Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.

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40. Where I Belong

Isla's POV

 

I opened the door and surveyed the house. It was eerily quiet, making the house almost unfamiliar. I slowly walked in and felt shivers run down my spine. I just wanted to get my stuff and get out of here as quick as possible.

The boys stayed close around me, looking around the house themselves.

Suddenly, my gaze was drawn towards the spot where James had kicked me just two nights ago. It was still fresh in my memory and I quickly stuck my hand out and grabbed the closest hand that I could find as the memory flashed in my mind.

I closed my eyes, trying to clear the memory out of my head. I felt the hand squeeze mine and rubbed it gently with their thumb, just like I had done in the car with Niall. It felt familiar against mine, like I've held it a million times before.

I opened my eyes and looked down at the hand intertwined with mine. Slowly, I trailed my gaze up the arm and towards the face of the owner of the hand.

Niall.

He was looking down at me with a comforting smile and I returned it with one of my own. I kept my hand in his as I pulled him towards the stairs to head to my room. We all stayed quiet as they followed me up the stairs. As I turned my head around to see if the boys were still following me on the stairs, my eyes locked onto Harry's. I couldn't quite figure out the expression that he had on his face as he took in mine and Niall's interwoven fingers.

I gave him a reassuring smile, hoping he'd understand that I just needed to hold his hand for support through this difficult process. If he had been the one closest to me, I would've held onto his hand. The same thing would go for the other boys.

He gave me a somewhat understanding glance and nodded as I reached the top of the stairs. I faced forwards again and walked down the hall towards my room. I originally had my own room but when James became possessive and controlling, he would force me to sleep in his bed. I guess it was a good thing because now I wouldn't have to get many things from his room. I decided to get my things from his room first to get it out of the way.

I went into my bedroom and got out my two suitcases and duffel bag. I handed the duffel bag to Liam.

"Liam, could you go to the bathroom and just put anything you think is mine and put it in this bag?" I asked politely.

Fear filled his face as he slowly took the bag.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

He avoided my confused gaze. "It's just...you know...there might be girl...things...and..."

I giggled and rolled my eyes. "You are in a relationship with a girl, aren't you? Danielle? Don't you see these 'girl things' every day?"

"Yeah, but...I don't touch them."

"Oh, come on," Louis said with a grin, "I'll come help you, you big baby." He grabbed the bag from Liam and headed out the door and Liam quickly followed, looking incredibly embarrassed.

I just smiled and shook my head as they headed out. "It's the last door on the left!" I yelled out to them. I heard a door open and things being rummaged around.

"Louis, that wouldn't be Isla's! She doesn't need aftershave! Idiot! Put it back!"

Me, Niall, Harry and Zayn just laughed as we heard them arguing.

Once I recovered, I opened both of the suitcases and placed them on the bed.

"Okay, Harry, Niall, you two get everything out of the closet and put them in this bag," I said, pointing to the bag closest to them. "And try to fold my clothes as nicely as you can, please." I smiled at them and put my hands together in front of me, praying that they would follow my orders.

"Of course," Harry said, grinning and proceeding to go to the closet and pulling off clothes off of the hangers. Niall waited until Harry walked back to the bed to fold the shirt he pulled out and he grabbed another one for himself.

I turned to Zayn. "Could you get everything from the top of that table and put it in this bag?" I asked, pointing to the second bag.

"Your wish is my command," Zayn said, curtsying. He then walked up to the table that held my makeup, perfumes and jewelry and grabbed as much as he could before carefully placing it in the bag.

We all stopped and looked out the door once we heard Louis and Liam's laughing booming from the hallway.

"I don't even wanna know," I said before turning my attention back to my room. The boys just laughed before continuing their job.

Once I saw that they were doing their jobs, I walked over to my dresser and opened the top drawer. I instantly blushed as I saw my undergarments. I looked at the boys behind and saw that they were busy doing their jobs so I quickly grabbed as much as I could and basically threw it into the same bag that Zayn was putting my other things in. Once I emptied out my underwear drawer, I opened the next one and pulled out a shirt. I unfolded it and quickly used it to cover my pile of undergarments in my bag.

Once I realized that it I was safe, I proceeded to empty out the rest of the drawers. Once I got to the second last drawer, Liam and Louis came in with my bag and Louis placed it on the floor beside the door.

"I think we got everything," Liam said, taking a seat beside Niall where he started to help him fold clothes.

"Thanks," I said.

"What's going to happen to this house now that no one's going to live here?" I heard Louis say from behind me. I continued to grab the clothes from the drawer, not wanting to make eye contact.

I shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know how long James is going to be locked up for and honestly, I don't even care. It's his problem now. He forced me to live with him so he was the one paying for it."

Silence filled the room for a few seconds before Louis spoke.

"Well, good. Because me and Liam left him a little present in the bathroom that I'm sure he'll appreciate."

I couldn't help but grin as I turned around and faced them. "What did you do?"

Louis and Liam just smirked. "Oh, you'll see. You can take a look at it when we leave."

I just shook my head and then continued to empty out the last drawer. By the time I finished, everyone else had finished their job and they were just walking around the house, looking for anything that might belong to me. Honestly, I didn't really care if I left anything here. I just wanted to get myself out of here.

I closed the bags once we decided that we got everything. I took a deep breath and took one last look around the room. There weren't many bad memories in here seeing as I was rarely in here but it still held an uncomfortable feeling.

"I think that's everything," I said.

"Alright, me and Liam will put the bags in the car," Louis said. He grabbed the duffel bag and one of the suitcases and exited the room. Liam grabbed the second suitcase and followed after Louis.

Suddenly, a phone started ringing and Zayn pulled out his phone.

"Hello?" he said through the phone. "Oh hey, Paul...it's here?...great, thanks...yeah, see you soon...bye."

He hung up the phone and faced us. "Paul said the second car is here. I'll wait outside for you guys." He looked down at his phone again and walked out of the room.

I looked at the two boys in front of me.

"Thank you," I said, giving them a small smile. "For helping me."

"Don't worry about it," Niall said, shaking his head.

The atmosphere soon became awkward.

"Umm, should we go?" I asked.

They nodded at me and we walked out of the room. We walked down the hallway but we stopped as we took in the sight of the bathroom.

My jaw dropped to the floor but a laugh escaped as I saw what Louis and Liam had done to the bathroom. They had taken the toothpaste and drew all over the walls and mirror. There was toilet paper lined all around the room, in the sink, on the toilet, the bathtub and the floor. And written on one of the walls with a marker said, "You're lucky we didn't piss on the floor, you prick."

Niall and Harry laughed their heads off behind me and I continued to shake my head. He deserved it, no matter how bad a mess Liam and Louis made in the bathroom, I didn't care how James would react to it. If I could, I would trash the whole house but I didn't want to waste one more second doing anything James-related. So I just turned around and continued down the stairs.

However, I stopped at the entrance and turned around to face Harry and Niall. They gave me confused looks as they approached me.

"If it's okay, I'd like a moment alone before we leave," I asked.

"Are you sure?" Harry asked with furrowed eyebrows. I just nodded in response, not wanting to explain.

They looked at me with apprehension before nodding and walking out and closing the door.

Once I saw that I was alone, I looked around the room, taking a deep breath.

"Bye," I said with a small voice.

This goodbye wasn't just for the house. It was a goodbye for the pain that I've felt, the tears that were wasted, the torture I endured, the memories that I wanted to leave here along with the part of me that went months feeling empty and numb. I wanted to leave that girl behind and I never wanted to see her again. I didn't want to take it with me now that I was finally going home, back to the people I love, back to the people that cared about me.

Once I felt the closure that I needed, I turned around and opened the door. I felt the heat from the sun and took in the brightness of the light. I saw the boys goofing around on the driveway and found myself smiling. It was a complete contrast to the darkness that I felt just a second ago being inside that house. As I closed the door behind me, I felt my mind and body reach peace and serenity. I left everything that's happened in the past four months locked up inside that house and I walked towards the boys, not taking one last look back at the house.

They saw me approaching them and they gave me a smile until I finally reached them.

"Is everything okay?" Liam asked.

I smiled and nodded. "Everything's great."

They grinned back at me and suddenly, I felt multiple arms around me as I was pulled into a group hug with me in the middle.

"So, you're finally going home?" Louis said.

"Finally," I said. "I can't wait." I smiled and soon, I felt myself getting crushed as they hugged me tighter. "That is, if you don't suffocate me now." They laughed and they pulled away from the hug.

"Okay, so who's going with who?" Niall asked. Everyone started looking at each other.

"Well, I'll be driving my car. Anyone who wants to join me is more than welcome," Harry said and I found him looking at me the entire time. I smiled at him.

"Me!" Louis exclaimed, shooting his hand up. I laughed as I saw the grimace that passed over Harry's face for just a second before he smiled back at his friend.

"So that means that I have to drive the other one?" Niall said.

"That's true," Liam said. "I call going with Niall!"

"Zayn, how about you?" Harry asked.

"Wherever Isla isn't," he said.

"Excuse me?" I said, crossing my eyes and raising my eyebrows at him.

His eyes immediately opened wide at my hostility.

"I didn't mean it like that!" he said quickly, putting his hands out in defense. "I just meant that I'd go in the car that you didn't want to go in so I can have the back seat for myself...so I can sleep."

I smiled and rolled my eyes at him. "Of course, how could I forget? Okay, yeah, that's fine."

A solemn expression appear on Harry's face. "So, which car did you want to go in?" he asked. I saw him flicker his eyes towards Niall.

His question basically meant did I want to go with him or Niall? I did want to go with Niall so I could talk to him but that'd be impossible now since Liam would be with us. Or I could go with Harry who I also wanted to talk to but I wouldn't feel comfortable saying in front of Louis.

He sensed my indecisiveness and spoke. "You can go with Niall, if you want," he said, a hint of hurt playing on his features, "I mean, Niall and Liam."

I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I know that either decision I made would affect one of them so I came up with an idea.

"Zayn, rock paper scissors," I said, holding out my fist. He looked at my fist before moving his confused eyes at me.

"Huh?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowing in deeper confusion.

"Rock paper scissors. Whoever wins will go with Harry and the other one with Niall and then halfway home, we'll make a pit stop and switch. Sound good?" I explained. I saw Harry relax at my idea and a smile replaced his frown.

"Alright," he said slowly before sticking out his own fist.

"Rock paper scissors," I said, moving my fist before forming scissors on my hand. Zayn chose paper and I proceeded to "cut" it with my scissors.

"I win," I said with a grin. "Alright, so I'll ride in Harry's car for the first half and then I'll switch to Niall's. Is that okay with everyone?" I looked around at each of them and rested my eyes on Niall's. He looked sad but quickly put on a smile once he saw me looking at him. The rest of them said they were okay with it and they proceeded to walk to their assigned car and getting in. I was left standing in front of Niall.

"Don't be upset, Niall," I said. I grabbed his hands and held it in mine. I flash of surprise passed over his face before he looked up at me. "I'll switch halfway through and I'll convince Liam to let me sit in the front with you, okay?"

He instantly smiled as he pulled me in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around my waist as I wrapped mine around his neck. He pulled back a few seconds later but kept me in his arms.

"I'll kick Liam out if he doesn't," he said. I giggled and soon, I found myself getting lost in his eyes. "I'll miss you."

I felt butterflies in my stomach but I quickly recovered by rolling my eyes. "It'll only be a couple of hours, silly."

"Two hours too long," he said. He suddenly had a serious expression on his face. "After not seeing you for four months, I don't want to waste another second away from you, let alone two hours."

My heartbeat quickened at his words and I looked back at him with a serious look. What did he mean by those words? Did he mean those words with the image of us together in his head or as best friends?

"I know but it'll pass by quickly," I said giving him a reassuring look. "But I mean, I don't envy you, having Liam and Zayn in the car with you." I smirked at him.

The seriousness on his face was quickly replaced with a smile as he rolled his eyes.

"Don't remind me," he said. "If you see me pull over, it means that I've decided to kill them."

I laughed. "I would go with you so I can babysit them but I don't think Harry--" I quickly stopped as I saw the solemn expression appear on his face. "I don't think Harry and Louis will be too happy. They need someone to annoy." I quickly recovered as I observed Niall's face. He gave me a small smile and nodded before hugging me again.

"I'll see you later," he said. I just hugged him tighter, hoping to cheer him up a bit.

"Hey!"

We jumped away from each other as we looked over at Louis sticking his head out of the window.

"We'll leave you here if you don't move your asses this second!" he shouted.

Me and Niall laughed as we pulled out of the embrace and approached Louis.

"What's got your panties in a bunch?" I asked as Niall and Harry laughed.

Louis stuck his tongue out at me. "I just got a call from El and she's wondering when we're going to be home."

"Oh," I said. "Sorry. Yeah, we can go now." I turned to Niall. "I'll see you soon." I gave his hand a quick squeeze before I opened the back door and got inside.

I was about to put on my seatbelt before Harry spoke. "Hey, Lou. Is it okay if Isla sits in the front?"

"Why?" Louis whined.

"Please?" Harry asked, looking at Louis with puppy dog eyes.

Louis just grumbled and unbuckled his seatbelt before hopping out of the front seat and waited outside for me with his arms crossed. He looked just like a little kid being told he couldn't have candy.

"Are you sure?" I asked Harry. "He looks upset." I faced Harry and saw him looking at Louis.

"I know but he'll understand soon that I just want to talk to you," he explained.

I was about to say that I could talk to him from back here but I knew that it would upset him. Plus, I really did want to sit in the front with him.

"Alright," I said before I nervously got out from the back seat. Louis avoided my gaze and was about to go into the back seat but I walked in front of him, blocking his way.

"I'm sorry, Louis," I said.

He looked behind me at Harry and we saw that Harry was looking away. Louis leaned in and whispered in my ear, "it's totally fine. I'm just messing with Harry." He pulled back and saw him grin but he quickly recovered so that Harry wouldn't see. I smiled up at him and gave him a hug.

"Thank you," I said. I pulled back and I moved to the side to let him in. I walked to the front and hopped into the front seat. I saw Harry looking at me carefully, giving him a smile. I saw relief wash over his face, most likely worried that I felt bad for taking Louis' seat.

I buckled my seatbelt and settled in my seat. However, I quickly turned around and faced Louis.

"I'll get you a snack when we stop, I feel terrible for taking your seat," I said.

"Don't be," Louis said. "I swear I'm over it. But if Harry buys me a snack, I'll forgive him."

Harry turned to look at him and he gave him a smile.

"I'll get you the best snack ever," Harry said.

"You better," Louis said. I looked between the two boys and saw a smile creep onto Louis' face.

"Oh, you know I can't stay mad at you," Louis said.

"Aw, Boo Bear," Harry cooed.

I laughed as Louis rolled his eyes. "Just drive," he said.

"Yes, sir," Harry replied. He faced the front again and turned on the car. He drove up to the other car, which was in front of ours and stopped right beside it. Niall opened his window and looked over at us.

"You guys ready?" Harry said.

"Yup," Niall replied.

"We'll go first, just text Louis if any of you need to stop but we'll stop halfway for sure," Harry said.

"Sounds good," Niall said. "See you guys in a bit." He gave me a warm smile.

"Ow!" I heard Liam yell from inside Niall's car. Me, Harry and Louis laughed as we watched Niall close his eyes and grimacing.

"I'm not stopping if any of these two need to. The faster we get home, the better," Niall grumbled. "Stop it, you two!" He looked at Liam and then Zayn through the rearview mirrors. I saw Liam face forwards again and frowning.

"He started it," I heard Zayn say.

"I did not!" Liam exclaimed, crossing his arms.

"Shut up!" Niall said.

"Sorry, Niall," I said, looking at him with sympathy.

"Let's just go before I kill myself," Niall said, "after I kill these two."

Harry laughed before putting the car into drive again. "See you in a bit."

"See ya," Niall said before closing his window. I closed mine as well noticing raindrops falling onto the windshield.

"Let's go," Harry said before pulling out of the driveway and onto the road.

I took a deep breath. "I can't wait," I said with a smile.

"Can't wait for what, babe?" I heard Louis say from behind me.

I smiled at Harry and turned around and smiled at Louis.

"To finally go back to where I belong."

 

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This chapter is dedicated to Never_Gonna_Change and Sophie!! Go read their movellas, I've already mentioned them in other chapters :) And also ValTommo91 , she doesn't have any movellas but I wanted to mention her because I thought her comment was lovely :) Thank you, guys <3

 

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So anyways, sorry if this chapter wasn't that interesting, it's kind of a filler chapter. I just wanted to build it up before things get exciting again and I didn't want to just jump into it right away. So I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think :)

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