Gotta Be You

I know how they both feel and now all that’s left to do is to find out how I feel.

And right now, my heart is stuck in the middle of a tug-o-war. Niall pulling hard on one side and Harry pulling just as hard on the other.

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25. The Moment of Truth

Harry’s POV

 

Today was the day. Today was the day that we’re going to tell Isla everything.

Me, Niall and Isla were in the car heading to the hospital to get some last tests done on Isla to see if she was fully healed.

I was feeling many emotions right now. I was anxious about finding out whether Isla was all healed and better. I was beginning to feel worried about when we'd have to tell Isla the whole truth. I was feeling really nervous knowing that Isla might break up with me if we tell her the truth. But I was feeling optimistic that Isla would still want to be with me after all of this.

I had attempted to give her the best week of her life. The last week we had together before we had to tell her the truth. I have taken her to a romantic dinner every night. We went to a carnival. We went to the movies. We went on picnics in the park. And then we’d go lie under the stars and talk about anything and everything.

 

~Flashback~

 

We were lying on a blanket in our backyard. The stars were out and silence surrounded us.

Isla was resting her head on my chest, with her arms wrapped around my body and our legs tangled up. I was rubbing her arm with my one hand and running my other hand gently in her hair.

“Sing to me, Harry.”

I smiled and rested my lips on the top of her head.

“What song?”

I felt her shrug and say, “surprise me.”

“Ok. Hmmm.” I began thinking of the perfect song to sing to her. And then I remember the song that played on our first date.

 

“Settle down with me

Cover me up

Cuddle me in

 

Lie down with me

And hold me in your arms

 

And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck

I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet

And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

 

Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We're falling in love

 

Settle down with me

And I'll be your safety

You'll be my lady

 

I was made to keep your body warm

But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms

 

Oh no

My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck

I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet

And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

 

Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We're falling in love

 

Yeah I've been feeling everything

From hate to love

From love to lust

From lust to truth

I guess that's how I know you

So I hold you close to help you give it up

 

So kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We're falling in love

 

Kiss me like you wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

You wanna be loved

This feels like falling in love

Falling in love

We're falling in love.”

 

When I finished the song, she lifted her head up and looked at me. She had tears in her eyes but it was accompanied with a sweet smile.

“That was the song that--”

“Yeah, I know,” I interrupted, “how could I ever forget that night.” I smiled back to the her and wiped the tears that escaped from her eyes.

“I love you, Harry Styles.”

I felt butterflies in my stomach and my heart quicken. Only Isla was able to do that, even after being together for so long. It’s like every day is our first date. I fall in love with her even more, even though I already love her with all my heart.

“I love you, too, Isla.”

She lowered her face down to mine, brushing her lips against my lips, sending shivers down my spine.

And, finally, the thing that I crave every second of every day of my life, she kissed me. It was a sweet kiss but it held all of the love that we had for each other.

I moved my hand down to the middle of her back and supported her as I rolled us over so that she was lying down with me over her, protecting her.

I started to deepen the kiss and I licked her bottom lip, asking for entrance. She opened her mouth right away and our tongues immediately danced in rhythm. She ran both of her hands through my hair and pulled me closer to her. I couldn’t resist it anymore and I let out a moan. One of her hands let go of my hair and trailed down to my chest.

We had continued this amazing kiss for about 10 minutes until we had to stop to catch our breaths.

I rested my forehead on hers, both of us breathing hard and fast, our eyes still closed.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” she whispered to me.

“I can’t picture my life without you, I honestly can’t.”

I couldn’t stop smiling, this night, this moment, I could stay here forever and I’d be the happiest person in the world.

 

~End of flashback~

 

It was just yesterday that we shared that amazing night and it could all be taken away when we tell her the truth.

But I didn’t want to worry about that right now. Right now, we had to focus on Isla’s health.

We had finally reached the hospital and we got out and made our way inside.

 

**

Isla’s POV

 

I took a deep breath as the doctor finally came into the room and me, Harry and Niall were waiting in.

“Hello, Miss Abbott, how are feeling?” he asked me as he closed the door behind him and sat down.

“I’m nervous but altogether, I’m really good.”

“Well, there’s no more need to be nervous. I have the results of your tests.”

My heart started beating faster and I grabbed both Harry’s and Niall’s hands to support me. I felt both of them rub my hand with their free hand and I instantly felt calmer.

“And?” I asked anxiously.

“Miss Abbott, I am please to say that you are well and healed,” he said with a smile. I breathed a sigh of relief and couldn’t help smiling myself. Harry and Niall both yelled “Yes!”.

“That’s so great!” I exclaimed.

“Yes. The x-rays showed nothing out of the ordinary. Same with the MRI. The neuro tests. All of it. And your arm is all healed now.”

“I’m so happy right now.” And I couldn’t help the tears that started forming in my eyes. Happy tears.

“I don’t wanna keep you any longer. Now go and celebrate,” he said, standing up.

“Thank you so much, Doctor. For everything you’ve done for me,” I said, standing up and shaking his hand.

“You’re very welcome.”

“Yes, thank you, Doctor,” Harry said.

“It’s my pleasure. Now, if you don’t have any questions, I have to go.”

“We’re okay. Bye, Doctor,” I said.

And with that, he left the room. I waited until the door closed and then I jumped up and down and screamed with joy. I jumped into Harry’s arms and hugged him.

“I’m so glad you’re okay,” he said. We pulled back and I kissed him. But he instantly pulled away, stopping the kiss with wide eyes.

I was suddenly confused. Especially when he kept looking between me and Niall. I thought he’d be happy that I was okay.

But my thoughts were interrupted when Niall gently grabbed my arm.

“Do I get a hug, too?” he asked. I quickly forgot about what had just happened when I turned around and gave Niall a hug, too. I had a huge smile on my face.

I finally found out that I was okay and healed and I had my two favourite people here with me.

I pulled back, leaving one arm around Niall’s shoulders and put my other one around Harry’s waist.

“So,” I said, looking at each of them in turn, “how are we gonna celebrate?”

“How about we just have the guys and their girlfriends over and just hang out?” Niall suggested.

“Yeah, sounds great!” I replied.

“Okay, then, let’s go,” Harry said.

I linked my arms around each of theirs and we walked off, out of the hospital and we headed home.

Harry had texted everyone to come over to our place as soon as possible as we stopped by a grocery store to get some snacks and drinks.

When we got home, everyone else was already there waiting in the driveway talking to each other.

Once I got out of the car, I was smothered with hugs.

“So glad to hear you’re alright!”

“I knew you’d be okay!”

“Now you can be a normal person and are finally be able to get out!” Of course, from Louis.

“Aww, thanks, guys, I’m so glad you’re all here to celebrate,” I said.

“Let’s get this party started!” Zayn said.

We all headed inside and sat in the living room.

“Hey, Harry, can I talk to you for a second?” I heard Niall say.

“Yeah, sure,” Harry replied.

Ever since Harry had stopped the kiss at the doctor’s office, I had grown more and more suspicious with him and Niall. I’ve noticed them talking a lot lately and whenever I would join them, they would suddenly stop talking.

I saw them walk away and into the guest room. I know I shouldn’t go eavesdrop on them but it was really bothering me. So I excused myself and said that I had to get something in my room. However, I slipped into the bathroom that connected into the hallway and the guest room. I left the light off and tiptoed beside the door that connected into the guest room, which was slightly open.

I could hear Niall and Harry.

“What’s up, Niall?”

“I just wanted to know whether we’re still gonna tell her tonight.”

Tell me what?

“Um, yeah, if you want,” Harry said, then he paused. “But if it was me, I’d wait until tomorrow. I mean, she just found out that she’s okay. We should give her some time.”

I heard Niall sigh.

“And I’m not just saying that cause…you know…” Harry stuttered, “I just want to make sure she’s okay to handle the truth.”

What truth? Were they lying to me about something?

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Niall said, “I guess today we can just tell her other things that she doesn’t remember.”

“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan,” Harry said.

“Okay, let’s go back down before Isla gets suspicious.”

I heard them leave and go downstairs and I quickly went into my room and into my bathroom. They can’t know that I was upstairs listening to them.

I locked the door and sat on the edge of the tub.

What the hell were they talking about? What’s the truth? Why did they have to wait until tonight to tell me? Why was it only Niall and Harry talking?

A million questions came rushing to my head and I suddenly became lightheaded.

I needed to know.

And there was one way that I could possibly find out.

Twitter.

I took my phone out of my pocket and opened the Twitter app. I didn’t noticed how much I was shaking until I saw how hard it was for me to type.

I was finally able to reactivate my Twitter and as it was loading, my heart beat faster, my palms started sweating. I jumped when I heard a knock on my door.

“Yes?” I asked, trying not to make my voice shake.

“Are you alright?” I heard El through the door.

“Yeah, I’m just freshening up,” I replied, “I’ll be down soon.”

“Okay, love,” she said and I heard footsteps walking away.

I took at deep breath and looked back down to my phone. I first went to my notifications and, boy, did I regret doing it.

I saw many tweets saying:

“Hope you feel better.”

“Get better, Isla.”

“We love you, Isla.”

But so many more tweets were quite the opposite:

“You should’ve just died in that car crash.”

“Harry’s mine. Go die.”

“No one wants you.”

And then one tweet caught my eye:

“How could you date Harry and then Niall and then date Harry again. SLUT!”

And another one:

“You don't deserve either of them. You broke Harry’s heart and now Niall’s. Go kill yourself.”

Each of these horrible tweets hurt me more and more inside, sending tears to my eyes.

What the hell do these tweets mean? Did I break up with Harry and then date Niall? Did I break up with Harry because of Niall?

There was only one way to answer these questions.

I went to my tweets and started reading my latest tweets:

“Even with a makeover from me @EleanorCalder @DaniellePeazer and Perrie still look beautiful, love you girls <3 pic.twitter.com/hxTI1o5a8q”

“They’re a beautiful bunch aren’t they? :) pic.twitter.com/iQHAZLg3u8”

And then the next tweet made me lightheaded again and I felt my stomach drop:

“@NiallOfficial I looooove you soooo much! I had the most amazing day. Happy 3 months <3 <3 <3”

I dropped my phone. I was frozen. I was shocked. So this was the secret. The truth. I was with Niall when the accident happened. I forgot.

And then I was getting angry.

How could they keep this a secret from me? Why? Why would they go on pretending that me and Harry were still together?

Harry.

How could he do this to me? It’s been a month since the accident and he’s lied about everything since.

It was all a lie.

Now, I was livid.

I stood up, grabbed my phone and headed downstairs. I saw all of them turn to me once they saw me and all of their expressions changed.

“How could you all lie to me?” I said and soon enough tears were streaming down my face.

“Isla, what are you talking about?” El said. But they all knew what I was talking about.

“You all lied to me,” I cried, and then I looked at Harry, “how could you?”

He got up and started walking towards me.

“Isla, I can expl--”

SLAP!

I slapped him across the face.

“Don’t! Stay away from me!” I screamed. “All of you, stay away from me! Do you know how humiliated I am right now?! How could you go on lying to me about this?”

I looked at El, “El, I thought we tell each other everything!”

And then at Niall, “Niall, we’re best friends. How could you? Especially, since…since…” I couldn’t seem to make myself say it. How could he possibly keep something as big as being in a relationship from me.

And finally, I looked at Harry.

“And you. You’re the worst out of all of them. How could you lie to me? For a whole month. It was all a lie. How could you do that to me? You tell me you love me. You take me on dates. You kiss me. You hug me. You…make love to me.”

I saw him tense up and I saw Niall stand up, his hands clenched into fists and his face reddening. Then Liam went to him and tried calming him down.

“None of it was real. It meant nothing,” I said. I was starting to feel drained, physically and emotionally. “I obviously felt not important enough to tell the truth.”

Then I looked around at all of them, tears still flowing down my face, “you should all feel ashamed of yourselves. How would you feel if you were in my position? What if it was your girlfriend or boyfriend? The one you thought loves you more than anything in the world. That’s how I feel right now but a million times worse because you all lied to me.”

“Isla, I’m sorry,” Harry said.

I just stared at him with a blank expression. He started crying too. But I felt no sympathy for him. I felt anger and hatred towards him right now. To all of them. I didn’t want to talk to them anymore right now. I can’t even be around them.

“You can take that apology and shove it up your ass, Harry. I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to talk to you. Any of you. I don’t even want to look at you guys anymore. I’m heading to bed.”

And without letting anyone else say anything, I turned around and went up to my room. I fell on my bed and I just broke down. I started crying harder than ever. I couldn’t stop it. I was hurt. I was humiliated. I felt like I had no one right now. Everyone I thought that cared about me, that loved me, turned out to be nothing but liars. Throughout the rest of the night, they kept knocking on my door but I just ignored them. They kept trying to talk to me through the door but I just tuned them out. And eventually, the knocking and talking stopped. I don’t know who was still here. I know Harry for sure was still here but I didn’t if anyone else stayed.

I couldn’t sleep. I realized that I couldn’t stay in this room anymore. I couldn’t stay in this house. I needed to get away.

I quietly got out of bed and I grabbed my suitcase. I put as much of my clothes and other belongings into the suitcase. Then I went over to my desk and got out a pen and some paper. I wrote a letter to them. One addressed to all of them. One for Niall. And one for Harry.

I grabbed it and put it on my pillow. I started to cry again. I know leaving them isn’t the best idea but I needed to get away. I needed time to think. I needed time alone. I needed to get as far away as possible where they can’t find me.

Will I come back?

I don’t know.

Before I changed my mind, I grabbed my suitcase and purse and opened my door. I saw Harry asleep on the floor across from my door. I felt my heart break. I was leaving Harry. I know it’ll hurt him but he hurt me even more.

My letter to him is my goodbye. I know that if I were to leave with all of them there, they wouldn’t let me. And there’s a chance that I wouldn’t be able to make myself. But now was the opportune time to leave while getting hurt as least as possible.

I looked at Harry’s sleeping body for a few more seconds before I quietly went downstairs. And when I passed by the living room, I saw Niall asleep on the couch.

I wished I could’ve remembered. I hated to hurt Niall, too. He was my best friend but he hurt me more than he knows. Hopefully, I'll see him again but not any time soon.

And my letter to him was my goodbye to him, too. They’d read it in the morning and they can forget about me.

I looked at Niall for a while longer and I was finally able to make myself walk out the door.

Away from the house.

Away from my friends.

Away from the people that I love and care about most in the world.

 

***********************************

OMG! THIS PART MADE ME SOOO SAD TO WRITE! :( AND I COULDN'T STOP WRITING! EXTRA LONG PART!!!

Please let me know what you thought of this chapter! and let me know what you thinks going to happen!

please like comment and fan :)

and omg guys, i'm so sad because the TMH tour is starting and i don't have tickets to see them :( i really really really want to but i live in Canada and the only one i can go to is the one in Toronto but it's all sold out :( i'm so depressed :( hopefully i can win some or somehow find cheap ones on ebay (highly doubt it) sorry for annoying you with my sadness right now :(

Anyways, love you guys!

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