The Lovely and The Lost

Serenity had always had a hard life, living threw her fathers death, her grandmothers, and her mother was terribly sick. She was always depressed about her mother, and if she would live. She would cut herself, and would always feel as if she wasn't worth anything. Until, someone changes her opinion of life and herself.


4. At Least You Know How It Feels

                                      Raine's P.O.V

I had already finished telling them about inviting him over, him here watching TV with me, then about him getting upset. But, I wasn't sure about telling him about me cutting myself. They were my friends! So, I let it out.

"Guys, I gotta tell you something." I started off saying it like that.

"What is it, Raine?" Brent asked. I thought about it for a second. Should I tell them? Yes, no? Yes!

"I umm.. I-I love you guys! Your so, caring." I said. Guess I'm not telling them.

"Thanks Raine. We love you too." Akkai said smiling. I smiled, I didn't want to upset them so I kept smiling. I was hoping they would stay tonight no one was here and it was always really lonely. We sat and ate popcorn watching movies on TV. I snuggled up against them and yawned.

"Is Raine tired?" Akkai asked in a child voice. I just nodded and he chuckled. I smiled and he picked me up and laid me in my big comfy bed. He was about to leave when I pulled his arm.

"Yes?" he asked smiling.

"Where's Brent?" I asked.

"He went home." he said frowning.

"Please, don't go too." I said with closed eyes.

"I won't go unless you want me to. I'll go in the-" he started.

"Sleep in here." I said, to be completely honest I didn't know what I just said.

"Uhh..umm..ok." he said, clearly surprised. He walked over slowly and laid on the oppisite side of the bed. I turned to face him and he smiled gentely.

"Make yourself comfortable." I said, smiling.

"I am.." he said slowly.

"No your not, I can tell when your akwarded out or in an incomfortable postion." I said, smirking.

"I'm fine." he said.

"Fine, I'll do it for you." I said, tugging on his shirt. Then, once I pulled it off I was astonished. He had scars all over his chest, stomach, and back. I looked at him, his eyes were tightly shut and his face was full of hurt. I looked down again then, up. He kept his eyes shut and I began to speak.

"I'm sorry. I never-" I started.

"Shh..It's not your fault." he said putting a finger on my lips.

"Wh-hy?" I asked studdering.

"It's a long story.." he said.

"We have all night." I said.

"O.K," he said, "It all began when I was about 9. My parents were having a little baby boy. I was so excited, and so were my parents. They went out and bought the baby clothes, toys, and everything a baby would need. Then came that special day! I was waiting in the waiting room with the biggest grin on my face. A man or woman would come up and ask why I was so, happy and I would say 'I'm having a baby brother today!'. They would just laugh, and laugh. Then, a man in a long white coat with a blue mask on came out of my mom and dad's room. He took the mask off and sat beside me with a frown on his bulky face. I looked at him with my big smile, and I began to frown at him. He said that my brother was in heaven and wouldn't be down here anymore. I cried and cried. The crying continued until I was about 12 or 13, that's when cutting my chest, back, and stomach began. That's all, really."

I could tell he was about to cry so, I leaned in and hugged him. I could feel warm drops of water roll down my shoulder. 

"Your life is worse and I can't believe you don't do anything like that to yourself." he said with tears. I felt so bad so, I had to say it.


"Yeah, hun?" he asked.

"I do." I said taking my long sleeve off. His eyes were wide, thinking about what I was doing.

"What-t are you-u doing?" he asked. I pulled it over my head, and showed him my scars. He looked at me in astonishment, then traced my scars on my stomach, and wrists.

"I have more..." I said, looking down at the bed. He grabbed my chin, and pulled my head up so I could look into his eyes.

"Let me see how bad they are.." he said. I started to cry again, and he brought me into a hug and kissed my head.

"I can't...I just can't..." I said.

"Shh..shh..calm down.." he said into my ear. "Where are they at?"

"On my legs.." I said, crying. He gently took my pants off and looked at them.

"Oh my god. How long has it been since you last done it?" he asked.

"Today.." I started to cry even louder. He frowned and kissed my wrists and every scar. Then, he rocked me in his arms.

"How many people know?" he asked, kissing my head.

"You, only you." I said in a muffled cry.

"Promise me, you'll never do this to yourself again." he said. I just shook my head.

"I can't promise that." I said.

"You have TO! Promise me you'll never do this to yourself again!" he said, the slightest bit' angry. I shook my head up and down.

"I promise.." I said still crying, "Please don't tell anyone."

"I won't, hun. I won't." he said, placing his head on top of mine. I closed my eyes. "Go to sleep..I'll wake you up in the morning for school."

"But..but you need to go home so, you can get clothes and your school stuff." I said, in a tired tone.

"I'll get them in the morning. Just go to sleep." he said, with a smile.

"Oh..ok.." I said, slowly drifting to sleep. He looked at me and kissed my nose then, I fell asleep.


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