’ve been through many unpleasant hangovers but this one was probably the worst so far in my life. Not only did it feel like my head was about to explode, my mouth was awfully dry and I honestly think that what I was feeling is what death feels like. I lazily rubbed my eyes as I tried to get used to the light and sighed heavily as I realized I was all alone in Harry’s bed. Of course, that was foolish of me to even hope in the first place that I’d find an adorable Harry still sleeping by my side in the morning. I turned around to look at the time and gasped as I saw it was already 1 in the afternoon. I got up a bit too quickly which made me feel dizy a little but after a couple of seconds my balance returned to it’s normal self. After putting on my jacket that was lying on the floor, I noticed a tall glass of water on the nightstand, next to 2 advils, just right there; waiting for me. I smiled a little at Harry’s nice little gesture. It wasn’t long before I gulped down the advils and finished the glass so I immediately made my way out of his room. I was expecting an horrifying mess after all the events from last night but I was gladly surprised to see that the house didn’t look that bad. It all made sense when I got into the living room and found Zayn, Niall, Liam and Louis cleaning up the place. Louis noticed my presence and smiled brightly.
“And she’s alive! ” He exclaimed, laughing like an idiot. I rolled my eyes and playfully slapped his arm as I noticed Harry was MIA.
“Why did you guys let me sleep? I could have helped you out with the cleaning and stuff! ” I laughed, as a I let myself fall on the couch.
“ It was our party so therefore; our mess to clean. ” Liam said with an adorable grin on his face. I smiled back to him and watched them clean in silence for awhile. It was nice, the silence. My head was pounding and the last thing I needed was loud noises and whatnot. Curiosity took over my body as I heard noises coming from the kitchen. Perhaps, this was where Mr. Styles was hiding. I silently got up and quickly made my way to the kitchen where I found Harry, sitting at the table drinking tea and reading the papers. The faint sound of my footsteps caught his attention and he looked up to meet my eyes. I smiled shyly as I sat down on the chair opposite to him. He didn’t say anything, he just took a sip of his tea and kept on reading like I wasn’t there at all. I sighed in annoyance as I lowered the papers he was reading with my left hand. I winced a bit since it was my injured hand but I tried my best not to show I was in pain.
“Can we talk… Please? ” I said, looking at him straight in the eyes. He let go of the papers and blinked questioningly at me.
“What is there to talk about..? ” He asked, sipping on his tea like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“Well, about last night… You and me. ” I stated; trying to make it clear that he wasn’t going to get out of this conversation that easily.
“I took care of your drunkass… There’s nothing to talk about. ” I crossed my arms as I glared at him. This was definitely not what I expected.
“Look, we were both drunk and we said things we didn’t mean. It’s alright, I understand. We’re cool, yeah? ” He simply said, without a hint of happiness in his face. He almost looked upset, which I did not understand at all.
“Why are you always doing this? ” I said as I leaned closer to the table. He frowned as he took another sip of his beverage.
“Doing what!? ” He said, his tone getting a bit defensive. Why was I not surprised? It was now impossible to have a decent conversation with him anyways.
“Everytime we make a little progress, you just step back and pretend like it never happened! ” I said through gritted teeth, still glaring at him. I mean, it was actually kind of nice last night. We cuddled… He told me he could never hate me. It was the nicest he’s been ever since he got in America. I was ecstatic about it but looks like it meant nothing apparently.
“That’s a bit ironic coming from you. ” He scoffed as he got up to place his empty mug in the dishwasher. I got up and followed him.
“What’s that supposed to mean!? ” I hissed, getting angrier by the second.
“Let’s just say that I’m you from 2 years ago. ” He smiled arrogantly as he turned around to face me, wanting me to see his stupid sarcastic smile to hurt me obviously. I was speechless for a moment, I mean, he was right… I was the bad guy back then but not anymore; it was all on him nowadays but looks like he wanted to put all the fault on me once again.
“This isn’t about back then, this is about right now! This is about how you’re acting right now! ” I screamed, as I heard many footsteps coming towards the kitchen.
“And who’s pretending nothing happened in the past right now, huh? ” He aggressively screamed back in my face.
“What’s going on..? ” Niall said on a low voice from behind us. I turned my head only to be greeted with four pair of worried eyes. I looked down at my feet and turned around to face Harry once again.
“Nothing. There’s nothing to talk about, right? ” I said bitterly as I glared at him more furiously than ever. He gulped harshly as he stayed silent. I turned around quickly and began to make my way out of this mess when suddenly, my anger took the best of me. I was so hurt that he wanted to pretend that nothing happened and that it meant nothing to him that I just wanted to hurt him as much as possible. I turned around again to face him one last time.
“I don’t know why I bother with you! I don’t even know why I ever bothered at all with you actually… You’re not worth it. You never were. ” The second these hurtful words left my mouth; I regretted them. I especially regretted it when Harry’s defiance expression turned into utter despair and sorrow. At first, that little voice in the back of my head was telling me to say that to hurt him like he was hurting me but it just made me feel worse. He was worth every second of my time, if I had to do it all over again, I would. I said that because I wanted to hurt him but it was all lies. I fought back my tears as I saw Harry getting teary eyed himself. I spun around and left the kitchen as quickly as possible. I was such a fucking idiot. I always said the wrong things and I was always letting my anger getting the best of me. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I put on my shoes. I was so mad at myself for saying that to him; I shouldn’t have. My heart was telling me to go back in there and say how sorry I really was but my pride was telling me to go home and forget all about him. If only I could… If only I could forget all about him, it would make my life alot easier. I was reaching for my phone in my purse when someone softly grabbed my arm. I looked up immediately and I was relieved to see Liam.
“I’ll drive you home… C’mon, let’s go before you and Harry starts screaming at each other again! ” He smiled a little as he pushed me out of the house. The second I stepped outside, tears flooded from my eyes as I burried my face in my hands. Liam closed the door behind him and soon realized I was crying my eyes out in the middle of the driveway. He ran up to me and pulled me into a hug.
“I didn’t mean it! I’m so fucking stupid… ” I sobbed in a very unladylike way, my face burried into his chest.
“You were mad… and he was mad too. You both said things you didn’t mean. C’mon, don’t cry, it’ll be all okay. ” He rubbed my back in a friendly way that made me feel a bit better.
“It won’t get better, Liam! As far as I know, it can only get worse! ” I screeched, as I pulled away from his hug.
“How can you be so sure? If you’d quit being so damn stubborn and actually tell Harry you love him; things could get better, Skye. ” My eyes widened at his last words. How come did he know all of this!?
“Oh, please. I’m not that stupid… Everyone can see you have feelings for him. ” He rolled his eyes and grabbed my arm as he lead us to the same car Louis used the other day.
“I have a boyfriend, you know!? ” I said nervously, hoping it would be a good enough argument for Liam.
“I know that… But you’re also in love with Harry. ” He said matter-of-factly as he got into the car. I sighed heavily as I got into the passenger seat. I just wanted to run away from all of this. Everyone thought it was so obvious I had feelings for Harry then why didn’t he realized that himself instead of making things so difficult? Anyways, why does it matter now… What I said to him in the kitchen was awful and it’s just another thing pilled up on all the other things I’ve done and that I want him to forgive me for.
“Why did it get so hard… All of this? ” I whispered to myself, looking out the window. Liam started the engine and as we finally drove away, he sighed loudly and smiled in a sad way.
“Love does that, Skye. It changes things. ” More tears fell from my eyes as I looked at him. I knew he was right and it broke my heart.
“This can’t be love… What Harry and I have, if we even have something. Love isn’t supposed to make me feel like this. ” I said, my voice shaking like mad as I stared at my injured hand. The one Harry nursed so gently just a couple of hours before.
“If it hurts that much; what else could it be? ” Liam said as he turned his head to meet my eyes for a split second. Liam and his stupid wisdom left me speechless for the rest of the car ride. I knew once again that he was absolutely right. He always was but like I said before, it doesn’t matter now. Things were already complicated enough and now I went and said the dumbest thing to Harry. I made things worse; as if we hadn’t enough problems already.