The concert was amazing. They were all amazing. Well, even though I was on the verge of tears the whole time because of what Harry did, I still enjoyed the gig as much as I could. The whole crowd was very energetic and even Matt seemed to have a really good time. It all went really well until one of the last songs of the show.
“It’s gonna be the last song of the night, guys! I wanna say a massive thank you to all of you for coming! We had the best time here tonight, thank you very much! ” Liam exclaimed in his microphone, the crowd went crazy. I smiled a bit knowing they would come back for 2 more songs after that but my smile faded quickly when Harry stepped forward and opened his stupid mouth.
“I would just like to dedicate this song to a very special girl, who’s here tonight. ” The crowd went absolutely mental. Most of these girls seemed completely furious about that ‘special girl’ Harry was talking about and I couldn’t blame them. I was freaking out myself.
“Skye, this one’s for you. ” Harry said with a sad smile on his face. I could feel Matt’s eyes on me but I didn’t move. Well, I couldn’t move actually. I noticed Zayn and Louis giving Harry a very alarmed glare. When the song started, it felt like a ton of bricks fell directly on my head.
“ When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight. It just won’t feel right, ‘cause I can love you more than this. ” This is the part where I completely lost it. I got up in a hurry up because I honestly didn’t want anyone to see me cry. Luckily for me, everyone was so busy enjoying the concert that no one gave the strangely upset girl weird looks as she ran out of the venue. I pushed the heavy door with both hands and got out of there as soon as I could. I just stood there for a couple of seconds, trying to catch my breath as I found the darkness of the back alley oddly comforting. I jumped when someone gently grabbed my shoulders but I soon relaxed as I realized it was Matt. He hugged me from behind as I let tears roll down my cheeks.
“I’m sorry… For what happened back there. ” I nodded slightly as I sweetly squeezed his hand as a ‘thank you’.
“Why are you not happy though..? I thought you wanted him to want you back I just- I’m kinda confused. ” I sighed heavily as I turned around to face him.
“It’s not that easy I mean… He kissed me earlier and… It’s not right. It doesn’t feel right because he thinks that we’re dating but he did it anyway and- ”
“But we’re not really dating, Skye..? ” Matt replied, looking more confused than ever. I sighed once again as I buried my face in my hands. This was all just so complicated and too much for me to handle.
“Look, forget about it. I just want to go home right now, okay? ” I mumbled as I looked down at my feet. Matt clearly didn’t want to argue with me tonight so he just agreed as he led me to his car. The car ride was thankfully not very long and Matt stayed silent the whole time so I took that as a sign that he understood earlier that I just didn’t want to talk. My phone kept buzzing with new text messages and missing calls from the boys but I ignored them all. I ended up just shutting if off because I didn’t want to deal with anyone right now. The car finally slowed down infront of my house, I grabbed my purse but Matt’s voice stopped me before I could step out of the vehicle.
“Can I just ask you one question? ” He asked carefully, his eyes fixed on me. I sighed as I nodded him to go ahead. He was my friend after all, he deserved my truthful answers if he wanted them.
“What do you want, Skye? ” He simply asked, as if it was the easiest question in the universe. I let out a shaky laugh as I realized I had no idea what to tell him.
“That’s a wonderful question, actually. I’ll get back to you when I find the answer, alright? ” I joked around with a sarcastic smile on my face. Matt did not seem too impressed with my reply though.
“Look, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know, Matt. ” I breathed, exhausted by all of this talk about my feelings that I didn’t even understand myself.
“But isn’t that what you wanted? To be with him? So why are you confused now I mean- ” I cut him off before he could say anything else.
“Well, I like him alot. Actually, more than just alot! ” I snapped, which made Matt smile a little.
“I really care about him, I think about him all the time, he’s wonderful and… He also deserves alot better than me. ” I mumbled, looking down at my purse, trying my best to sound like I didn’t care even though I was on the verge of tears again.
“You should tell him the truth. Stop fucking around, Skye. Be honest. Tell him. ” I thought about Matt’s idea for a minute or two and even though it was the right thing to do, I knew I could never bring myself to actually do it.
“Yeah and if I actually do tell Harry how I feel and also that I can’t be with him because he deserves better… I’ll lose him. I’ll lose him for good and… ” My voice cracked at the end and I took that as a sign for me to stop talking.
“And you’re not ready to say goodbye to him, huh? ” Matt said in a low voice. I rubbed my tearful eyes and looked up at him. I smiled out of kindness because he understood exactly how I felt.
“I don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that but yeah… I’ll have no choice in the end and I know that. ” We stayed silent for awhile after my last words. I assume Matt didn’t know what to say to me and I was just out of things to say about my feelings and whatnot I suppose.
“And on that note, I’m going to bed. Goodnight, Matt. ” I forced a small smile as I stepped out of his car. He drove away just to go park his car in the front yard beside mine, since you know, Matt and Claire are my neighbors.
“Are you gonna be alright on your own tonight? ” Matt shouted all the way from his front porch as I was searching for my keys in my purse. I looked up and smiled to reassure him.
“ I’m fine. Don’t worry about me! ” I shouted back as I kept on smiling as if I was trying to convince myself as well that I was okay even if deep down I knew I really wasn’t. I waved him goodbye and opened the door in a hurry to go hide in my bedroom for the rest of my life. I leaned against the front door after I closed it and I just stopped moving for a second. My dad was out with his wife as usual. I was all alone in this huge house once again and it was so quiet that it made me want to scream bloody murder. I locked the door behind me and run upstairs to my room in tears, again. I took off my clothes and started laughing as I realized that all I did these days was to cry and cry even more basically. I laid on my bed for hours, unable to fall asleep because all I could think about was Harry and the song he dedicated to me. The same lyrics kept repeating non-stop in my head and I couldn’t do anything about it. “ When he opens his arms and holds you close tonight. It just won’t feel right, ‘cause I can love you more than this. ”
I woke up in the middle of the afternoon the day after with a killer headache and dry tears on my cheeks. I quietly laughed to myself because of how pathetic I became as I lazily made my way out of bed to go take a quick shower. I ended up taking alot longer in the shower than I previously wanted but who cares really? I was planning on staying home until the end of time anyway. After I blow dried my hair and put on a pair of denim shorts along with my favorite Journey t-shirt, I jumped in bed once more, reaching for my laptop because today was the perfect day to have a marathon of The Office since I felt like complete and utter shit. But of course, I could never have two minutes to myself in this goddamn hopeless and annoying world. Suddenly, there was loud knocks on my bedroom door as if there was 15 people outside waiting for me or something.
“Skye Isaacs is dead, please go away and never come back. Thank you. ” I screamed as I logged onto facebook.
“Skye, it’s us… Look, something happened. Something really bad. ” Liam said in his concerned father tone that I did not like at all. My heart stopped at the word ‘bad’. I immediately panicked at the idea of Harry being hurt or even worse. I put my laptop away and jumped out of bed, my heart racing. I flung the door open only to reveal 3 very stressful looking boyband members looking back at me in complete distress.
“What’s going on? What happened!? ” I stammered. Niall looked at Zayn and this one looked at Liam… They all gave each other this ‘who’s gonna tell her’ look that made me want to rip my hair out.
“For fuck sakes! Is anyone going to tell me or- ” I yelled but finally, Niall’s voice stopped me from finishing my frantic sentence.
“Harry’s in trouble because… of you. ” I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. I was honestly too confused to even process what Niall had just said.
“Basically, someone recorded you and Harry’s fight and kiss from last night and they put it online. Everyone’s freaking out because it’s making Harry look really bad. Most of our fans are calling him a ‘homewrecker’ now… ” I felt like I was going to be sick. Niall’s explications made my heart stop and my stomach turn. It was my fault. I screamed at him that I was with Matt and that he had no right and now the press was all over it because of my selfish lies.
“What are you guys going to do about it I mean..? ” I mumbled, having a hard time to find the right words.
“We don’t have a fucking clue… All we know is that Harry is in deep shit. The label is not happy about it. Simon even called him earlier. ” Zayn said. I covered my face with my hands as I sighed rather loudly. And just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, they just did.