Hiding My Heart

When Rayna comes to England as an exchange student running away from her troubled past, she dosent expect to run into a cute boy, Louis Tomlinson. She forbids herself to ever trust someone again but is Louis the one? Louis forbids himself to ever love again after his beautiful girlfriend, Karla, dies of cancer, and he thing it would be dishonoring her to move on.
Maybe what Karla really wants is for him to stop Hiding His Heart and move on.


1. Chapter 1.


Rayna (may)s point Of view   A shiver runs down my spine as I step out of the warm comforting shower. It's hard to think that its the last time for a few years I will ever feel it's warm water against my rough skin. (Cheesy I know but hey, I'm sensitive like that!) I'm leaving for England in about 3 hours and there is much to do, (like worrying! What if my host family hate me?) I take down all my posters and throw them into the bin. By the time I get back I'll be over all these artists. I sigh as I look at the old happy family my mum dad brother and I used to be. Alot has changed since then and I wince at the traumatizing memories. I look at all the photos hiding away in my closet but close the doors forcing myself to block away the pain. Its to much to handle. I grab my leather suitcase and pack as much as I can bring. I'll buy alot in England with all the money I have been saving up for this trip with so I don't need to much.  It's hard saying goodbye to this town but there's not really much to leave. I have no social life since the incidents and my family and I aren't really a family. Just a few people who happen to be related and live in the same house. I sigh as my mum stands at the door holding a cup of water. "I thought you might need a drink, you've been cleaning hard." She whispered. I was about to scream at her and tell her to get out but I stopped myself, the incidents were hard on her to and she has lost so much. Even her children. (not literally but emotionally) I nodded my thankyou and she handed me the cup and wearily walked away. I would of yelled but it hurts me so much to see her in pain, I've had to for the last few years and it is really hard. The reality in the whole exchange thing is that I need help. Things that drastic don't happen in normal homes. Me going to england is my escape route and my fresh start. I feel the butterfly's tingle inside of me as I think of everything that could go wrong. My host parents could be violent or mean, or quiet or hate me. And what about the kids at my new school? They'll most definitely pick on me. A loner Australian exchange student. Who wouldn't pick on me? Everyone's probaly to posh for their socks. I clean up my room completely ( I know how much mum hates mess) and sigh. I wish things didn't have to lead to this. If all this didn't happen we could of still been that happy family that I see in the photo albums. My thoughts are interruped by mum who looks into my eyes and says 'Your problems follow you wherever you go. You do know that ray?' She says slowly. I roll my eyes. 'one this has got to happen and two don't call me rayna. Everyone can now call me may.' I say authoritivly. Mum sighs and looks at my green clock. 'We better get going if you don't want to miss your flight. 'may'" Mum says mocking my fake name. Who can blame me? I want to be someone else when I go to England. I won't be the school wagging, subject flunking loser I am here. England is all about second chances for me so I grab my suitcase and walk out the door. 'Bye Rayna. Have fun.' my brother Tom says quietly with no expression at all. I turn to face him and stare at the long scar on his ear. A tear rolls down my cheek and I nod. 'I will John, I will. Bye.' I say gulping back the bad memories. I wave goodbye to my hometown as we drive to the airport which will start my happy ever after. I will never trust someone with my heart again. 

-Louis P.O.V-

As I sat there looking at the beautiful girl before me, I wondered if I was ever going to see her again.

I was sat next to my beautiful girlfriend, Karla’s, hospital bed. Wondering how long she had left, I thought about all the times we had together. Then, an important memory came to me.


I didn’t care that my girlfriend was bald with cancer. She was still the amazing beautiful girl I fell in love with. I will never stop loving her no matter what.

“Louis, why haven’t you left me? Im too ugly for you. You are very attractive and there a millions of pretty girls out there. Where’s Im bald and I have cancer and Im ugly. Why do you love me and not them?” she asked. “Oh, Karla. You are the most amazing, beautiful, kind-hearted girl I have ever met and I will always love you. Nothing will ever change that.” I replied, and kissed her on the nose. She scrunched her nose, oh how I love it when she does that! “Karla?” I got her attention. “Yes Louis?” she said with a smile. “Karla, I love you. And I PROMISE that I will give you 1,000 pink roses before the end of this month. And then, if I win, I will shave off all of my hair-..” she cut me off, “no Louis! I don’t want you to have to go through all of that for me. I smiled and replied, “and if I lose, I will give you a black rose.” She looked at me with confusion. “But Louis, Black roses don’t even exist anywhere near here!” and I smartly said “exactly.”  

***flashback over***

So here I was sitting next to her. I had stayed at the hospital with her for 10 days now and haven’t slept for more than 5 minutes. I figured I should spend one restful night at home, and return in the morning. The hospital was empty of visitors and it was 9pm. I looked at Karla lovingly and said “Karla, I love you so much, and you know it, but Im a tad tired from not sleeping and-” and cut me off, smiling warmly, “its ok Louis. You have done so much for me and I love you too. Go home, get some rest. You need it.” I kissed her softly and hugged her gently. “Thanks. I’ll come back tomorrow morning, ok?” I said and she nodded and dozed off to sleep.

-1 week later-

That was a mistake. I never should’ve left that night. Here I am, at Karla’s funeral. She is in the front of the room, resting peacefully in her coffin. I lay a dozen roses on her chest and put her hands over them softly. I kiss her nose. But this time, is doesn’t scrunch up. She just lays perfectly still. A tear escapes my eye as I walk away, to my seat. Not a peep has been heard from me all day. But the service begins.


Everyone has now returned home, except me. I am still sat at Karla’s grave, were I had placed the dozen roses, I remember the promise I had made before she died. Those dozen roses was the last dozen I needed to give her before I had reached 1,000. But we had both won. I rushed home and got a perfect white rose from the garden, and went to the store for black paint and an electric shaver. I went back to the cemetery went to the toilets there. I shaved off every hair I had on my head and went back to Karla’s grave. I painted the rose black and placed it next to the dozen. “We both won Karla, we both won.” I said as the tears stated streaming. I stayed at the cemetery for the whole night and just talked to Karla. I will never love another. Not like I loved Karla.




thanks for reading guys!!! please leave comments on what you thought! :) xx bye!

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