Why do you hate me, What've I done?

Emily is a pretty normal sixteen year-old, she has short, red hair resembled to Hayley Williams', blue eyes, nice cheekbones. Other than she's an orphan; both her parents dead and she cuts. Emily just happens to fancy One Direction. She wins a contest to meet them, and she thinks it'll be like fanfictions and stories, they'll love her and become the best of friends and live happily ever after! No. But when the boys don't like her, how will she take it?


14. I'll kill myself this time.

I knew it. I knew nobody loved me. When I get home, I lock the door and plop on the couch, sobbing. Olly purrs at me, rubbing up agaist my face, and I give a weak smile, then pull him into my arms, sobbing into his fur. He replies with purrs, showing me sypathy. After about an hour of that, I sit up and delete my Twitter, Facebook, and any other social networking site, the go off to my room, crying when I see the poster of him.

I tear it off the wall, and rip it up, throwing it in the bin. Now, there was no sign Liam had ever been here. I change into sweatpants and an old Paramore t-shirt, and walk over to my wall. I pick up a picture of my parents, they were dancing together, smiling. I think about the Harry Potter movies, how he had the book of his parents and there was a picture of his parents dancing and smiling. I chuckle at the thought that we had something in common. I wish somebody would love me like my mum and dad loved eachother.. Someone like Liam.

I burst into tears once again, crawling under the blankets. I hug the picture close as I cry myself to sleep, not the first time though.

I wake up, and hope the past week was a dream. But no, I had seven cuts on my left wrist, the pposter was ripped off the wall and my accounts were deleted. I don't get up. I lay in bed, and count the reasons in my head nobody likes me.

I'm fat. Ugly. Mean. Selfish. Weird. I cut. My hair is red. My school grades suck. I cry, all the time. I name so many reasons, I lose count and fall asleep. When I wake up, it's two in the afternoon, and my phone has about a million messages, all from Liam, plus about five from Zayn.

45 new text messages from:Li<33.

I get up and eat an apple, I need to put something in my system. I sit on the couch after I feed Olly. I don't want to talk to anybody. No matter who comes to my door, whether it's Liam, the postal man, or Girl Scouts, I'm just going to act like I'm not here. I decide to watch some movies. First I watch the first Harry Potter movie. I cry when his parents die. Then I watch Sweet Home Alabama. Their southern accents amuse me. But then they kiss in the rain, once when they were kids, the again when they grow up, it's just so sweet I cry.

I watch Bridesmaids also, just to make me laugh. It works, and I'm giggling my head off when somebody knocks at my door. I open it up a crack; to see it was Zayn. I give up my promise to myself and jump into his arms for a hug, sobbing into his neck. "What the hell did Liam say to you?"

He comes in, and I sit next to him on the couch. I tell him everything. From Liam kissing my cheek in the closest, holding his hand in the restraunt, pecking him at the beach, to finally last night; when he told me he loved me, and yelling at me. 

"A-and he told m-me you all didn't llike me, except for you. He didn't say anything about liking me!" I sob into Zayn's chest. "Shhhh, love. It's okay. Harry didn't exactly like you, until he heard what Liam said to him. He even punched him in the face."

"He deserved it." I mumble. Zayn sighs and whispers into my hair, "You need to talk to Liam." "What? NO!" I say, pulling away from his hug and wiping my tears. "He's worse than you are. He won't eat, sleep, or talk to anybody. He sits in his room, staring at the ceiling, crying. You screwed eachother up."

"Oh, so now it's my fault? You could never even IMAGINE how many times I've been screwed up, this is the worst though. I knew nobody'd ever love me. Then Liam came around and made me feel special, and I thought it could happen. I was wrong. It'll never happen!"

I run to the bathroom, grabbing a knife from my room before I enter, locking the door behind me. "EM! NO!" Zayn screams. I decide instead of just a little cut, I'll hurt myself. I'll kill myself this time. I think happy thoughts as I have the knife pointed towards my chest.I'm about to do it, just as Zayn kicks the door down.

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