4. Positive or negative
It tortures me all night that I actually could become big, that people would know me for someone else. Or for who I really am. It hurts to let go to that feeling but I pull myself together and finally fall asleep at 1 am.
Rise and shine I think as I scramble out of my bed covers and shove my feet in my cosy pinkslippers. Slip on my orange dressing gown and hope for the best as I walk down the stairs.
Mum is too happy at the moment. She is actually making dom and I am a hot breakfast! Pancakes with boiled eggs and chicken sausages !! She invites me to sit down, and It nudges me to ask her why she is being so nice to me but if I do it might stop. I get dressed brush my teeth with dom's tooth paste mainly because I lost my one and head for the bus. Mum wishes us a good day at school and tells me not to faint this time while making my favorite dinner in the kitchen. I walk to the front porch uncomftably because this is the opposite of mums usual behaviour but maybe this is the start of something new or a new beginning like they say in movies. when I arrive at school I still the signs there and it is but my heart stops at the date. It was today aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!! Take a deep breath I tell myself. All you have to do Is to fill out an essay for the judges, I can do that easy peasie !?!???? But will mum say yes ? Better call her now. Hi mum ..........