I wanted to spend the next day with Austin but he was out shopping with his bodyguard Dave. I didn’t feel like shopping.
I went out for a walk with my guitar over my shoulder. A lot of people were staring at me but I didn’t really care. I walked down to this little lake. Everything was so peaceful down there.
I sat down on some rocks out in the water and played my song from yesterday. After that I lay my guitar down on some of the other rocks and put my feet into the water. The water was a bit cold but I didn’t mind. It reminded me a bit of Denmark. I took my guitar again and started playing some random chords over and over again. It did sound good. I started singing the chords.
Allie: G – Em – Am – C – G – Em – Am - C
Austin: don’t you think you’ll need some lyrics for that instead?
Allie: Austin, I didn’t see you.
Austin: it’s okay. So are you writing something new?
Allie: Only a melody.
Austin: I’m sure you can put some lyrics on it.
Allie: I can, I just don’t have any ideas right now.
Austin: You’ll get some. You always do. Just feel everything around you.
He took my hand and sank it into the water.
Austin: You feel that?
Allie: Yeah but the cold wet water is not going to get me to write another song.
Austin: what about this?
He laid his fingers in between mine and made them melt together as one thing, while he was looking deeply into my eyes and smiling. Austin moved closer to me and leaned in as if he was about to kiss me.
My head didn’t react, I froze, and I couldn’t do anything. He came closer and closer, our lips were less than an inch from each other’s. I felt and tasted his breath. I closed my eyes and held his hand around my neck as our lips gently and barely touched each other’s.
Allie: Austin I can’t do this.
He moved back and looked at me.
Allie: I’m sorry.
I took my feet up from the water, my guitar in one hand, and shoes in the other and left. When I was almost out of the wood/park thing I was in Austin came running behind me.
Austin: Allie, wait!
Allie: Wait for what? For another kiss? I thought everyone had understood it already! I’m not going to be in a relationship with anyone and you’re still hitting on me. I thought we were like brother and sister. I see you only as my brother, I’m sorry Austin but there’s nothing more to say. I’m in love with Peyton but I can’t be with him because I live in freaking Narnia on the other side of the planet.
Austin: I’m sorry.
Allie: Sorry isn’t good enough. See you in the studio.
I walked all the way home to Peyton and sat down in his bed crying. He wasn’t there, lucky for me because I didn’t really want to explain to him why I was crying. 2 minutes later when I was still crying Peyton walked in, he seemed happy but that changed when he saw me lying on the bed with mascara running down my face.
Peyton: what happened?!
Allie: I don’t wanna talk about it.
Peyton: Allie, tell me what happened.
I turned my back to him and hugged his duvet.
Peyton: Don’t you wanna hug me instead of my duvet?
I wasn’t answering. I didn’t wanna speak I just wanted to think. Peyton lay down and wrapped his arms around me.
Peyton: No matter what you’re thinking about or what happened, you can tell me. I’m here for you and I’m not going to leave.
I turned around and hugged him, I held him close and I wouldn’t want to let go of him.
Allie: I love you.
My voice was only a whisper.
We hugged for a while and then I sat up in the bed. Right now I didn’t care about how I looked I just didn’t want to leave Peyton’s side. I took his hands and looked at him.
Allie: We need to talk about us.