Nobody knows

Juliet, also known as Louis Tomlinson's best friend since they were younger, goes to live with him and the boys. She's loved Niall since she met him when Louis was on the X Factor. Niall doesn't feel the same. How will Juliet, or Juli as everyone calls her, deal with this?


20. Secrets

I’ve been hiding something from everyone, even Louis. I found no point in telling them about it, they couldn’t do anything to make it stop anyway. Nightmares. Horrifying nightmares. Ever since Niall left that day, I’ve had non-stop nightmares.
I woke up in fear every single morning, and I’d put on a smile and act like nothing was wrong. I didn’t want to hurt Niall anymore. I didn’t want Niall to know that he had caused me more pain other than what I’ve shown.

Each night they’d get worse and worse. In some of them all the boys were disappear and I’d have to find them, and in others we were all swallowed up this unknown darkness. We could try to run from it, but it would always get us. Always.

Last night’s nightmare was different though. This time there was no darkness, but instead we were in this gigantic maze. We were pushed into it by a heavy force and we had to find our way out on our own. We had no map and at some point we all got split up. I ran in every direction searching for them. I could hear them calling me for. I called out for them, but it seemed as if I was the only one who could hear them.

Every night, I’d force myself awake. I’d twist and turn and struggle to get my eyes to open and release me from my cage of darkness. One night I had even fallen off the bed trying to wake up and I hurt my arm very badly. It wasn’t broken but I’m sure it was sprained.

I know that I should tell someone, but what could they do for me? I’d just lay there most night’s and wait for the morning sun to peak it’s head through my curtains.

Niall has been back for two weeks now and everything was better. I had a good 90% of my strength back, yet they still didn’t let me walk up and down the stairs without someone next to me.

It was the first week of October, the leaves have been slowly changing colors and the air would get colder during the night. I woke up to the sound of rain pounding on the roof. I loved days like this, where it would rain all day non-stop and the sound of thunder would fill the room every once in a while. I got up out of bed and opened the curtains up all the way, so I could see outside and watch the rain. I crawled back into bed quietly and pushed around my pillows so I could lean back and still be sitting up, like what they do in the hospital. I wrapped the blanket around me again and watched as the rain covered everything outside.

It was around 10am, I had been watching the rain for a little over 20 minutes. Niall came into my room and sat next to me. He didn’t say anything, but he was smiling. I looked over at him, “Hey,” I said lightly, returning my gaze to the window.

“Something wrong?” He asked, gazing over me. I remember my dream from last night and cringed slightly. I lied to him once again, “Nah, I’m fine.”

He shook his, “You never are when you say that.” He ran his hand through his bed head. “Something is on your mind, Juli.” He stated.

I looked over at him again and he looked up at me, “I don’t wanna talk about it,” I whispered, “Not yet.” Niall looked a little relieved.

“Fine,” He crawled over to my side and laid next to me. He moved his arm around me and pulled me close to him. We listened to the rain in silence, enjoying each other’s company. I wanted to talk to Niall about it, but I didn’t know how. I played with his fingers and he laughed, “What are you doing?”

I realized that I had to tell him. Yeah, maybe he couldn’t do anything but at least I can lift some weight off my chest. I turned my head to face him, “Ever since you left,” I started quietly. He moved his hand up to my face and rubbed my cheek with his thumb gently. “You don’t have to tell me, it’s fine.”

“I want to…” I spoke softly, he nodded.

“Ever since you left,” I restated myself, turning to watch the rain to calm my nerves, “I’ve had these nightmares. You’d disappear, along with the others. Sometimes, I’d have to find you, and other times this darkness would eat us.” Niall squeezed my hand gently. “I have to wake myself up, or try to, in the middle of my nightmares.. sometimes I can’t and that’s what scares me the most.” I didn’t realized that I was crying. I wiped away the tears with the back of my hand.

“Juli, I-” I cut him off.

“I never told anyone that,” I confessed.

“I’m sorry,” He whispered, leaning his head against my shoulder.

“It’s fine,” I stood up and walked across the room, grabbing my guitar and then walking back to the bed and sitting with Niall.

“Let’s just,” I paused, “Stay here, ok?” I asked him.

He smiled, “Play me something!” He said excitedly. I smiled and shook my head, “No, you play me something!” I lifted the guitar from my lap and held it up for him. He took it out of my arms and placed it on his lap.

“Alright, what do you wanna hear?” He asked, smiling wide.

I laughed, copying Niall from when I played something for him, and smiled. “Surprise me!”

“I got it,” He fixed his position, “You’re gonna like this.” He smirked and began playing.

Lost in the day, in a way, it’s same as the one before this,
And I wish I could say that’s it’s all black and white
But it’s grey. It’s the same, it’s the same and I’m so tired
But you are what I’m coming home to

Oh and I’m thinking about a red wine buzz and takin’ it easy,
And I got you in my arms, takin’ a break from crazy

I looked up suddenly, seeing the boys opening the door and sneaking in. They all got on the bed and sat around Naill and I. They all started singing with him.

And I’ll say “hey!”
You’ll say “baby, how’s your day?”
I’ll say “crazy”
But it’s all gonna be alright
You’ll kiss my smile
I’ll pull you closer
Spend a while just getting to know ya
But it’s gonna be all alright
I’m loving you tonight
Loving you tonight

And you are there on my heart at the start of my every morning
And I can’t deny by the end of the day that I’m running on empty
But you make me full, steal my breath
You’re so unpredictable
That’s what I’m coming home to

Oh I’m dreaming about a romance, slow dancing with you
When I got you in arms, I don’t care what we do

And I’ll say “hey!”
You’ll say “baby, how’s your day?”
I’ll say “crazy”
But it’s all gonna be alright
You’ll kiss my smile
I’ll pull you closer
Spend a while just getting to know ya
But it’s gonna be all alright
I’m loving you tonight
Loving you tonight....

The song ended and I couldn’t stop smiling, they saw my reaction and were smiling as well. “I love you, Juli.” Niall said.

I leaned over and hugged them all, “We love you too, ya’ know.” Louis added. We laughed.

“I love you guys.”

Niall had this idea. He told me that when he was little and he would have nightmares, his dad would tell him that he would always be there. No matter what, he’d be somewhere. His dad would tell him that he would be immortal, nothing could kill him and whenever Niall needed him he would show up. Niall told me that when I have a nightmare I should do the same. No matter the situation.

We all slept in my room that night. Niall and I slept on the bed, Louis and Harry were curled up together in a sleeping bag next to us, Liam fell asleep in a chair that I had placed in my room, and Zayn was asleep on a bean bag from the living room.

I did have a nightmare that night, but this time it was way different. The darkness was chasing us, like usual, but I imagined all of us being immortal and we survived at the end. After the darkness had passed everything was beautiful. It was this big, open field. Trees and flowers, the sun overhead. I slept through the night for the first time in a very long time, and I knew that everything would only get better from there.
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