I sighed very loudly as I painfully opened my eyes, my head pounding because of all the alcohol I consumed the night before. I silently cursed myself for drinking too much as usual, as I woke up with a killer headache once again. I let out a very unattractive grunt and turned around but my face collided with someone else’s chest in the process. I yelped and stoop up quickly in a sitting position. I had no memories of when or even how I went to bed last night and with whom too apparently! I let out a sigh of relief when I recognized Niall’s blond hair but still, I was now beginning to doubt myself… What if..? What if Niall and I… I was about to start screaming but then I saw from the corner of my eyes that everyone was scattered all around my bedroom floor, still sleeping. Zayn and Liam shared a mattress on the floor near my bed and it was the same thing for Louis and Claire who were sleeping in each other’s arms on their own mattress. I smirked thinking to myself that I had to ask Claire about all the details later on. I sighed heavily once again and turned my attention back to my friend who was sleeping in my bed… Knowing me and what we almost did at a party once, I didn’t trust myself at all about the fact that we possibly, maybe, had sex the night before… I was so confused but still craving for the truth of what we did the night before… Just like that, out of the blue, I slapped Niall on the head.
“What the fuck!? ” Niall exclaimed in pain, as he slowly opened his eyes searching for his attacker I guess.
“Why are you sleeping in my bed? ” I asked, the worry probably obvious in my eyes.
“Because Harry’s snoring was annoying so I just decided to crash here. ” Niall said, his voice weak and raspy. Wow, his hangover looked even worse than mine, I thought to myself as he rubbed his bloodshoot eyes.
“So, I was already sleeping… When you got here? And what about Harry? Where is he!? ” I blurted out. The fact that he mentionned Harry and that he wasn’t in my room made me nervous and also wonder where the hell he was.
“He’s in your guest room and yeah, at first I was sleeping in that room but anyways I got here and… What’s up with you? ” Niall laughed at my nervous state. I glared at him as I got up silently, not wanting to wake up anyone else.
“Holy shit, did you think we shagged!? ” Niall practically screamed at the top of his lungs. I turned around quickly to grab a pillow and I hit him as hard as I could right in the face. I cracked a smile as I saw him suffer and fall back on my bed while he loudly complained that I killed him. I threw back the pillow on my bed and quickly made my way out of the room. After washing my face and brushing my teeth, I decided to go check on Harry… You know, just to make sure he’s alright. My heart was stupidly racing as I walked towards the guest room’s door. God, I could be such a girl sometimes that even the thought of seeing him would make my heart go crazy… I carefully and slowly opened the door, trying to be as quiet as possible but it turned out to be useless since the bed and the room was empty. His shoes were still on the floor so I assumed he was just somewhere else in the house but… Where?
I closed the door and quickly went downstairs. I was about to go in the kitchen when I heard the sound of the television coming from the living room. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for a possible other argument because with Harry these days, there was many. I smiled a little when I saw him, sitting lazily on the couch, his hair all over the place and even if he looked tired, it didn’t change the fact that he looked more cute than ever. My smile faded the second his angry gaze met my eyes. I looked down for a second, feeling stupid for even being here. Well, I know it’s my house and I can do whatever the hell I want but… It was foolish of me to hope that Harry would actually just smile to me or be… nice. I sighed heavily and let myself fall on the couch by his side. He didn’t move at all, well, that was a good sign. Atleast, he wasn’t repulsed by my presence now! We watched MTV in silence for awhile and then it just got so awkward that I just had to say something.
“I’m surprised you’re still here. ” I said matter-of-factly, waiting for his reaction as I watched him carefully from the corner of my eyes.
“I would have left but I can’t since they’re all still here. ” He mumbled, visibly not in the mood to talk with me or so it seems. But oh, when was Harry in the mood to deal with me these days anyways? Once again, silence fell upon us so we just watched some more tv together… Still not talking. What a lovely coincidence! A commercial for One Direction’s new album played right after the end of Jersey Shore. I couldn’t help but smile as the commercial showed bits of the boys’ previous music videos. We both stayed silent as That 70’s Show started, even though I was dying to say something. I knew that it was probably useless since whatever I say, Harry was terribly mad at me but I had to give it a shot.
“You know, I never really had the chance to tell you how proud of you I am. ” I said on a low voice. I glanced in his direction, he was looking at me but he just stayed silent.
“Everything you all achieved after The X Factor and everything… It’s amazing. You deserve it. ” I genuinely smiled. I was hoping he would realize that I was actually telling the truth and not just saying what he wants me to hear, even if I’m not exactly sure of what he wants me to say anyways.
“But it’s silly how I never even knew you could sing before Louis texted me, telling me about you guys doing the auditions and all… ” I smiled even more, remembering the day I found out about them going on The X Factor.
“Yeah, well, you never really cared about me so I’m not surprised. ” Harry said, glaring at me but his face showed no emotions at all. He turned his attention back to the tv as I just sat there, in complete shock. I was trying so hard and all he was giving me was anger and rejection.
“That’s where you’re wrong, Harry… ” I breathed as I got up and quickly escaped the living room. I almost ran to the kitchen, hoping he would stay where the hell he was so I could have a couple of minutes to myself. I leaned against the kitchen counter and held on to it as hard as I could, trying my best not to cry. I didn’t want to give him that satisfaction. I tried so hard to say how sorry I was and I tried so hard to make things right but he just kept pushing me away. Maybe it was gone. Whatever the hell we had in the past… It was probably gone by now. I thought that maybe I should just stop reaching out to him. Maybe being friends wasn’t even possible for us anymore.
“Can we order a pizza! I’m starving! ” Niall literally screamed. I jumped a little, surprised by his presence in the kitchen. I forced a big smile, leaning to get the phone but Niall stopped me midway.
“You’re upset. ” He simply said. He wasn’t questioning me or whatever. He sounded pretty sure of him when he said that and well, he was right after all. I tried to shrug it off because the last thing I wanted was Niall to worry about any of it but before I could even say a thing, he pulled me into a tight hug.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry he’s like this… He’ll come around eventually. I promise. ” Niall whispered in my ear as I held back my tears. It would probably be smarter to just give up and leave Harry alone. I should just stop trying so hard for him to forgive me but… A part of me didn’t want to give up on him yet. Maybe Niall was right after all? Maybe Harry will eventually come around and actually forgive me. Maybe I should fight for him. Maybe I should fight for him like I should’ve done 2 and a half years ago.