19. Opening up..
I curled up next to Harry in the waiting room. He had his head pressed to the wall and his eyes were closed.
"Why?" He asked suddenly, "Why do you think he done it?"
I knew I had to lie, "I don't know."
"He better apologise for making you spend your birthday like this," he half laughed, looking down at me.
"He doesn't have to," I laughed.
Harry noticed my shivering in my dress. It was sleeveless and the hospital was cold, so he pulled his jacket off and wrapped it around me.
"Thanks. What did mum say?"
"She told me to tell you not to worry, just to make sure that he was okay."
"We'll have to go over later."
The other boys returned with the girls and coffee and muffins. They all looked tired even though it was only midday.
It was almost 3 before the nurse came out to us. She had brunette hair and glasses. She was beautiful and I could tell that all the boys thought that.
"Hi, I'm Gracie, Niall's nurse. He is stable and awake. It wasn't an overdose, we ruled that out. However, Niall had a lot of alcohol in his system and also a small trace of an anti-inflammatory drug that he had for his knee damage, a surgery he had a while ago. It didn't mix with the alcohol. He knew that. He told me that. You will have to keep a strong eye on him or rehab is another option. I will give you time and you can see him now."
"Lucky Niall," Louis laughed when she walked away.
I turned away as they all walked in. I didn't want to look at them. Jorgie sat next to me and reached for my hand but I pulled away.
"Why?" She asked, and I could hear the tears.
I didn't answer and I could hear the boys moving to the side that my head faced.
I looked up and felt the tears form in my eyes.
Harry had his hands on Jorgie's shoulders and was glaring at me, tears also in his eyes.
"Niall, we all want to know, why?" He suddenly said.
"Why? Even I don't know how to explain. Have you ever just felt worthless? Have you felt like everything you do will never be good enough?" I growled, looking all the boys in the eyes individually. They all had different looks on their faces. Harry was half mad, half sad. Louis was blank, like he was trying to hide his feelings. Liam showed complete shock. Zayn face was down, the tears clear on his face. Perrie, Eleanor and Danielle all stood by the wall, listening with tears in their eyes. The last face I looked at was Jorgie's. She looked like a widow, her face hurting me to look at.
"Niall, we've all been there. We all have been through stuff," Harry looked at me, "But we are brothers. We have always talked to each other about things."
"Well now we don't," I bit back, "Now you are all starting you're own little families and I'm still here, single and having to listen to you all gloat about your gorgeous fiancés."
"If you wanted to talk but, we are always here. As Harry said, you are our brother. Even if not by blood, family comes first," Zayn ruffled my hair in a brotherly way.
"Well next time I wanted one of your fiancés, I'll be sure to let you all know," I said sarcastically.
Shock flashed on everyone's faces and recognition on Louis' and Eleanor's. I had told Louis that I liked someone and now he knew it was one of the tribe. Apparently he had told El as well. Good brother.
"I need some space please. A couple of days."
They all nodded and I half hugged them goodbye.
"Who but? Harry asked obliviously. I looked out of the car window.
"Not me. He told Louis so it is definitely isn't me."
"But Louis, he said that he kissed one of the girls?" Zayn asked.
They were all clearly stunned by what Niall had said.
They weren't going to ask who it was and I could tell that, but I could feel the guilty look on my face.
"I can say it wasn't me," Danielle said.
"So, it's between Perrie and Jorgie," Liam supplied.
I could feel the tears forming in my eyes.
"He had feelings for me before but that was even before I started dating Zayn. I'd imagine that they are long gone now. And he never kissed me," Perrie said, not a flinch in her words.
I felt everyone staring at me as I sobbed softly, my eyes still on the buildings outside.
"I told him that I would never stop loving Harry. I actually told him to stay away from me. He told me when Harry bought me to America after I came here. I think it was a mistake at first and he told me that his feelings were gone before we went back to England."
They all sat and listened as I told them.
"When I picked Lolly up after the accident, he forced himself on me. He was trying to prove a point. I never told Harry because I knew that it would cause a problem in the band. And you are all brothers."
"That explains the day that Harry punched him," Zayn said.
"I didn't know," Harry looked shocked, and hurt.
"I'm so sorry," I half turned to him in the seat and he moved away from my touch.
"I need some time."