It was the day after the last concert. It was 2 weeks since I came to Denmark with my boyfriend and my best friends. It was snowing in Denmark the day we left. I had to go back to work more in Atlanta. It was winter over there too but it wasn’t as cold as it is in Denmark.
I said goodbye to my family and fans that were there for me in the airport. Some of them were crying. I was too. I didn’t really want to leave Denmark forever but I knew I had to move away if I wanted to be something and this was something I wanted to do with my life.
Peyton sat down beside me in the plane. We were in the back just speaking. Austin was on the phone with someone so he didn’t really want to speak with any of us right now. I thought about who he was speaking with for a long time.
Peyton: are you okay?
Allie: yeah why wouldn’t I be?
Peyton: you were crying.
Allie: It’s just weird thinking that I won’t be living here anymore. I love Atlanta and I love you and music is what I wanna do with my life, there’s just something wrong that I have a hard time figuring out what is.
Peyton: Is it something you want to talk about?
Allie: Not really.
Peyton: You shouldn’t keep all of you problems to yourself.
Allie: I don’t. I just don’t wanna talk about this. I hate talking about how I feel and how I’m doing.
After an hour Jake came up to me and said he wanted to talk about work with me so I went with him up in the front of the plane. Peyton just sat back and listened to some music.
Jake: when we’re coming back to Atlanta all of your work will start. You know that right?
Allie: yeah. We’re starting tomorrow right?
Jake: No we’re starting tonight.
We spoke for a while. I spoke with everyone doing the flight. It was weird. I was running around all the time. Before I knew about it the flight was over and I had to get to work. Peyton took all my things home. Austin took another flight and same with Dylan and Camille.
*5 months later. (Late March)*
I’ve been working for the past 5 months. I haven’t really had time to do anything. Peyton moved back home because we got into a fight. He was mad that I wasn’t going to stay for Christmas. He wanted me to know what it was like to celebrate it in the American way but I wanted to go home for the Christmas.
My first album is out next month. I’ve been working with so many different people and my life has just turned into something that is a little more than I can handle by the age of 17. I see people with big cameras everywhere I go and I can’t even have Camille visit without seeing an article about it. But this was the life I chose. Somehow I’m glad I chose it but on the other hand I miss being that little YouTube kid.
I was sitting with my laptop in the living room, chatting with a lot of different people and doing a following spree on twitter. I was soon at 900K followers. Everyone knew who I was. I saw a tweet from Austin. I hadn’t spoken with him since shortly after where we got home from Denmark. We weren’t friends anymore. He had kissed me when he was here and had visited me. I missed him but he had been such a jerk both to me and to Peyton.
I read Austin’s tweet. @AustinMahone: @AllieRaff I miss you. I’m sorry for all the things I’ve done in the past. Forgive me?
I read the tweet over and over again it annoyed me so I took my phone and called him but some girl answered the phone.
Girl: Austin’s phone. Who’s speaking?
Allie: Allie Raff.
I heard Austin in the background. He took the phone out of the girls hand and took a deep breath.
Austin: OMG I never thought you’d call.
Allie: Austin I’m not calling to speak with you for a long time. Just leave me alone. What you did was crossing the line. You went over to me and kissed me in front of Peyton, my boyfriend. You had no right to do that. I just don’t think I can forgive you this time. Don’t contact me okay?
Austin: Allie can I at least explain. I miss you!
Allie: I thought you understood when I said you were my brother. You shouldn’t have kissed me okay.
Austin: Just let me speak now.
Allie: Fine. I’ll give you 2 minutes. I don’t wanna waste my time anymore.
Austin: Allie I’m sorry about what happened. What I did was wrong. I just love you okay? Or I used to. I don’t wanna lose my sister. You’re my world Allie. You’re the sister I never had. I know that now. I’m terribly sorry for what I did but I can’t change it. I can regret it but that won’t make it less real. What I did wasn’t meant to happen but it did and I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I even apologized to Peyton too.
Allie: You spoke with Peyton? How is he?
Austin: wait what?
Allie: I said how is he?
Austin: You guys are still together aren’t you?
I felt how I was about to cry… I didn’t even know Peyton and I were still together. We hadn’t been speaking for two weeks. I hadn’t seen him in 3. I guess we weren’t but I couldn’t focus on that. I had to keep my heart in the music.
Allie: I’m sorry.
Austin: Allie, are you okay?
Allie: Not really.
Austin: Allie I’m in Atlanta. I’m coming over. I’ll be there in 15 minutes.
He hung up on me and at the same time I felt how the tears were falling down from my cheeks. It was a stupid fight that Peyton and I had been through but we had been fighting a lot since Christmas. He thought I was spending too much time on the music but he knew that it was going to be like this. Beside that he worked a lot himself.
Before I got up from the chair I heard the doorbell and went out. When I saw Austin I broke down in his arms. I was crying so much and I couldn’t believe that my brother was there for me.
Austin: It’s gonna be okay babe.
He kissed me on my forehead and lifted me inside.