Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.

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8. Wake Up

Niall's POV

 

I closed the door behind me and headed towards Isla’s bed.

This is the part that I’ve been dreading since I got to the hospital. I hated seeing Isla hurt but seeing her like this was worse that I thought. My heart hurt just looking at her.

Her injuries looked a million times worse up close. I couldn’t stand looking at it without me hurting inside.

I sat on the chair and held her uninjured hand. I put it up to my lips and I kissed it and kept it there for a long time. Soon, tears had started forming in my eyes again and slide down my face.

I laid my head down on the bed on top of her hand and continued to cry. Soon, I started thinking about our times together. Our first date, our first kiss, the first time we made love. And the tears kept coming, landing on her delicate hand.

I just wanted her to wake up.

I wanted to see her beautiful, green eyes looking back at mine. I wanted to see her smile that made me smile every time I saw it. I wanted to kiss her soft lips again, feeling them kiss me back.

But I knew that right now, I couldn’t.

All I could do was be here with her, holding her and kissing her hand. Her hand that today had held onto mine; had been going through my hair as we were kissing. The memory sent shivers down my spine.

Throughout the night, I stayed awake. I couldn’t sleep, hoping that she would wake up and this will all be over.

A couple of times during the night a nurse had come in and checked up on her. They told me that nothing has changed and that they’d be back again to check on her.

Around 5am though, my eyelids started dropping until they shut and I drifted into a restless sleep, still holding onto Isla’s hand.

 

**

 

Harry’s POV

 

I couldn’t sleep when I got home from the hospital. Yesterday kept playing over and over in my head and haunting me. The guilt had taken over and consumed my thoughts.

None of this would’ve happened if I just controlled myself and not kissed Isla. I was being so selfish. I hurt her in every way possible and I was beating myself up over it, I deserved it.

I always checked my phone to see whether there were any news about Isla but none came.

It was 8 in the morning and I still couldn’t sleep so I decided to get up and take a shower. I wanted to see Isla again so I went into my car and drove there.

The whole ride to the hospital I was trying to think of what I’d say to Niall when I got there but I knew that he still wouldn’t talk to me but I would still try. I didn’t like the fact that I hurt one of my best friends. I had to make things better.

Once I got to the hospital, I sat in the parking lots for a few minutes taking deep breaths. Even though I saw her yesterday, I still had to prepare myself, I hate seeing her like this, in a hospital bed and in a coma.

I finally got myself to get out of the car and into the hospital.

I took the elevator up to her floor and walked towards her room.

I looked in through the window and saw her, still the same as yesterday, asleep.

I saw Niall asleep on the chair next to her, holding her hand tightly. Even though I felt guilty about what I did yesterday, it didn’t stop me from me wanting to be Niall right now, being with her and holding her, waiting for her to wake up and me being the one she sees first.

I quietly opened the door and walked over to where Niall was. I gently tapped his shoulder, waking him up.

I saw him slowly open his eyes, trying to adjust to the light. He lifted his head and rubbed his eyes and looked towards me. When he realized it was me, his eyebrows furrowed and his jaw tightened.

“What do you want?” he snapped. He was still holding onto Isla’s hand.

I cleared my throat. “I just came over to see how she was doing. And also thought that you would want to go home and take a shower or get something to eat. I know you’ve been here all night,” I mumbled, nervously. I started fidgeting with my watch as I waited for him to say something.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair and closed his eyes.

“Why? So you can be alone with her, hoping that she’ll wake up and then kiss her again?” he replied, anger filling every word.

His words hurt me but not as much as what I did yesterday hurt him. That I know of.

“Look, about that, I wanted to explain, I--,” I started to say before he interrupted me.

“I still don’t want to hear it right now,” he mumbled, holding his free hand up, stopping me, “but I guess I need to go home and freshen up.”

He got up before leaning over Isla and giving her a long kiss on her forehead. He straightened up, looking at her for a while longer before turning around and heading for the door, without a glance towards me.

“This is probably the longest time you’ve gone without food, mate,” I said, trying to make a joke and lighten the tension. I could see his reflection on the door window and thought I saw a hint of a smile on his face but it went away a second later.

All he said was, “Yeah, probably.” And with that he opened the door and left.

I sighed, knowing that I tried but I would have to do something major to get him to forgive me and I would spend forever to get him to.

I turned around and sat down on the chair that was previously vacated by Niall. I looked at Isla and grabbed her hand. And soon enough, I was crying.

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