(A/N: Sorry for not updating lately, I have been heaps busy with school work ... etc as my exams a coming soon.)
I never thought how dramatically my life can change within a short amount of time. How once again in a few months fate has turned my life upside down. At some points I wanted to scream and just run away from my problems. To just end my life, wishing it did on that day. But I keep thing back to Lou, I would never leave him. He is the reason in why I stand today. Truthfully, I didn't even know how I was saved or what had happened. It was all a blur, but some parts are clear as cut glass.
Today marks two weeks since I was taken, two weeks of Lou being in hospital and been two weeks since I found out the truth. Staring out to the open space and sighed. Watching the outside world move and carry on, where I am here. With my back leading against the pole of the porch and my legs tucked around my arms. Hearing the birds chirping away in the distance with the disruption of the busy traffic of a morning.
I headed back inside and ready myself for school. First day back since that say; even though I been therapy in those two weeks and in and out the hospital for checkups and to visit Lou, I still felt that I was never going to be safe. But my therapist recommended I continue what I do before, carry on where I left off. As my therapist believes in would be the best cue and maybe to only cue. Starring at myself as I tried my hair up into a side ponytail and straightening my uniform. Looking to the girl in the mirror, blaming myself. If I didn't become so curious and pushed to the truth would I be in this situation, neither would Lou. Shearing a tear, thinking could I be the one in which placed Lou in danger. I began to sob, missing him here. How my curious pushed my family away from me. Blowing my nose and wiping away the tears. I need to stay strong, try to push side the past and focus on what is ahead of me.
I guess my therapist is right, but she is the only one I could only talk to; I mean she is the only one I can really rely on. Besides, my brother is in hospital and my parents are ... I am just so confused and lost. Maybe my therapist is right, carrying on and seeing my friends may help me... just maybe, I hope.
Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. There was an oddly scents of strange. I was one of the first time I had been alone at home, now because my aunt left a few days ago. She came down to make sure I was right, but now life carries on and continues she had to go back.
"Beep Beep Beep"
I heard from outside, walking towards the window and realized it was a taxi car in which I called a few minutes ago. I quickly poured out the coffee into a take-away cup and grabbed my back and rushed out locking the door behind me.
"Where to miss?" he said in a British accent
"St. Marks High School" I said softly.
I watch anxiously was he turning on the meter button on. As we drove pass the street, the street in which hold many painful memories as it leaded to the day where I was half dead. We were almost there; I could hear my classmates and the entrance of the school. The taxi driver stop the meter "it is 6 dollars"
I handed him the money and opened the car door. Looking at everyone with their eyes staring at me, great. I said in my head, everyone knows what happened or probably think I am a freak. This is what I just needed.
Walking inside the gates, taking in deep breaths. It felt like I was going to pass out. Fidgeting and playing with the ends of my hair. Only looking at the ground but can feel every eyeball is on me. Placing my hand to the side of my face, blocking everyone and anyone from noticing me.
I manage to make it to the lockers without anyone noticing. Opened my locker and checked my timetable. In the distance, I saw you approaching. Trying to hide, but it was no use... you where already here.
He came up to me and suddenly just engulfed me with a big cuddle.
"Hey how are you?" he asked
"Staying strong" I said with my mouth covered with his shoulder, still being wrapped in his embraced.
Further in the distance and in the entrance of the canteen lockers you too walked in. The first two people I met are you guys.
Ever since what happened in the hospital I wasn't able to face Zayn. What I saw, confirmed I had a heart. Because I could feel it tearing apart. It cracked the day she forgot me and now I just couldn't take it. Maybe this was a way to get over her and move on... just like what she is doing.
I froze, there they were. Together. In embraced. The exact spot where I first met Isabella. And now, there they stood linked around each other’s body. My heart shattered.
As I stare out to my left, over Zayn’s shoulder. There you stood. Smiling at him, knowing how much pain I may have cause him. But how can I love someone who I have no memory of meeting. He really seems like a nice guy.
Not paying attention to what Zayn was saying but he eventually pulled away from his embrace. He smiled back. Glad he wasn’t mad at me.
“… I was so worried sick about you. I am happy you are alright” zoning back into his conversation. But was it wrong that I had feelings for both. When Harry smiled back, the way his face was so simply perfect and his two dimples appearing on the side of his cheeks. Thinking to myself, if I got to known you first maybe things may be different.
Sometime you have to just wait and be patient and see what life throws at you and maybe, just maybe someday I will remember.