The car finally began to slow down and that’s when I realized we were infront of my house. I wiped my tears away and smiled weakly to Liam before I got out of the car. I felt so angry at myself. I was angry at Harry too but… The guilt was eating me up completely. I lied to his face to make him feel awful because he was hurting me and I hated myself for that. After a couple of shaky steps, I heard a car door open and Liam’s voice echoed from behind me.
“Wait! I wanted to ask you something but then it all got messy with him and… ” I turned around slowly, kind of confused about what he was saying. I eyed him questioningly, waiting for further explanation.
“Look, we rented this cabin in Upstate New York for next weekend and we wanted to invite you but- ” I scoffed with a sad smile on my face. I held back more tears before I spoke.
“By ‘we’ you mean all the boys except Harry, right? ” I said, my voice filled with sadness. Liam smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. I knew I was right the second I noticed it. He was just trying to be a good friend and not mention that Harry didn’t want me to be there… Especially after the events of today I assume.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Liam. I can’t face him now… Not after what I said earlier. ” I mumbled, my voice breaking as I looked down at the ground.
“Well, this could be your chance to say you’re sorry. ” Liam said in a sing-song voice that made me chuckle a bit. I stopped laughing after awhile and slowly looked up to meet his big brown eyes.
“Why are you doing all of this? Why are you trying so hard to make things right between Harry and I? ” I blurted out, my eyes full of tears once again. I just did not understand why Liam wanted so deeply to make things better? It didn’t even concern him and it was so messy; I wondered if he even knew what he was getting himself into.
“Harry’s my best friend and you’re my best friend too, Skye. It’s clear to me that you love each other… I just want you both to be happy. ” I opened my mouth to protest because I just really wanted to make him realize that Harry and I’s relationship was way too fucked up now, there was probably nothing left to do about it but somehow… I just couldn’t. I was so touched by his kindness that I didn’t find the courage to say it.
“You’re the nicest guy I’ve ever met Liam Payne, do you know that? ” I said with a small smile.
“And you’re probably the most complicated person I know! ” He replied with a laugh. I stayed silent, not really knowing what to respond to that.
“That’s why I want to fix things. Because I can see it’s not easy for you and for Harry so; here I am! ” I rolled my eyes at his stupidly warm-hearted nature. Liam smiled again, this time it was a big friendly smile and for some strange reasons, it made me cry again. Tears rolled down my cheeks as a look of concern appeared on Liam’s face.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t want to say or do something that would- ” I laughed really loudly as I realized how stupid I must look. I wiped my tears away and faked a smile.
“I’m fine… I’m just tired and I’m still a bit drunk I think!? ” I laughed as Liam looked very uncertain about my excuses.
“Are you sure you’ll be alright? ” Liam asked me, his big puppy eyes full of concern once again. I chuckled kind of sadly as I reached for my keys in my pocket.
“I’m always alright, Liam. Don’t worry about it… Don’t worry about me. ” I said matter-of-factly, my face showing no emotions at all. Liam sighed very loudly as he got into his car. I turned around and began to walk towards my house as I heard him lower a car window and shout at me.
“You’re lying and I’ve noticed, for your information. Anyways, think about it. You know, going to New York with us… Just think about it! ” I didn’t stop, I just kept on walking as I shouted back in return.
“ I’ll think about it! ” I obviously lied but luckily for me, Liam didn’t stay too long to argue with me. He drove away quickly after and left me all alone on my front porch. I was all alone. Finally. I didn’t have to hide it anymore. I didn’t have to pretend I wasn’t hurting because I was finally alone. I unlocked the door quickly and entered my home in a hurry and slammed the door behind me the second I was in. I held on to the doorhandle as I started to have trouble breathing. I could barely breathe, it’s like there was something in my chest. It was hurting but at the same time, I felt so empty. I assumed it was my emotions taking over me since I felt so guilty and angry at myself for saying that to Harry. I wish I could just go back and tell him how sorry I am but I couldn’t… What if I went too far this time? What if it was truly over? Suddenly, Sally, my dad’s wife, came running out of nowhere, she was probably alerted by my loud and obvious erratic breathing. Seeing her snapped me out of whatever was going on with me, I calmed down a bit.
“Sweetheart, are you alright!? ” She asked, obviously panicking. I rolled my eyes as I started to breathe more normally. I made my way passed her, wanting more than anything to go hide in my bedroom for the rest of the day. I didn’t care that I blatantly ignored her question, I wasn’t in the mood to deal with anyone; especially not Sally.
“Skye, sweety, are you okay!? ” She asked again, as I was walking up the stairs.
“Can you just shut up and leave me alone! What makes you think I’d want to talk to you about anything anyways!? ” I screamed in annoyance as I turned around to face her. She looked appalled by my rudeness but again, I did not care at all.
“I just wanted to know if everything is alright I’m- ” She replied in a low voice.
“Well, don’t! You’re not my mom. You’re nothing to me. So just leave it, yeah? ” I said to Sally more mad than ever. I don’t know why I got so angry at her in that moment. Something just came over me and I couldn’t help myself.
“I’m not trying to be your mother, Skye! I’m just trying to be nice and you keep being mean to me! ” She said on a desperate tone that made me laugh internally. That poor idiot, didn’t she understand anything at all?
“You don’t get it, do you..? If it wasn’t for you; my parents would still be together. ” She sighed heavily as understanding washed over her face. She knew I was right. My mom and dad got a divorce because of that whore. She was the one to blame.
She didn’t say anything else so I got that as a sign that this dreadful conversation was finally over. I ran to my bedroom and locked the door behind me. My breathing got strange again. It’s like the walls were closing up on me. I let myself fall to the floor lazily. I don’t know how long I stayed there but I just simply didn’t want to move. I felt so numb and all I could see when I closed my eyes was his face when I told him that he wasn’t worth it. It made me feel even more horrible. Eventually, I calmed down and fell asleep. I never knew sorrow and guilt could be that exhausting.