I want to fall into Niall’s arms. I want to tell him everything Tiffany said to me and have him comb his fingers through my hair and tell me everything is alright. Then we could watch Toy story all night until we fall asleep on the couch together. But I am not here for that. I can’t cuddle with him tonight. Instead, I have to tell him I cheated on him with his best friend and stay for the reaction. I walk up to his door and knock. A middle aged woman with blonde, shoulder length hair answers the door. My heart sinks. It’s his mom.
“Hello?” she says.
“Hi. I was wondering if Niall was home?” I ask.
“That depends who is asking,” She says.
“Oh! You’re the girl he’s-.”
“Emma!” Niall cuts her off, “What are you doing here?”
“I came to talk to you,” I could tell he could see that I had been crying because his face straightened from a smile. “Thanks mom, I’ll be right back.”
“Okay, Hun. And sorry Emma for asking you rudely who you were. I had to make sure you weren’t some stalker fan. It was nice to meet you dear.”
Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Horan.” I say, forcing a smile. Niall closes the door and we sit down on his front step.
“What’s wrong?” he asks as he grabs my hand, causing a pain in my stomach. “Did something happen with Tiffany?”
“No, well yes actually…” I pause because I don’t know how to say this. I don’t know how to break his heart.
“Tell me what happened, babe,” he says deeply.
I stare into his innocent, unknowing, blue eyes. “Niall I have to tell you something. And you might hate me after you hear. You will hate me after you hear. I hate myself actually.”
“Emma, I’m not going hate you. Just tell me.”
He laughs. “Emma you are kind of scaring me here.”
I take a deep breath and I tell him everything the same way I told Tiffany. I avoided his eyes the whole time. When I finished my story, I finally looked up, but I regretted it instantly. He was tearing up. I have never seen Niall cry before. I have seen him cry when he thought he got eliminated from the “X Factor”, and that was hard to watch. So seeing him cry in person was horrible. I started tearing up with him.
“Liam?” he asked, his voice cracking a little.
I nod. “I should have never let you stay with him,” he says.
I shake my head now. I want to grab his hands but I know that would be wrong. “It wasn’t just that, Niall. We just aren’t right for each other.”
“We aren’t right for each other?” He looks up at me, “All those amazing times we have had together? That wasn’t right? When you told me you loved me?”
I felt the tears actually start to fall. “I meant it. I do love you Niall.”
I know that now.
“Then why Liam?”
“Even before I met you guys, back when I was just a fan I had a crush on Liam. You knew that when we first met.”
“When we first met!” He shouts, “I didn’t think you would still have feelings for him while we were dating!”
“I didn’t have feelings for him! Not that I knew of anyway. They just kind of crept up on me. I can’t control this Niall. If I could I would.” He stayed silent, looking straight ahead. “You deserve someone better than me Niall. Someone who won’t lie to you. Someone who won’t cause so much drama. Someone who actually means it in the way you want them to mean it when they say ‘I love you’. Because I did mean it. I love you Niall. You are one of my best friends and I can trust you with my life. But I don’t love you as my boy friend. And I know you won’t ever want to talk to me again and it will be hard for me but I will get over it as long as you don’t take this out on Liam. It wasn’t his fault.”
“Yeah okay.” He says sarcastically, getting up. “I need some space, Emma. Don’t text me or call me. I need to get over this.” He walks towards the door but then turns back around. “You know, you tell me I’m your best friend and that you can trust me with your life but you couldn’t trust me with this. It took you this long to tell me. You should have told me as soon as it had happened. Best friends would tell each other. Friends would tell each other. That’s why you’re nothing to me now.”
The slam that came from his front door not only made me jump but also helped the cracked pieces of my heart actually fall apart.