What Humans Do

The world of gymnastics is a cruel one and when you get injured on the job you will be seen as easy prey. That's exactly what happened to me. I'm on the UK's Olympic Gymnast team and one day it's all taken from me when I left the gym on a stretcher. Now, I'm fighting my way back to the top of my team. That's the whole point of this whole stunt. Everything with him was perfect, but I couldn't allow that. I could only be with him for a year and a half. That's it. That's the whole point of this publicity stunt, to get back to the top, not to fall for each other. I would NOT, under any circumstnaces, let myself fall in love with Harry Styles.

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33. I Regret Nothing

"Petar... Why?" I asked Petar in utter disbelief of the events that just occured.

He didn't say anything. Silence. "You saw him didn't you? That's why you did it, isn't it? Jealousy? You know you had me in the palm of your stupid hand and when you say that it was no longer like that you got mad!"

I had gotten out of my state of shock and was angry now. We were standing in the middle of the deserted road with the cold air wrapping around us and the lamp posts were our only light source. You could tell that it was around Halloween even if you didn't know the date or month.

I was pointing my finger in his face when I was talking, moving closer and closer to him out of anger, and when I had finished I dropped my hand and his head snapped up. "You really think that's why I did what I did? Jealousy? I didn't do it out of jealousy. I did it because I've been waiting to do it since we were five. Why do you think I never dated any girl when we were in school when you and I both know how easily I could've gotten one? I told you I wanted someone who wanted me for me in the hopes that you would understand me saying I wanted you. I promised myself the next time that I saw you, I would kiss you and tell you I love you, no matter what. I didn't plan on kissing you at that moment. Yes, I saw him. No, I don't know why I kissed you even though I saw him. But if you ask me to forget about it, I won't. I waited for you for so long, I will never forget it. I won't even regret it either."

My once angry face had dissolved as the speech went on and it was replaced by one of sadness. Again. I didn't say a word, instead I just walked up to him and hugged him. I wrapped my arms around his torso and he was a little surprised at first, but wrapped his strong arms around me soon after. I could feel the tears develope in my eyes but I quickly pushed them back, reminding myself that now isn't the time to feel sorry for myself.

"Rue, why will I never be good enough?" I heard him whisper into my ear. I didn't let him go, though. I knew he needed me.

"You were always good enough. I just got tired of waiting. I'm sorry."

He sighed and then released me. "Go."

I looked around to be sure he was talking to me. "What?"

He closed his eyes and dropped his head again. "Go find him and fix everything. I may not be the one to make you happy, but he can. I want you to be happy. Even if that isn't with me."

I smilied knowing that I had just gotten my best friends approval of him, even if it was on bad circumstances. "Are we okay though? Me and you? Still best friends?"

He looked up at me and smilied. "Yeah, I can't ever be mad at you."

"You should come up to England one day. I have a friend who you'd get along with perfectly."

He continued to smile and nod. "Rue, stop trying to avoid confrontation. Go find him. I'm sure he's lost beyond belief!"

He really knew me better than anyone. I gave one last smile and wave before turning around to go find Harry.

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