Nobody knows

Juliet, also known as Louis Tomlinson's best friend since they were younger, goes to live with him and the boys. She's loved Niall since she met him when Louis was on the X Factor. Niall doesn't feel the same. How will Juliet, or Juli as everyone calls her, deal with this?

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13. Regret

I sat on the couch watching some movie which I didn’t bother reading the name of. The boys were scrambling all over the house, as they were getting ready for an interview. Since Niall left 6 days ago, the fans started to think Niall left the band. That’s why the boys are going to the interview, to settle everyone and tell them Niall is just visiting family.
They were starting to leave, but they all stopped. “Are you gonna be ok by yourself, Juli?” Zayn asked.

”Yeah,” I smiled, he nodded and left along with Liam. Harry and Louis were standing there.

“Are you going to call him?” Louis asked. I shook my head, “Do I have to? Can’t I just tweet him?” I asked, trying to get out of it.

“It’s not the same, you need to call him and wish him happy birthday.” Harry smiled a little, “He needs to hear from you.”

I sighed, “I’ll do it, don’t worry. Now, go! You’re gonna be late.” I shooed them out the door.

I plopped myself back down on the couch. I lowered the volume of the TV and picked up my phone from the coffee table. I dialed his number and pushed the green call button. I let it ring twice before I ended the call, not even waiting for him to answer. I afraid that if he answered I’d start to cry, and I didn’t want to ruin his 18th birthday.

I took a few deep breaths to calm down. I dialed again and stopped before pushing the call button. I can do this, I thought. I had to do this. I had to, but I couldn’t. I needed something that would calm me down, not just a few deep breaths but something more. I looked around the room searching for something. Anything.

Music. I thought as I noticed the iPod dock sitting on top of the end table. Someone’s iPod was already in it. I turned it on and pushed play without looking at the songs. Home by Michael Buble started to play. I smiled, it was Niall’s iPod. He must’ve left it here.

I picked up my phone from next to me, and I suddenly felt a little better. I pushed called and listened to the ringing sound.

“Hello?” I heard that way to familiar voice say. I was at a lose for words, I felt like he had taken my voice from me. “Hello, Juli?” He asked again.

“Hey, Nialler!” I said. I didn’t want him to hear the sadness in my tone of voice, so I did as best I could to sound happy. “How is everyone over there?” I asked.

“Good,” I could just see the smile on his face now, “Is that Michael Buble?” I laughed.

“Yes it is!” I smiled even though he couldn’t see it. “It’s your iPod too, you left it here and I was kind of sad and in need of music.”

“Oh,” He said lightly, “Why are you sad?” He asked.

I didn’t know how to answer that. I didn’t want to tell him why I was really sad because I didn’t want to get him down. I knew that if I didn’t tell him he’d feel bad, but if I lied to him I also knew that he could tell that I was lying. I could never lie when I was around Niall because he could always tell. Always.

“I miss you, that’s all.” I said admitted and sighed. It was quiet. Maybe he hung up. I would’ve been fine with that. Then it wouldn’t be any more awkward that it has become. I heard him sigh from the other end. “Niall?” I asked.

“Yea?” He replied.

“I read your note, ya’ know…” I don’t know why I told him that. The moment I said it, I started regretting it.

“I-” He started, but I cut him off before he could finish. I didn’t want to hear what he was going to say next. I didn’t think I could take it.

“We all miss you.” I stated, trying to change the subject.

“I miss you guys too.” Just as he said that the song changed to Fall by Ed Sheeran. I loved that song but I immediately reached over and shut it off.

Should I tell him what happened at the airport? I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had to. “These past few days have honestly sucked without you. It mostly sucked for me, I think that I had it worse.” I said the last sentence quietly.

It was silent again, “…Why?” He asked.

“Niall, it’s nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything. I’m sorry, it’s fine. I gotta go now.” I told him.

“No Juli, wha-” I ended the call. I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I threw my phone across the room onto the love seat, and started crying. My phone rang multiple times but I ignored it, knowing that if I dared to answer I wouldn’t be able to say anything because I’d be crying way to hard. It rang and it rang.

I didn’t realize what time it was. It was 5:30 and the ringing had stopped. I tried my damp cheeks with the sleeves of my cookie monster hoodie and walked over to the love seat. I picked up my phone. 16 missed called, 2 unread texts, and 1 voicemail.

I deleted the missed calls, and read the text messages.

‘Juli, please tell me what’s wrong. I don’t want you to be upset.’ The first one read.

‘Is it because I left. Is that why you’re so upset. You said you read the note…’

I started to tear up again as I read the second one. He knows that I know that he loves me, but he doesn’t know that I feel the exact same way back. I always have, yet I never told him. I’m starting to regret not telling him. I was just always to shy to tell him. I was never as confident as most girls I knew.

I wrote back, ‘I can’t help but to be upset, ok? I did read the note, and I never got a chance to say anything about it. And then you just up and leave? I don’t understand :/’ and then I placed my phone in the pocket of my hoodie.

I deleted the voicemail without bothering to listen to it. I didn’t want to hear it. The door opened and the boys walked in, “Hey guys.” I said, my voice slightly hoarse from all the crying.

Zayn walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me without saying anything. I sobbed quietly in his shoulder and I felt someone else wrap their arms around me from behind. “What’s wrong, love?” I knew that husky voice anywhere, it was Harry.

“I called him,” I said in-between sobs, “I’m not calling him anymore, no matter what.” I felt Zayn squeeze me a little tighter. It didn’t hurt, but it made me feel just a little better.

“What did he say?” Harry asked in a hushed tone.

“Nothing, really… I did most of the talking. I told him that I missed him and that I read the note, and I hung up before he could say anything.” Harry and Zayn released me, and I looked up at both of them. “Then he left me 2 texts and I answered one of them.”

“Lemme see.” Louis said, so I threw him my phone. He scrolled threw my messages. “It’ll be ok,” The phone started vibrating in his hand. He handed it back to me and I opened the unread text.

‘I left because you were with Harry. What do you mean by, ”I didn’t get a chance to say anything about it.’ I read it in my head. The boys had moved to the kitchen after complaining about their stomachs.

‘You already know what I mean, think of Baby Lux….’ I sent it really fast before I changed my mind, and I walked into the kitchen acting as if nothing happened.
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