After Matt left, I spent the rest of the day cleaning up the mess I’ve been doing for the last couple of days. I wish saying ‘cleaning up the mess I’ve been doing’ could be a deep metaphor for all the things I fucked up in my personal life recently but no, unfortunately, I only meant that I cleaned my bedroom. After a cold shower and many coffees, I sobered up just in time for my father to come home from work. I got dressed and put on my best smile, hoping he would buy this happy act. I walked downstairs as I heard him move things around in the kitchen.
“What are we having for dinner tonight? ” I asked, praying that my false happiness wasn’t too obvious. My dad turned to face me and smiled brightly.
“Vegan pizza, your favorite. ” He seemed so proud of himself that I honestly couldn’t even bring myself to tell him that it was actually not my favorite meal at all. It was mom’s favorite, not mine. I guess he got our preferences a bit mixed up after all this time.
“Great! That’s… awesome. ” I mumbled with a small smile.
“So tell me, are you still seeing that boy who lives next door? ” He curiously asked. I was very confused for a moment but then I remembered that with all of this, my dad thought I was really dating Matt. Oops.
“Yeah… No, not really. We decided to stay friends. ” I mumbled and he nodded silently. Wow. This was strange… I wasn’t used to this whole ‘having a personal conversation with my dad’ thing. I really wasn’t.
“So… Anything exciting happened at work this week? ” I said, trying to fill the uncomfortable silence.
“Well, just the usual but oh yes, I almost forgot! I’ll be gone next week; business trip to Australia! ” My dad said as he put the pizza in the oven. My eyes widened in surprise, great, I’ll be stuck here alone with the step-monster.
“How wonderful… But didn’t you went there once before? ” I asked, a bit curious.
“Yes! When you were twelve, I spent two weeks in Australia with Sally. Lovely country, we both loved it! ” He said, grinning. I smiled out of politeness at first but it quickly faded away as I processed what he had just said.
“You and mom were still married when I was twelve, dad! ” I said in a low voice even though I was on the verge of screaming. My dad’s reaction gave it away. He was completely livid and that’s exactly when I lost it.
“Oh my god… That’s just fucking amazing! ” I yelled as I stormed out of the kitchen. My dad followed me, begging me to calm down and listen to him.
“Just let me explain, sweetheart I swear I- ” He began but I did not let him finish. “ No, thanks. I think I’ve had enough of this bullshit for today! ” I yelled and I expected him to do the same but he just looked… sad. Which instantly made me feel bad for yelling at him but I was still too angry to apologize.
“And for your information, I don’t like vegan pizza! It’s mom’s favorite and second of all, I never really dated Matt from next door because I’ve been in love with the same boy for like three years now but of course, you don’t know a thing about any of this because you’re always gone and we never talk! ” I blurted out and then after… nothing. We just stared at each other for the longest time and we both stayed silent. That is when I started to feel bad for screaming at him and well, just being mean about the whole thing in general.
“Sorry! I just… It just came out. I didn’t mean to say it like that… ” I sighed, crossing my arms.
“I must admit that I didn’t enjoy your tone very much but… You have every right to be mad at me, Skye. I’m sorry aswell. ” My dad said, which formed a true and honest smile on my face. He walked back to the kitchen and I followed him. He started to prepare the salad as I just watched him, sitting on the counter not that far away from him.
“That boy you like, is he back in England? ” He suddenly asked and it made me regret for ever mentioning that whole subject in the first place.
“You remember my childhood friends, right? Those boys I always hungout with? ” He nodded, as a sign for me to keep going.
“He’s one of them… Harry. Harry Styles. ” Just saying his name made the dull ache in my chest even worse.
“Oh yes, I remember him! He worked at that little bakery in town, right? ” I nodded in confirmation. It was so odd to talk about him with my dad… Really odd.
“Yes, I remember him. Good lad. It makes sense too because even when he was a kid, he was crazy about you. ” I frowned in confusion at his words. My dad left years ago and well, honestly, I didn’t know he had noticed that much about my friends or my life in general even before that so I was pretty much surprised about what he had just said.
“What do you mean? ” I asked carefully, not sure where this was going.
“Remember when you got really sick with the flu when you were about ten years old? ” Oh yeah, I remembered that. I had to stay home all week, I missed school and everything. I also spent one night in the hospital because of it. I cleared my throat and nodded as a sign for him to keep going.
“Well, everyday, Harry would come over and ask how you were doing. He drew a different ‘get well’ card for each day of the week. That was really sweet. Don’t you remember? ” He said, his back turned to me as he took care of the salad. He didn’t notice my tearful eyes or the way I covered my mouth with my hand to keep myself from crying. For several years when I was younger, I did my best to ‘hate’ Harry and I remembered in that moment that I threw these cards away and even laughed about it. I had been awfully mean to him for years and now I realized just how caring and sweet he’s always been. It’s always been right infront of me but I’ve been stupid and stubborn for so long that… I didn’t see what was really happening there.
“Yeah, he’s really sweet. He really is. ” I finally managed to say, my voice thick with emotion. I wiped my eyes quickly when my dad turned to face me.
“So where’s Harry now? ” He asked as he eyed me strangely.
“He spent the summer here but he left… He’s back home now. ” I blurted out. I didn’t know why exactly I was saying all of this but there I was; talking about Harry with my dad as if it was completely normal.
“Oh, that’s a shame. Will you go visit him this winter or..? ” My dad asked and he looked like he genuinely cared. Which made me happy, of course. I always have this little voice in the back of my mind telling me that he doesn’t care about me or what I do so that was really nice to see that apparently he does.
“No, I won’t because I’ve been a fucking bitch to him and I pushed him away and now he’s gone so… It doesn’t matter anymore. ” I smiled sadly as I pushed myself off the counter. I was about to go back upstairs but my dad stopped me from doing so.
“Honey, I think you should- ” He began but I cut him off. “ Dad, please. You’re no expert when it comes to successful relationships so I could really do without your advice right now. Thanks. ” I bitterly said which immediately earned me a glare from my father.
“Alright, I went too far with this one! I admit it… Sorry. ” I mumbled, feeling bad for talking to him like that. He sighed loudly and gestured me to follow him in the living room. I did the same as he sat down on the couch. I was getting a bit nevous about this whole thing… I had a feeling he wanted to have some sort of serious talk with me and it made me feel like I was about to explode.
“I’m going to ask you one question and I want you to be completely honest with me, alright? ” He asked, staring at me. I nodded, waiting for him to ask this question.
“ Are you happy living here in Los Angeles? ” I stared at him for the longest time, trying to find the right words to say but nothing came out. I didn’t want to lie to him but at the same time I didn’t want to tell him that I was absolutely miserable here. My silence confirmed that I was infact not happy so he gave me that look. You know that ‘c’mon, you can tell me’ look.
“Not really. ” I finally managed to say. I looked up to see him looking all sad and disappointed so I immediately regretted what I had just said.
“Daddy, I’m so sorry I just- ” I began but he didn’t let me finish. “ You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. I wish this could have worked out for you here but it’s clearly not the case… ” He still seemed disappointed but well, he was smiling. We both stayed silent for awhile after this. I frowned in confusion as he reached for his wallet in his pocket and took out one of his credit cards.
“Would going home make you happy, Skye? ” He suddenly said. I looked at the credit card in his hand and back at him and I was just really confused… Where was he going with this?
“Yeah… I’d be happy to see mom and my friends again. ” I nearly mentionned Harry but I decided to keep my mouth shut.
“Well, there you go. ” He said as he put the credit card on the coffee table infront of us. I opened my mouth to say something but I was so stunned that nothing came out at all.
“Why are you giving me this!? I’m completely lost here! ” I exclaimed as he got up and began to make his way back to the kitchen.
“There’s plenty enough of money on this card for you to buy a one-way plane ticket to London. ” He smiled and I was just… speechless.
“Are you serious..? ” I asked as I got up shakily. I had been so blind and so stubborn but maybe this is what I needed. If I want to be happy, I have to go home. I have to go home to my mother, my friends and Harry… Maybe I could fix it. Maybe I could find a way to make him forgive me. Matt was right. I had to go home and tell Harry how I feel. It’s the only way I’ll ever be happy.
“I am serious. I want you to be happy, darling. And if going home is what it takes then so be it! ” I had a feeling I was about to start crying so I ran into his arms and hugged him as hard as I could.
“Thank you so much, daddy. ” I sobbed loudly. It all felt a bit bittersweet I must admit. When I got here, I wanted so much to connect with my dad and be happy to live here with him but it just didn’t work out. This wasn’t home and it’s never going to be. Home was Chelmsford. It was my mother, my friends and… it was Harry.
After a very emotional goodbye with my best friend Claire, alot of packing and a ten hour flight, I was finally back in the UK. I had packed what was necessary and later this week my stepmother would fly here along with the rest of my things. I may not always be her biggest fan but that was really nice of her to do I suppose. I was now in the cab on my way to the boys’ house in Mayfair. Thank god for Niall who gave me their address weeks before because I’d be lost without it right now if it wasn’t for him. Now that I was on my way over there, I started to feel a bit… nauseous. I knew it was the right thing to do. I knew it now that I’ve been an idiot for pushing him away all of this time. The right thing to do was just to finally tell him the truth about my feelings so maybe, possibly, we could both be happy together but now that I was about to see him again… I just felt like I was about to puke. The cab finally stopped and like an idiot, I didn’t move for the longest time. I suddenly then realized after awhile that I wasn’t alone and that the driver probably wanted me to get the hell out of his cab so I paid him, grabbed my suitcase and got out of the vehicle in a haste.
I knew that the boys were most likely be home because according to all the gossip/fan websites, the rehearsals for their tour didn’t start until tomorrow but what if… What if they’re out? Oh god, I was so nervous that I kind of hoped so. The second I took my first step towards this gigantic house the boys lived in, it started to rain. Ah, home sweet home. I ran to the front porch trying my best to escape the rain as quick as possible because I didn’t want my hair to look absolutely terrible infront of Harry since, well, I was about to declare my love for him in a matter of seconds. I took a deep breath and tried my best to prepare a little speech in advance in my head before ringing the doorbell but my heart was beating too fast for me to even think straight.
“Oh, fuck it. ” I blurted out to myself as I finally rang the doorbell. I didn’t even had the time to rang it a second time that someone was already answering the door. Thankfully, it was Niall. I mean, it would have been really intense and dramatic for Harry to open the door himself.
“I knew it! ” Niall said with that shit-eating grin of his. I was really confused and amused by his mood because I thought he’d be mad at me for the whole ‘I lied about dating Matt’ thing but he clearly wasn’t… He seemed really glad to see me.
“Well, hello to you too! ” I said, smiling aswell. He pulled me into a tight hug as he began to ramble about how delighted he was to see me and that he knew I’d come back.
“Wait here! I’ll get Harry to come downstairs. ” That’s all he said before running away into this ridiculously big house. It didn’t take long for who I wanted to see most to come down and well, let me just say that I hoped he’d look more happy to see me but oh well, I deserved it. I felt extremely sick and my hands were shaking like mad as he walked towards the doorstep but of course, I tried my best not to show it.
“What are you doing here? ” Harry asked, visibly confused and upset.
“I need to talk to you. ” I finally managed to say. Harry shrugged and walked past me and before I could even ask him where the hell he was going, his voice stopped me from doing so.
“I’m so sorry but I can’t stay! I have other plans, you see, I’m going for a walk so this will have to wait. ” His amused tone made me want to hit him.
“It’s pouring outside, are you serious!? ” I yelled as he walked off the porch, his grey t-shirt already wet after a couple of seconds. He pretended not to hear me like a proper idiot but I didn’t care. I had to do this right here and right now. I was going to tell him how I feel and nothing could stop me.
“You’re acting like a twat right now, I hope you’re aware of that! ” I screamed as I followed him under the heavy rain. He spun around so that he could finally face me.
“Why are you here, Skye!? Two days ago, you told me to forget about you and now you’re here! What is this!? What do you want!? ” He yelled aswell. We probably looked mental the both of us, screaming at each other in he middle of his front yard while it was raining like hell but I didn’t care. All I cared about was Harry and what I needed to tell him.
“I’m here because I made a mistake! Well, alot of mistakes actually like for instance; telling you to forget about me, lying about Matt but most of all… Never giving us a chance in the first place. ” I said, my eyes never leaving his. He stayed silent so I took that as a sign for me to keep going.
“Look, I never gave us a chance because I was scared. I was so scared to take a risk with you because I really don’t want to end up heartbroken like my mom was when my dad left but I realized that… You’re the kindest and most amazing guy I’ve ever met. You make me want to become a better person and… I can’t help it, alright? You can be a real prick sometimes but you got under my skin! ” It’s only after I stopped talking that I realized I was crying.
“So you’re asking me to give you another chance, yeah? ” He spoke, finally.
“I am. ” I simply said, wiping away my tears with the back of my hand. Although, it was useless since my hair and clothes were dripping wet because of the rain now.
“Why should I give you another chance after everything you’ve said and done!? ” He said, his voice shaking. Well, it was nice to see I wasn’t the only one emotionally affected by this conversation. I bit down on my bottom lip and gathered all of the courage I had inside me to finally say it… I told him once on the phone but it was different. I had to tell him now because otherwise I could lose him forever. It was alot for me to say but I just had to.
“Because I’m in love with you! ” I breathed out. His eyes widened immediately and I could see he was holding back a smile but I decided to keep talking.
“I wanna be with you like you always wanted us to be… You’re worth taking the risk and… I’m just really in love with you, alright? ” I sobbed and laughed at the same time. He just stood there, grinning like an idiot, watching me.
“Are you gonna say anything or should I just leave? ” I joked.
“Say it again. ” He smirked. I rolled my eyes as my smile got bigger and bigger. We just stared at each other, smiling for awhile before I decided to finally give in.
“I love you. ” I said with a fond smile. Before I could say anything else, he leaned down and kissed me like there was no tomorrow. The fact that we were both kissing under the rain made me want to laugh because well, it was too much of a Nicholas Sparks moment for me not to be a little bit amused by it but I didn’t let it get to me though. I much preferred to ignore how cheesy we must have looked and instead just stay there and keep kissing him as long as possible.
“I was ready to give you another chance the second I saw you on that porch… I just wanted to hear you say it.” He said after gently pulling away. I gasped and punched his shoulder playfully. We laughed a little and he kissed me again… and again. It felt so right and so good; like nothing could ever go wrong ever again.
“So… what now? Where does this leave us? ” I asked between kisses. “ Well… You’re my girlfriend now. You can’t get out of this, you have no choice. ” He said with that stupid grin of his.
“Alright, fine. What next? ” I laughed and his smile grew bigger.
“You could move in with us since you’re probably homeless now… Right? ” He taunted.
“Yes! As a matter of fact, I am kind of homeless right now but… I could always go stay with my mom if- ” I began but panic suddenly stretched across his face.
“Oh god, I’m pushing it too far, aren’t I? I’m so sorry! I should wait- We should wait I mean- ” He rambled anxiously.
“No, it’s fine! I’m just saying that I don’t want to bother you or the boys… I wouldn’t want to intrude or anything. ” I said truthfully.
“There’s plenty of room enough for you! And besides, they all love you so they won’t mind! ” His smile was so big I was afraid his face was about to burst or something. “ But really, if you’re not ready you could just say no I’ll understand I- ” There he goes again. Oh, Harry.
“I am ready, Harry. I’m here because I’m ready… And anyway, we both waited long enough for this, don’t you think? ” At this point, my face was hurting because of all the smiling. I suppose that made two of us.
“Yeah, we did. It’s our time now. ” He kissed me once more before grabbing my hands and leading me back to the house. The second I set a foot inside, I was basically tackled by the rest of the boys. I couldn’t stop laughing. I never thought I could ever be this happy? No more waiting. No more lies. No more games… I was finally back home. I was here with my best friends and with the boy I am irrevocably in love with and for once in a long time; I was truly happy.