamed "Babys COMING!".