Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.

1846Likes
2714Comments
568924Views
AA

38. We Need To Talk

Isla’s POV

 

I woke up, my muscles aching. I stretched a little bit before I opened my eyes and set my sight on an unfamiliar room.

I started to panic but then I saw the sleeping bodies of Sophie and Trine on opposite sides of me on the bed.

How did I get here? What happened last night?

I looked at my clothes and realized that I didn’t change from the party last night.

The party.

Louis.

Liam.

Zayn.

Harry.

Niall.

James…

The events of last night flashed through my mind and I had to close my eyes and take deep breaths in order to prevent a panic attack.

After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and looked at Sophie and Trine in turn, making sure they were still sleeping before I carefully slid down the bed and getting off.

I stood up and looked around the room and felt a rush of relief as I saw my bag near the corner. I walked to it and opened it up. I was glad that I brought an extra pair of clothes to change with. I grabbed them along with my toothbrush and headed for the door.

I immediately froze with my hand on the doorknob. Were the boys still here?

I placed my ear on the door and listened for any sounds.

None.

I quietly opened the door, looking behind me as I did so to see if I woke up either of the girls. Once I was safe, I walked through and quietly closed the door behind me. I looked up and down the hall and went to look for the bathroom. I approached a door that was wide open and looked inside. I slightly jumped as I realized it was a bedroom and saw that there were two people sleeping on the bed. I slowly crept up to the bed and realized that it was Louis and Zayn. They also hadn’t changed and it looked like they just crashed on the bed. I smiled lightly at the two boys before I turned around to continue looking for the bathroom.

I opened the door across from the room where Louis and Zayn were and breathed in a sigh of relief as I finally found the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and put my things on the side of the sink. I changed first, putting on dark blue, skinny jeans and a white, tank top. I completed the outfit with a plaid shirt that I left unbuttoned. I tied my hair up in a messy bun and turned on the sink to wash the makeup off from last night. Not bothering to put on makeup again, I proceeded to brush my teeth.

Once I finished, I stepped back and looked at myself in the mirror. Everything seemed normal except my face. There were dark circles under my eyes; my face paler than usual. But the thing that I was most shocked to see was the sadness in my eyes. It didn’t hold the brightness that it used to have; it was just blank now. I looked away, unable to handle looking at myself anymore.

So I folded my dress and grabbed my brush and headed back to the room where I slept. I put my things away and then looked around the room. I could stay here and wait for someone to wake up but I didn’t know how long until one of the girls did.

With a deep breath, I headed out the door and walked down the stairs. I looked around the entire first floor and froze as I saw two more sleeping bodies asleep, one on each couch in the living room.

I slowly walked up to the closest one and saw Harry sleeping peacefully on the couch. I observed his face, taking in every inch of it. I seemed to have forgotten small things about his face. Like his long, full eyelashes that were resting against his cheeks or the light freckles on his nose.

Suddenly, my gaze focused on his hand that was resting beside his face. His right hand was red and swollen. There were small scratches on some of the knuckles and parts of his hand were bruised.

The memory of Harry beating up James last night flashed in my mind and I took a small step back. I was scared of Harry last night but I was also scared for him. I knew that Harry only did that because of the things we had found out about James. I just wished that things had gone differently. I was also scared that something bad would happen to him, that James would hit him back. That scared me the most. I know I should be angry with him but I knew that I had to put myself in his shoes and see things in his perspective. I would do the same for him if I were in his shoes.

And then I remembered the look of guilt that he gave me when he realized what he’d done. He was probably worried that he’d done something to lose my respect for him but he needed to know that I didn’t. Even though I wished he hadn’t done it, I was partially glad he did cause James pain because I now knew like Harry still cared for me. Like all of the boys still cared about me.

I would just need to talk to Harry about it, along with many other things. I’ll just have to wait until he wakes up.

I looked at Harry’s angelic face one more time before I set my eyes on the other boy who also meant the world to me.

I walked over to Niall’s sleeping body and couldn’t help but suppress a giggle at the way his body was sprawled across the couch with one leg hanging off of the edge and his mouthing hanging open.

I don’t know how this boy does the things he does to me. Even when things are serious, he’s able to put a smile on my face.

However, my smile slowly turned into a frown as I took in how tired his face looked. He looked paler, his eyes sunken with bags underneath. His hair didn’t have the usual shine that it had. All of this, along with the pain that I saw in his eyes when I first saw him last night, made me guilty about the thought of how bad Niall must have taken things when I left.

And, last night, when Niall had protected me against James, another wave of guilt washed over me at how selfish I was being for causing him and Harry and the rest of the boys the pain that I did when all they did for me was care about me. I wish I could take it back. I wish I had never left.

Tears started forming in my eyes and I quickly walked away before they escaped and would cause one of them to wake up. I walked through the doors that lead to the kitchen and jumped as I bumped into a hard body.

I looked up and saw Liam looking at me with a small smile.

“Good morning,” Liam said.

“Morning, Liam.”

We froze as we heard movement from the living room. We waited a few seconds before silence filled the house again.

Liam put a finger across his lips, “Shh, let’s go outside. Don’t wanna wake anyone up.”

I just nodded as Liam held the door open for me and we walked to the front door. We went outside and we sat on the top steps in front of the door.

It was 7am, so the sun was just coming out and the birds were now singing.

I took a deep breath, breathing in the fresh air, letting it clear my mind.

I closed my eyes. A few seconds later, I jumped as Liam moved beside me, forgetting that he was there.

I opened my eyes and set my gaze on him.

He gave me a small smile. “So, how are you?”

There was that question again. It seemed so simple but answering it truthfully was a hard thing to do right now.

“I’ve been better,” I said, giving him a weak smile.

He just nodded, reading between the lines and understanding that I didn’t want to talk about everything right now.

“How were Harry and Niall when I left?” I don’t know what made those words come out of my mouth and I wish I could take it back.

Liam looked at me, hurt passing through his eyes. “They didn’t take it well. They beat themselves up blaming themselves for causing you to leave. Harry took out his anger on others but then we encouraged him to take it out by boxing. It seemed to help him but we could tell that he was still beating himself up. He didn’t talk to any of us for a few days and we let him have some space but eventually me, Louis and Zayn had to help him.” He paused and took a deep breath. “I think Niall took it worse though. He wouldn’t eat or sleep for days. He didn’t talk to anyone either for a few days, not even his parents. He would always be finding ways to look for you, he never gave up. Me, Louis and Zayn were also able to help him but he wasn’t the same anymore. And things got worse for both of them again once they started having dreams about you. Every time, we’d have to help them and make sure that they don’t go back to closing themselves off again. Eventually, they were able to realize that they shouldn’t let it affect them anymore and they tried to put it in the back of their mind, especially since we started working again. We were surprised that Harry and Niall seemed to get along better than we thought. We thought that they would be angry at each other for what happened but I guess they just knew how the other one felt and only had each other to talk about how they felt. Altogether, it was hard but I understand how they must’ve felt.”

Liam’s eyes widened as he took in the tears that were streaming down my face.

“Shit. Isla, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Liam said frantically, “I just thought you’d wanna know, you know, to know how much they were hurt but also how much they wanted you back. They never gave up on you. We were worried that you thought that and that’s why you never came home.”

I shook my head, wiping away the tears. “No, don’t apologize, Liam. I needed to know that. I need to know how much I hurt them. I need to tell them how deeply sorry I am for causing them pain.”

“Don’t blame yourself too much, Isla,” he said, “we know how hurt you were when you found out the truth before you left. We’re not putting it against you or think that you deserved it.” He paused. “Why don’t we wait until the rest of the lads wake up so we can all talk about it? This is just my side of the story, I’m sure you’ll understand better when Harry and Niall tell you their side.”

I just nodded. I felt so many emotions right now but guilt was overpowering every other emotion. I just took in another deep breath to clear my mind and closed my eyes.

Silence fell between us for a while until Liam cleared his throat.

“Did…did he hurt you badly?”

My eyes shot open and widened at the sudden change in tone of the conversation. But I quickly recovered but couldn’t find myself able to look at him in the eyes.

“No, he just slapped me last night…”

I waited for his response.

“I meant, since you’ve known him,” Liam said, “what else has he done to you? Please be honest with me. I know that that wasn’t the first time he hit you.”

My heartbeat quickened as flashbacks of James hitting me came playing in my mind. I finally gathered enough strength to look up at Liam’s worry-filled eyes.

I cleared my throat. “He’s punched me. Pulled my hair. Pushed me. Thrown things at me. Kicked me.” I proceeded to lift up my tank top to show him the bruise on my stomach. “He did this to me two days ago.”

His eyes grew wide as he looked at it.

“Oh my gosh, Isla!”

He moved closer to me to lightly brush the bruised skin. It didn’t hurt as much as before but it was still tender.

“Does it hurt?”

“A little bit,” I answered truthfully, “I’m just glad I didn’t break any ribs.”

He pulled his hand away and I pulled down my shirt again. I jumped again as I felt Liam close his hand on one of mine.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” Liam said. “If I could, I would take away all of the pain you felt.”

I gave him a smile, for the first time, feeling it reach my eyes. I was thankful for people like Liam in my life.

“Thank you, Liam,” I said quietly. “But let’s just forget about it for now.”

There was one thing that’s started to bother me since Liam brought up the abuse that I experienced.

“What…what happened to James?” I asked.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s locked up for good,” Liam said. “We called the police and they took him away after we explained what happened.” He paused, looking at me carefully. “Everything that happened.”

I nodded, knowing what he meant but not knowing what to say.

“We told the police what he did to you today, what you told us he’s done to you before and Trine even told them about the one time she saw James hit you at work. She apologized and felt so bad for not saying anything earlier but she was just worried about bringing it up to you.”

I shook my head, feeling guilty once again. “I know. They’ve tried talking to me about it before but I wouldn’t because I was worried that if they found out, James would…do something to them. I didn’t want them to get hurt.”

“I understand,” he said, “but you know we all wished you would have so that you wouldn’t have to deal with him anymore.” He paused and suddenly seemed nervous. “If you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t you break up with him?”

Fear filled my body as another memory flashed through my mind. “I tried one time but he got angry with me and abused me again that night. He said that if I decided to break up with him again…he would hurt every person that I care about and then he would…” The tears fell rapidly down my face. “He said he’d kill me.”

Anger flashed through Liam’s face but he quickly recovered as he brought a hand up to my face to wipe away the tears.

“Shh, shh, don’t cry,” he said. “He’s gone now. He won’t be able to hurt you anymore. Even if he gets out of prison, he’s gonna have to go through us to get to you.”

I smiled at him again and just rested my head on his shoulders. He wrapped his arms around me, rubbing my arm soothingly.

“Why don’t we go inside and prepare breakfast for everyone? They should be waking up soon,” Liam suggested. He was about to get up but I stopped him.

I looked at him with worried eyes. “What am I going to say to them?”

He held my hand again. “We’ll all get together and talk about everything. Don’t worry. We’re not judging you for anything; I know that that’s what you’re worried about. We love you, Isla. We’re not gonna let this affect things between us. We’re here for you. We always have and we always will.”

I gave him a relieved smile, tears had started to form in my eyes again. But this time, they were tears of happiness. Liam’s words just brought me out of the feelings of shame and guilt that have been swarming in my mind.

I put my arms around Liam and hugged him. He hugged me back, allowing me to feel safe again.

A few seconds later, we both jumped back in fright as the front door opened forcefully.

“Isla?! Are--oh my gosh, Isla. There you are,” I looked up and saw a frantic Niall looking down at me and Liam. We quickly stood up as Harry, Louis, Zayn, Trine and Sophie came running up behind Niall.

Niall walked up to me carefully. “I…we thought you…left again.” Pain was clear in his eyes and guilt washed through me again.

I don’t know how I can ever make up for causing the pain I caused them, especially Niall. I’d kill myself before I had the chance to hurt them again.

I stood there, feeling insecure with all of them looking at me. I didn’t know what to say. However, Liam came to the rescue.

“We were both up and we wanted to get some fresh air and didn’t want to wake anyone up,” Liam explained, putting an arm around my shoulders. “I’m sorry, I should’ve left a note or something.”

Relief passed through everyone’s eyes as I saw their bodies relax. I felt insecure again as their gazes set on me again.

This time, Louis came to the rescue. “Why don’t guys take a picture, it’ll last longer.” A few of us chuckled and the atmosphere around us lightened up a bit.

“How about me and Sophie make some breakfast? I’m sure everyone’s hungry,” Trine said.

We all agreed as we all walked back into the house.

I felt multiple pairs of eyes set on me as I looked down at my hands on my lap. Trine and Sophie were making breakfast in the kitchen and me and the boys were in the living room. The TV was on but I’d bet all of the money I had that no one was paying attention to it.

I saw Liam place his hand on mine from beside me. I looked up at him and saw him giving me a reassuring smile and nodding.

I took a deep breath and finally mustered up the courage to look up at each of the boys in turn, allowing myself to look at Harry and Niall and second longer than everyone else, and say:

“We need to talk.”

 

********************************

 

This chapter is dedicated to Rubyreddancer ! Go read her movella "Love in Style" !

 

********************************

 

Once again i went ms. perfectionist on this chapter -.- ughh i just want it to be perfect. i didn't know what things to include in this chapter and what things to leave for the next chapter when they all talk about everything. i think i figured it out.

So please let me know what you think of this chapter!

Please like, comment, fan and favourite!

Anyways, continue to write comments and i'll continue to choose the best one to do a shoutout for :) remember, it has to be about the story, specifically about the chapter that i just put up. and DON'T put the name of the movella that you want me to promote in the comment or i won't choose it and i'll delete it. i'll go to your profile and find the name and if i promote the wrong one, just kik me.

My kik is livelaughlove47

And follow me on twitter! @sheeriostyles

Side note: to the people i'm talking to on kik, especially the ones that i notify when i put up a new chapter. If i see that the conversation's all just me saying "next chapter's up" and you guys don't reply, then i'm not gonna notify you anymore. I only started doing that because a lot of people were actually talking to me on kik so the least i could do was notify everyone when i put up a new part. It legit takes me 10 minutes to message everyone on kik. so yeah if you don't talk to me on kik, i'm gonna take that as a sign that you don't wanna talk to me anymore and i won't notify you anymore. i know this sounds mean but i just don't wanna waste my time messaging people who don't talk to me.

anyways, i still love you all! <3

Thanks for reading!

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...