17. It's Love
I had sat there, watching her walk away, and knowing there was nothing I could do about. I had just sat. What could I have done? I could have chased after her. I could have followed her until she finally listened to me. I could have convinced her to give me a chance. Not only could I, but I should have. I know what I had wanted to do. When she was going on about 'where had I gotten her phone number' I wished I had come clean. I wished I had just been honest and told her what I'd done. But I promised Katrina I wouldn't. And like she said, she kept her end of the deal, so I had to keep mine, All of it, including the secrecy. I couldn't tell her.
But that wasn't all I had wanted to do. I had wanted to hear the story of what happened. She seemed upset about whatever it was. I wanted to hold her and make her feel better, but all I'd done was make her feel worse. I knew what I had to do. I wanted to see her again, but I knew the pain she must be feeling. I've betrayed her trust twice, between hiding behind a bush while she practiced tennis and getting her phone number from her friend. She would be telling herself it was too much, which is a logical thing to think. I had to do something that defied that logic, and if there's one thing that beats logic, it's love.